If your bathroom scales could talk what would it tell you?

One at a time, please.

I think mine would say "Just because you have a great metabolism, doesn't mean you have to take advantage of it." Im thin framed and dont gain weight easily.. But one day Im going to die of a heart attack.. or high cholesterol or have diabetes or something. God forbid.

You should start a get dumped diet. 10 pounds in 2 weeks! We could be rich!

"Leave me alone. You use me too much and you're very heavy. You used to be lighter. I love you" LOL I love my scale.

gain some weight

mine would tell me to clean them, it's actually disgusting how grimy they are.

in fact, i shall go and clean them this evening!

mine would say put some pants on i find it strange that i have to ask twice

It would say, "You're getting up there on age & weight"!

for my sake, lay down on the fries

Commissar; You are getting lazy, go execute more heretical guardsmen.

you need to eat a sandwich