Situation with an ex...opinion please...?

First, I want to give you credit for understanding women better than most men at your age. That being said, there are a few tidbits missing from your knowledge.

Most importantly, it's that women go to their friends to discuss issues for different reasons. Whereas men go when they're having trouble figuring something out and are looking for a solution, a woman will go just to air complaints and stay sane. A woman can ***** about her relationship and how it's failing to friends every day of the week and yet be *thrilled* by it.

Secondly, the reason she's calling and telling these things to you, in particular, is because you're still occasionally on her mind and she wants to be on your mind. Even if she doesn't want to get back together, she would still like to be on your mind as much as you're on hers. That's not specific to women, necessarily.. just human behavior.

Finally, to answer your question: the bracelet would send entirely the wrong message and would be a disservice to both of you (in terms of moving on). There are a few general rules about cards/gifts when it comes to a female friend. The ones that apply here are: absolutely nothing about love, sex, romance; nothing that you would be uncomfortable with your girlfriend getting from another guy. Most guys would freak if their girlfriend got a gift like that, so that tells you what sort of message it sends, and anything to do with love/romance is only OK for relatives or gay/lesbian friends.

Breakups don't mean that you lose all feelings for a person. The feelings just fade. You still have feelings for her, even though you don't necessarily want to be with her, and that's why you're putting SO much thought into this. Stop. And cut off her boyfriend-related talk, too. A simple, "I love hearing from you and will talk about just about anything, but you can't seriously believe it's cool to talk to your ex about boyfriend stuff" will do.

Hi there It does seem aikido is getting some hammer recently? Firstly before people start sticking their two cents worth in lets look at where it comes from first? Its based on core concepts of koryu jujutsu as is judo bjj and lots of other gendai arts. So fundamentally its techniques are solid! Which brings me to gendai arts or modern do arts. These are japanese arts that for historical reasons are more focused on the DO or personal development on the individual hence why they are trained the way they are. They may not well be trained in what is considered to be a realistic manner because they are about development and not the spirit of fighting. If they were bujutsu arts then that would be a different matter. Like i said the principles are solid but like anything its down to how you use them. There is a sport version of Aikido called tomiki where they compete just like competitors of judo. I have had my shoulder ripped out by the world champion of tomiki whilst doing randori which took a good six months to sort out and my should will never be what it once was. Compare this damage to that of a broken nose or bust lip? Its long term! Everything has its place. Aikdio isnt ever going to be useful in a ufc type environment just as restraining or avoiding a knife attack wont go down too well against a bjj practitioner. The art is fit for purpose hence why its used by lots of law enforcement officers around the world. Does it work for real? Depends on the situation and the individual. If youve resorted to using it then youve missed so much that has happened before it and you could question why as a martial artist that was the case? Maybe the bag at the gym wasnt quite up to explaining that one? The most stupid question ever asked by a novice turning up to class. Do you do any boxing in this art? No its an Aikido class??? Bottom line dont try to turn or use something it wasnt designed for. If you want UFC go train in that. If you want Aikido go do that. Its a personal choice and the choices of the arts you think are important or want to train in will change over the years. Whats so important to a novice isnt a big deal to someone who has trained for decades. The eyes will only see what the mind allows and a novices eyes see differently from the experienced! Best wishes idai

Yeah, dude, she's going to think that you are giving her a nice, pretty, well-thought out gift that pertains to something in HER personal life as you trying to tell her that you still love her.

That being said, I think it's a great, really sweet gift and that yes, you should give it to her, but explain to her that you are giving it to her as a FRIEND and a friend only, and that you care for her as a friend, and that you want her to be happy.

Also, I think it's clear that you ARE still in love with this girl, whether or not you realize it.

Come on, man, why would you put up with all of this, and then write this huge post about her, about all of this information about her, just to ask if it's appropriate to give your ex a nice gift when you only want to be her friend?

I don't think that the two of you have any business getting back together, but it's clear that she has had some really bad times, and that it is nice of you to listen to her, and to care about her when she is suffering for whatever reason. You are a really good friend, especially since you don't feel as though she deserves all of these bad things to happen to her, like you did at first. You sound like a really nice, really caring individual and this girl probably will not reciprocate that kind of affection and respect in a relationship, and I think that you deserve to find a girl who will.

However, you know her much better than I do, and if you think that she's grown and learned enough to be with you again, then that is your call. But you do love this girl, you clearly love this girl.

Otherwise you would have brushed off everything that you wrote about here, wouldn't have written about it, and wouldn't have thought that much about what gift you are getting her for her birthday when everyone else just gives their ex/ friend a 'happy bday' text.

Good luck to you.

just tell her what you told us. she keeps coming back to you because she is comfortable with you. let her find her own way. you are a good friend and she is lucky to have you. and the bracelet is a good idea. you don't need our advice, you already know what to do :)

Too much text. Give her a different present this one sends too many messages