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? asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 1 decade ago

What do you think of this poem?

This was written about 5 years ago during an extremely difficult time for me. A way of letting off steam back then. I would appreciate opinions please.

Inquisition

Another poke with the red hot brand

another wound unhealed

I try to give you what you want,

but your demands are so unreal

And then you come with apologies

and a cup of salt behind

You rub the salt into my still raw wound

playing tricks upon my mind

Through a crack in this dark dank cell

I see a spark of fire

It's little light warms my heart

and fills me with desire

Even though I know it's hopeless

and I never will be free

Oh to have the warmth that fire brings

and one day to be free.

4 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    The poem is very well-written and heart-felt, but I must disagree with the premise. We become our own jailers, often, and it up to us to grab the key right there in our hands and open that jail cell.

    For what it's worth, the personality you describe is all-too-common and you are by no means alone.

    But keep one thing in mind...God is not too fond of tyrants, and it always seems to end badly for them.

    Write on!!

  • ?
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    For me a poem has to have rhythm. It does not always need to rhyme but it surely demands to hit my feelings. I believe readability of expression is major as good. I do not love to moment wager what I'm studying approximately. I consistently appear for what I time period "poetic gem stones"within the textual content.

  • 1 decade ago

    I think your poem is better than even you may think...the final stanza is extremely poetic, mature, inspired even. Why? because you've synthesized the entire human condition...the push/pull of emotion where you want the good without the bad, but are willing to accept the bad in order to have the good...even though you "know" you're going to be craving the improbable in case it's not impossible...perfect!

    Nicely done...you get a star! ...keep writing!

    Source(s): Editor, New Poets Press
  • 1 decade ago

    Truly I believe that is a really nice poem to express how u feel when ur upset,mad,or stress! I really love this poem! GREAT JOB! It really made me feel calm and relaxed to forget all my bad memories! I LOVE IT!

    Source(s): I write poems for some newspapers!
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