His exwife mad at him cause he hasn't called arrghhh?

Question

Yesterday was my stepdaughter's 24th birthday and she still lives at home with her mom.  My husband and I live about 6 hours from them and he hasn't seen his two kids in a while. They do not want to know me so I never met them and him and I been married over 14 years. Believe me, no loss for me. 
I told him try your best for the past 3 years or so to call them and speak to them and see if you can make peace with your children.  Him and his ex were only married from 1985 to 199. I met him in 1989 but we married in 1996.  He didn't leave her for me. The woman he left his ex wife for died in 1992.  
Anyway, when he called for the past 3 years he would talk to his ex for about a 1/2 hour at a time.  Sometimes it was 4 or 5 times a week if he couldn't get ahold of his kids.  Their cell phones were off or they were at work.

They never called our house or his cell phone.
So I felt during this 3 year period these calls led his ex on.  she never remarried.
He tells me no.  When he emailed his daughter 2 years ago about me and I am the one that told him to really try to make peace she or the ex didn't want to hear it and they felt insulted. (they are trouble) 
and when he called after this email the ex wouldn't speak to him.
He hasn't called his kids in about 3 months.  My husband said they have their own lives.  His son moved out and lives with his girlfriend. He is 23 and his daugther is 24.  She lives now with her boyfriend and also at home.
So last night it was his daugther's birthday and he called and the ex answered and just handed the phone to his daugther.
She really has some grudge with him .. I don't know what it can be and I get so mad about it.  I told him you led this woman on calling her 4 or 5 times a week and don't say you didn't...
She still holds feelings for him and still makes him feel guilty cause she didn't want to speak to him because he hasn't called.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr · Accepted Answer

Ok
I am going to be straightforward with you:
The decision of calling his children is his only and not yours.
I understand you married him and are his wife, but you are just that: his wife.
If he doesnt want to call them or his ex- is mad at him, that is between him, her and his children.
His son and daughter dont want to see you? why should them....you are not related to them.

Listen to him but better yet understand him.
Dont pressure him to call them, only him knows the right and wrong time to call them.

treasure your marriage but dont get involved between him and his exes or children.
 I understand that you may feel in between or frustrated but women need to understand that they can't control, change or veer their spouses just understand them.

Hey this is not news to you, you knew his situation before u married him.

hon it's not easy but instead, cuddle with your hubby, dress sexy go on vacation enjoy some quality time together and be his wife and enjoy your marriage :
Good luck

lulu · Answer

Don't feel guilty. Your husband calling his ex-wife every day is stepping over the line. He should keep a friendly relationship with her but talking to her everyday? That is a little more than what is needed. He is calling to talk to his children, then he should talk to them and keep a friendly 5-10 minute conversation with the ex and then get on with it. As long as you aren't  forbidding him to talk to his children or ex-wife, then you aren't doing anything wrong. But the ex-wife is not entitled to speak to your husband every day. And as for the children, you have to understand that their mother is controlling the situation and how they feel about their father. It isn't their fault. All I would suggest is that your husband keep trying to be part of their lives (apart from their mother) like calling them and inviting them to do things with him. They are grown, they can make their own decisions now without their mother. But whether or not they will, is a different matter.

? · Answer

there is a very good chance he is mad at you and that is most likely the case because no matter how i look at it i dont see a way bipolar can be taken in a good way the best thing you can do right now is to try and messege him and tell him you were only joking around and say you are very srry if you offended him in anyway or hurt his feelings.and that you did not mean what you said you were ony trying to make a joke and you apologize that that joke went sour.

bopdaddy · Answer

I can feel sorry for him about the kids but they are not going to change at this age so he needs to accept that they have no desire to see or talk to him.
 You sound jealous so back out of that I assume that you and he are settled by now

Anonymous · Answer

hmm this sounds like the type of question you should ask on jamrie.com
the people over there are really helpful.
 
hopefully that helps

Kris · Answer

He who angers you,controls you --- Confucius

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His exwife mad at him cause he hasn't called arrghhh?

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