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How to get the shy guy out of his shell without seeming over barring?

hes in three of my five classes so i see him at least once everyday. he asked me for my number but i think that took every ounce of confidence he had and now its depleted. i still talk to him when i can but he seems so nervous. also he asked for my number tuesday and still no call. i want to go on a date with the guy but he hasn't called! tips?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    This strikes home because a few years ago I was that shy guy. You're right. It took every ounce of his courage to ask for your number. What I'd do is ask him to join you for an activity, but not a date. Say - "I'm helping habitat for humanity this weekend, we could use some help!" or " I'm doing a beach cleanup this weekend, wanna help " This completely takes the pressure off of him, but allows him to join in (and spend time with you which he desparately wants to - he's just afraid of rejection). Afterwards you can then say " Wow, that was fun, maybe we can do that again" and invite him for coffee, a soda, a hotdog - whatever -- right then. He'll stumble, and stammer, but will probably say ok. He'll also not talk much. He's petrified! And he doesn't want to sound lame. So the talking is probably going to be up to you - school, music, tv, movies, whatever (even better if you can get some ideas what he likes - you may have to be very observant!). When you are done, and this is key, look him right in the eyes and say " I had a great time hanging out with you. I hope we can do this again. You make me feel like me" (well, it worked for the girl who later became my wife).. I did call for the next date - and the rest -- as they say -- is history. ;)

    good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    Of course he will have hard time asking you out. He is nervous and is fearful that you will just reject him strait out. You will have to ask him out or ask him to just hang out or something. So this will be your job to handle to get him out of his shell. Give him a call and just be nice to the guy.

    Now a tip to take on any shy guy. Always be nice to them and honest, even if it will hurt them. Just be really nice to him and give him a nice hug to make him feel better. Another thing that I found when trying to break out of the shy guy mold is that I would try to break things down. So don't ask him big questions but smaller ones that will add up to the bigger question.

    Note as a shy guy, you will most likely find out that he has some nerdy traits of some sort. So don't be surprised by that but a nice little secret is that the shy ones always have a little surprise in them. They just never get the confidence to show how nice they are most of the time.

    Source(s): Recovering Shy guy
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I was in a similar situation a month ago and now we are going out..

    i found it really frustrating at the time because i felt like was making all the effort. You have to understand that making the first move is a huge deal for a really shy guy. Everyone is terrifies of rejection. The fact that he managed to ask for your number is a great sign and you like him too so it's really up to one of ye now to get it moving. While you might want him to do the running, being an insecure guy, he's not going to want to put himself in a vulnerable situation. Of you want something to happen you yourself are going to have to take the next step (this is what i had to do). Ring him first and let him know you are a nice person who isn't going to hurt him.

    It's all about reassuring him and boosting his ego.

  • 1 decade ago

    why dont u ask him for a casual coffe? Get to know what are his intrests. Even if u are unaware abt the things bable abt it. Will make him ease and might correct u as well, take it positivly and then it shouldnt be hard.

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  • 1 decade ago

    To do that just txt him and say something typical like "Sup" or "Hey" to him and start a convo. Maybe doing that will spark his brain. Doesnt seem too over barring. Hope this helped :D

    Source(s): Myself
  • 1 decade ago

    well why dont you ask him for his number and txt or call him and friend him on facebook or some and try talking to him and ask him what he likes to do and ask him out i am sure he will say yes but i would get his number fisrt than txt him and ask him if he wants to go out than go from there good luck

    answer mine plz? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=201001...

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Find out what he likes to do...he must be good at something (surfing, skating, motorcycles, biking) then ask if he would help you learn how to do it a little better..you'll be in like flint.

    Source(s): a guy who realized early on i was the most confident around girls when I was doing something I was good at with them (that's one reason guys like cars so much, it empowers them)
  • If he is shy, your going to have to ask him out. He is probably sitting at home to nervous to call you. Good luck.

    Mine?

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AkPJu...

  • 1 decade ago

    call em cute and say how you wish you had a guy like him to open your pickle jars and so forth

  • 1 decade ago

    now's ur time to get out of your shell and lead this shy guy. break them in. (or have him break you in) that's how u get him gettaouta his shellz.

    Source(s): representative of all shy guyz
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