Kat DeMuriel

I have been extremely depressed for the last 6 months. I know the reason, but it isn't something I can change curently. I have tried everything to get my mood changed-exercise, prayer, meditation, working my butt off, being around people, proper diet, laughter, the whole thing. I have a fleeting sense of happiness, but when it's quiet, all the sorrow comes back.

So....I am looking into an anti-depressant/anxiety drug to help. I was prescribed Prozac 20 years ago, and I had an adverse effect from it. I have friends who have tried suicide being on Seroquel, so i am leery of that as well. I have heard that Wellbutrin may work, with fewer side effects than some.

What have you found that helps with major depression? And have any of you taken Wellbutrin? If so, how does it work for you? Thanks for kind and honest answers.

Does anyone have the lyrics to "Lovin' on Borrowed Time" sung by Bobby "Blue" Bland? I heard it on Pandora today and really like the song. I tried googling it, but I don't think what came up are the lyrics that Bobby sang. Thanks.

My husband and I were approved for a loan modification in September of 2010. At that time, we were to send in our first payment and the new loan would be in effect as of December 2010. I called Bank of America and asked them about payments during the interim. I spoke with 3 people and they all assured me that the payment that I sent in was my December payment and the next one was due in January.

Today, I received a phone call from a debt collector that said my loan was overdue and a payment was due. I told her that I was told by B of A that my first payment was not due till January. She disagreed.

I then called B of A directly. After 4 transfers and over an hour on the phone, I finally found out what has happened. The person I spoke with last said that even though everyone said my payment that was sent with the loan docs was actually my December payment, it was actually applied as a "Gap" payment. As a result of the misinformation, I am now behind a month before I even started with the loan. Has this happened to anyone else? I am so frustrated because I was told no payment was due till January, so the extra funds were used to pay off some other debts. I am ready to just walk away from the house and let the bank have it.

After a doctor's visit yesterday, I was diagnosed with patellar tendonitis. I was told that walking on a level surface was good, but to avoid stairs or hills. Do any of you know of any further exercises/treatment I could do to hasten the healing? I have an infrared heating wrap, and was given an anti-inflammatory. It doesn't hurt normally, just when I climb stairs and stand up from a kneeling position when filing at work. Thanks for your answers.

I seem to have lost my joy. I have been trying to keep busy, be around people, do things that I normally enjoy, but I can't seem to shake it. Even things that I loved to do just a few weeks ago, I have no joy in them anymore. I am not sleeping well, have no appetite, and just feel overwhelmed.

There are several factors that have contributed to this. My husband is undergoing chemo for cancer, I just recently lost my dearest friend and confidant, and the first anniversary of my precious father's death is coming up.

What do you all do to kick a case of the blues and get your joy for life back?

My husband has just started both IV chemo and oral chemo. He just had his 2nd IV on Friday. I am finding that I am having some of the side effects that they warned him about. Both times when I went into the infusion room, I felt nauseous. And my hands are burning and my mouth is constantly dry and a bit sore. My husband had absolutely no side effects the first time, but now, his hands are cramping and he's a bit nauseous, and anything cold makes his throat feel constricted and scratchy. Could I be having simple "sympathy" effects, or could I possibly be getting some of his chemo just by being close to him?

Last night as I was driving home, my head started to feel kind of weird. Hard to explain, but it was kind of light headed and tingly. And then my right cheek and jaw started tingling and it radiated down to my right arm to my elbow. It lasted about half an hour and then went away. I also had a very slight feeling of nausea. I had no numbness, no loss of memory, no problem concentrating, no other symptoms.

I have had alot of stress this past couple months, so my first thought was stroke or TIA. Any additional comments or such? I am going to see if I can get in to see my doc, but he usually takes about 3 weeks to get an appointment. Oh, the wonders of HMO's.

I had a dream last night. I was at some kind of picnic/potluck and my sister was there too. She was at a table with another person. There were a couple baby shower cakes in front of her and she was talking to the woman about making a baby shower cake for someone. (I decorate cakes) But she was going to make this one. She kept poking the cakes and messing up the decorations. I offered to give her my recipe for icing since she's never picked up a pastry bag, but she was rude and said no.

I walked off, a bit hurt and just walked away from the picnic. I was wandering aimlessly through a vacant dusty field, tears in my eyes. I remember feeling the dirt getting into my sandals as I was walking. I looked up and there was a young college age man videotaping me. He said he was doing a project for class and he needed to video someones feet walking just the way I was walking. I figured what the heck and let him continue. I walked across the field again, then watched as he replayed the tape. What I saw was a bit shocking. It was pictures of a woman's feet, but with blood vessels all over them. Then I saw the face and it was a young woman, very pale face, dark hair and the same blood vessel tracings all over her face, like a horror film. She didn't look scary, but rather sad and pensive. I realized then that I was providing the movement for the film, and he was transferring it into animation for the film

At this point I woke up.

Any ideas of a possible meaning? Thanks for any and all ideas.

yesterday I was talking to one of my long-time friends at work about the new business I am starting. The talk turned towards our respective marriages and how we are both breaking out of our shells so to speak. Becoming less dependent on our husbands, etc. She said she noticed that just within the last year I have made some amazing transformations as far as being self-confident and such. Anyways....last night I had a dream that there was an extension cord in the back of my car. I opened the door up and the cord was all frayed and worn, as if it had been caught in the door frame. Ready to break. and then I woke up.

Normally I would chalk this up as just a simple dream, but after the conversation I had with my workmate, I am wondering if this has another meaning? Any thoughts? Am I simply a bit crazy? GRINS.

I was on a train ride up north. Husband was there, but in the dream I only saw him once or twice. It was beautiful outside-trees, rivers, mountains. Beauty everywhere. I remember hearing someone on the loudspeaker talking about a glass bridge that was once used, but has been closed down. They said if you look through the trees you can see it. I opened these russet colored velvet draperies and looked through a picture window. (still on the train, but stopped because no scenery was going past) There was a beautiful blue river below and spanning it was this bridge. Made of metal and glass. The sides/walls of the bridge were glass blocks, and the framework was metal. They were aged/cloudy, but still beautiful. I saw the floor (?) of the bridge and knew it was also made of glass, but it was dirty and if I walked on it, I knew it would break.

The scene changed and I was outside. The train was stopped for a break and we were allowed to stretch our legs. Then husband and I were in a rowboat, (I didn't see him, but knew he was there) but I don't remember any oars, but we were moving. No motor, no sails. We were on a slow moving river, and I was thinking how beautiful the scenery was. I dipped my hand into the cool water and it felt soooo good. I wanted to jump in. I looked up ahead and there was a kind of a pen in the water for swimming creatures. Kind of like a "Shamu" pen if you've ever been to Sea World. But more natural. There were 3 grizzly bears swimming in the water, lazily. Their fur was wet and I remember seeing the ends of their fur shining like silver.

Then I remember hurrying back to the train. I was thinking....OMG we're going to be late and miss the train! Sure enough the train had just pulled out of the station. We went inside and husband promptly disappeared, going to sightsee in the station/museum kind of building. I spoke to one of the workers and asked if they could call the train back. He told me no, but they would be waiting for us in Eugene and we can take a taxi up there to Eugene. I asked them if I could simply stay overnight and catch the next one. They said "No, because it's not the same train and your belongings will not be on the train." I am getting pretty stressed out at this point. I asked how much a taxi would be. The man told me to go outside and ask. As I approached the door, an older woman whispered to me, "Talk to the first car-they will deal with you" I went to the 3rd car instead and was told it would be 1400 dollars to drive up to Eugene. I gasped and felt my insides tighten up. I went to the second car and this woman was there. If you've ever seen the Muppets, she looked like a human version of Janice in the Electric Mayhem Band. Blonde-hippie type. She said she could get us there for 1000 bucks.

At this point I'm thinking, I don't have that kind of money in my checking account, and I don't have a credit card to cover it. I am near tears now and almost frantic. I am thinking..."Well, i could write a check and hope it didn't come through till I got paid" Then I realized that my wallet and all my belongings are on the train. I have nothing, no money, no cell phone, nothing. i am stuck in this town and no way to get out. Husband is no where to be found. I burst into tears, frustration, anger, sorrow, worry. all the emotions rolled into one. And then I woke up.

From re-reading it, this sounds a bit like financial worries. But that sounds too simple to me. Any ideas? If you have read this far, thanks for taking the time.

I have absolutely no trouble falling asleep, but invariably I wake up around 2-3 am every single morning. I am dead tired still, but it's as if my mind suddenly switches on and I can't get back to sleep. I have tried melatonin, warm baths, prayer, reading, a small glass of wine, everything I can think of. It is starting to affect my thought processes and normal waking moments.

I really don't want to become dependent on sleep medicine, but if it doesn't resolve itself soon, I may have to. Thanks for any hints!

I was on a train ride up north. Husband was there, but in the dream I only saw him once or twice. It was beautiful outside-trees, rivers, mountains. Beauty everywhere. I remember hearing someone on the loudspeaker talking about a glass bridge that was once used, but has been closed down. They said if you look through the trees you can see it. I opened these russet colored velvet draperies and looked through a picture window. (still on the train, but stopped because no scenery was going past) There was a beautiful blue river below and spanning it was this bridge. Made of metal and glass. The sides/walls of the bridge were glass blocks, and the framework was metal. They were aged/cloudy, but still beautiful. I saw the floor (?) of the bridge and knew it was also made of glass, but it was dirty and if I walked on it, I knew it would break.

The scene changed and I was outside. The train was stopped for a break and we were allowed to stretch our legs. Then husband and I were in a rowboat, (I didn't see him, but knew he was there) but I don't remember any oars, but we were moving. No motor, no sails. We were on a slow moving river, and I was thinking how beautiful the scenery was. I dipped my hand into the cool water and it felt soooo good. I wanted to jump in. I looked up ahead and there was a kind of a pen in the water for swimming creatures. Kind of like a "Shamu" pen if you've ever been to Sea World. But more natural. There were 3 grizzly bears swimming in the water, lazily. Their fur was wet and I remember seeing the ends of their fur shining like silver.

Then I remember hurrying back to the train. I was thinking....OMG we're going to be late and miss the train! Sure enough the train had just pulled out of the station. We went inside and husband promptly disappeared, going to sightsee in the station/museum kind of building. I spoke to one of the workers and asked if they could call the train back. He told me no, but they would be waiting for us in Eugene and we can take a taxi up there to Eugene. I asked them if I could simply stay overnight and catch the next one. They said "No, because it's not the same train and your belongings will not be on the train." I am getting pretty stressed out at this point. I asked how much a taxi would be. The man told me to go outside and ask. As I approached the door, an older woman whispered to me, "Talk to the first car-they will deal with you" I went to the 3rd car instead and was told it would be 1400 dollars to drive up to Eugene. I gasped and felt my insides tighten up. I went to the second car and this woman was there. If you've ever seen the Muppets, she looked like a human version of Janice in the Electric Mayhem Band. Blonde-hippie type. She said she could get us there for 1000 bucks.

At this point I'm thinking, I don't have that kind of money in my checking account, and I don't have a credit card to cover it. I am near tears now and almost frantic. I am thinking..."Well, i could write a check and hope it didn't come through till I got paid" Then I realized that my wallet and all my belongings are on the train. I have nothing, no money, no cell phone, nothing. i am stuck in this town and no way to get out. Husband is no where to be found. I burst into tears, frustration, anger, sorrow, worry. all the emotions rolled into one. And then I woke up.

I woke up blue today and can't seem to kick it using the methods I normally do. (exercise, physical work, mental work, prayer, friends, relaxation) What do you do to kick the blues?

Has your taste in fragrance changed since you were younger? What do you currently like now?

When I was a teenager I wore a fragrance called "Love's Fire Scent" or "Coty's Wild Musk". When I wear perfume now, it is usually Estee Lauder's "Sensuous" perfume. On me it smells spicy-almost like a pumpkin pie, but better. In the summer sometimes I wear "White Shoulders". It reminds me of orange blossoms, one of my favorite fragrances.

Evidently, in order to catch him, she took his phone and texted Rachel to see if she woudl respond. "In the days before Tiger's alleged affair with Rachel Uchitel became tabloid fodder, sources say Tiger urged Uchitel to talk to his wife. According to two sources who spoke to thedailybeast.com, Elin and Uchitel spoke on the phone for half an hour, in an effort to convince Elin that Tiger's relationship with Uchitel was strictly platonic. After Woods fell asleep, the sources say Elin looked though his cell phone. She found text messages to Uchitel, including one that read, "You are the only one I've loved."

The sources say Elin texted Uchitel, pretending to be Tiger. She wrote a message that read, "I miss you. When are we seeing each other again?"

Allegedly, Uchitel responded to the text, which prompted Elin to scream at her husband and hit his chest with her fists."

Would you have done the same in order to catch your husband?

http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?section=news/ent...

I am going to make a 60th anniversary cake for about 80 people, but I really don't have any ideas what to do. The couple has no preference as to decorating. I am thinking of white buttercream tiers with a dark lavender cascade of roses coming down. (there is a lavender rose called the "Diamond Jubilee" rose)

Since it is the "diamond" anniversary, I would like to add some glitz to it. I have seen some edible diamonds online that look really pretty and I am thinking of placing them around the border of the tiers. Any other ideas that come to mind?

My dad died on the 15th and I dreamt this on the 19th. It is long and detailed, but I would like to get your opinions as to possible interpretation if you please. Here you go.

I was up in Oregon with my sister. My sister and I were in a building that was open on one side, like a shipping dock. We were just hanging around, waiting for someone to come pick up Dad for cremation. A white stakebed truck filled with dark rich soil backed into a loading bay. That was what they carried the bodies away in. We were worried that we wouldn’t be there to see them take Dad away, but the driver said he would let us know when he was leaving.

The scene changed. We were still at the dock, but looking towards the building. It was a wall of stainless steel filled with drawers-to hold bodies. I got the sense that we were talking and we just happened to glance over. One of the drawers was open, and in it was our Dad. He was shorter and for lack of a better term, autopsied. I could tell that his chest was opened up. My sister said, "I've seen more of my dad than I should". Right after that, in unison, we said “I can see his heart” She then told me that they had tied it up with a slip knot this time.

The scene changed again. Same building, but this time I was a maintenance worker of sorts. Someone handed me a bucket of white paint and a brush and told me to “go paint the trim.” It had to be painted every 3 days for some reason. I walked around the corner and the building transformed into a covered walkway with apartments on the right side and a white rail fence on the left. At the base of the fence was a 12” baseboard that was chipped and peeling. As I bent over to start painting, I heard a voice from one of the apartments say, “Hi! What are you doing over there?” I looked up and there was a very old grey-haired woman peering out of her window at me. I knew she was lonely, so I went over and made some small talk with her, talking about painting and just spending some time with her. Then she said something about memory and how she would lose it if she didn’t follow a diabetic diet. She showed me her plate that had eggs, a slice of bacon, juice and tea.

I woke up then. It wasn’t a bad dream, even with my dad’s body being there. It was as if I was supposed to take care of that elderly woman, to spend time with her, to show her I cared. I woke up with a warm feeling, but I can’t explain it. Not joy per se, but a kind of satisfaction.

I have heard that they were used to help the loved ones of the deceased to release their emotions, to cry and "get it all out" so to speak. To help the healing process.

My beloved dad died 2 days ago, and I believe that I may be in kind of a state of shock. It didn't come unexpectedly, however. I have cried, but not the deep healing type of tears that I know I need. I find myself swallowing my tears and sorrow down so as not to make others uncomfortable. My dad did not want any kind of services, but the sense of loss is intense, and it got me to thinking about the professional mourners. Thus my question.

And in clarification-since my dad requested no kind of services, we are not even contemplating keeners, but it got me to wondering. Thanks

This was written about 5 years ago during an extremely difficult time for me. A way of letting off steam back then. I would appreciate opinions please.

Inquisition

Another poke with the red hot brand

another wound unhealed

I try to give you what you want,

but your demands are so unreal

And then you come with apologies

and a cup of salt behind

You rub the salt into my still raw wound

playing tricks upon my mind

Through a crack in this dark dank cell

I see a spark of fire

It's little light warms my heart

and fills me with desire

Even though I know it's hopeless

and I never will be free

Oh to have the warmth that fire brings

and one day to be free.

My workmate has a friend whose teenage son just died. They do not quite know what happened, but a helium tank was found in his room, and they suspect that had a role in it. They do not know if it was suicide or accidental, since he was alone at the time.

Can a person get high on helium and possibly overdose like this? Does the helium take all the oxygen out of the body and cause death?