What do you think of strong long-term relationships without marriage?

You are not crazy to think that way - normal at the stage of life you are at. That does not mean your perspective is correct, but like all else in life, with little experience, comes little understanding.I have been the cool young man living with a woman and I have been married to a different woman for 22 years and counting so I have seen both sides.

What difference does a piece of paper make? Ask anyone with one. That paper carries heavy social, moral, and financial obligations and those obligations are what make young people like yourself want to avoid marriage.

You see you are the issue here, not marriage. You are not willing to make those commitments -nothing wrong with that at all, if that is how you feel. But that does not make cohabitation the moral equivalent of marriage - indeed far from it. Every study has demonstrated that couples who live together before marriage have higher divorce rate if they do make it to the alter and a sizable number do not. It is the lack of commitment that dooms the relationships from the very beginning.

A decade ago I talked to three female co-workers - every one with a college degree and all of them living with their boyfriends. I suggested that living together showed a lack of commitment - they violently objected. I suggested that we check on how these relationships were working out each year on that date and they agreed sure I was wrong. The longest relationship lasted 4 years. I am still married.

Are there long term relationships that work - sure, but they work in spite of the problems inherent in the living arraignment - not because of them. Cohabiting couples have no where near the 50% success rate of marriages. The journal Demography found that 90% of couples living together did not survive 5 years and the reconciliation rate was only one third that of married couples who separate.

Do as you wish - plenty of women out there who are willing to let you have the cream without buying the cow. But there are times in every relationship that are hard and unhappy. The difficulty in ending a marriage is often what keeps a couple working together to find a solution and resolve conflicts. If we could easily walk away we might.

What a real shame it would be for you never to know within your heart that the person you are with you are totally committed to you in those times when things are happy and love is fun and also in those times when the going is hard and life unhappy for a period. I would never want ot be stuck in a situation where my only commitment was as long as wee are enjoying each other. Every life has hard times without enjoyment. If you are not ready to commit this it fine, but be honest with yourself and with whoever you are involved with - this is about your lack of commitment, you unwillingness of face hard times, your inability to promise decades of raising children together.

Are divorces a sad commentary on this commitment - absolutely! But is you unwillingness even to pledge to such devotion more honorable or just an open admission that you lack the devotion that can last a lifetime?

Well speaking only from my personal experience and mistakes...I have had both a marriage and a long-term partner, with all honestly I have to say I much preferred being married. For me, it was a much deeper commitment and was certainly more than 'just a piece of paper'. I like being a 'Mrs', rather than a partner/girlfriend, and despite everything I would marry again if the opportunity and right person came into my life.

Well I think you are very young and you have not yet met anyone to be in LOVE with…. Things , opinion , relations changes in life..believe it or not.

Anyways as per my experience I use to think like you at one stage..but society and my parents and love and age I guess changed my opinion and I married to my boyfriend of 7 yrs .. and now I could not be more sad and depressed. Hence for me ..marriage did ****** everything…reason for it in short is when I married him I thought I know him completely well I know him from 7 yrs.right ? what can go wrong? …Well everything went wrong..i dint know much about his family so now I am just not ,married to him I am married to his family and let just say if I knew anything abt his family b4 I would have not married him!!

Why should we convince you of anything? Aren't you old enough to have your own thoughts without wanting your mind changed? And how is a bunch of stranger's opinions gonna change your mind about something so big? You typed your views, you live your life according to them, you're happy with it, good for you.

I dont believe in relationships at all never have never will

Murder?

Some people can handle it and some people need the institution of marriage, like me, for instance. I need to be married.

Look at Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, together 23 years never married, split up over the summer.

Look at Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, together for decades and not married still.

It depends on the individuals and their reasons for not wanting to get married and their reasons for wanting a life partner without the paper that really binds them together and makes splitting difficult without first trying everything to make it work. All it takes to work is 2 like-minded people. So, if your heart and head are in the right place, I don't see why it wouldn't work for you and for your like-minded partner.

If it ain't broke don't fix it! (Apply that theory to relationships)

I found that change is bad, marriage was a waste of time (about to be divorced)

If you're happy with your relationship how it is and it works then don't change it!

Stuff what other people (family & friends) tell you what you 2 should be doing. There are loads of people who get married after decades together and then get married and it works out so much better for them coz they already know eachother inside and out.

All in all do what you feel works.... marriage is just a piece of paper, it's the relationship that counts.

i think for some people they are extremely successful doing things this way. but most people, especially women, would prefer a commitment.

yeah, its really scary to imagine your life with just one person for years and years and years and years...i can go on but i think you get the picture. the first year is like part perfect part nightmare because your getting used to each other.

then the kids start rolling in and you become "responsible parents" and naturally, that cuts out alot of alone time that you used to have together. your focus is now on the kids not the hubby/wife.

you're too tired for sex and you always need money for this bill and that bill and maybe one of both of your will turn alcoholic.

after five or six years you become...should i even mention it? SETTLED...ewww...every single person's NIGHTMARE.

but at the end of the day, despite everything, its nice to have someone to rely on and depend on who is there for you no matter what. and you can always look forward to the time your kids will be in college and you can honeymoon once again :)