life changing decision?

I can't really agree with Carl about the relationship being strong. That is a bit idealistic even strong relationships are often torn apart as they require lots of effort to maintain them even in normal daily life. Four years would pretty much be the touch of death for the relationship but it's up to you to decide if you are okay with that.

I agree with the person above who said you should try living there for a month or so before deciding anything if you have not done so already. Japan is a wonderful place but it is not an easy place for many foreigners to adjust to.

Hey, I was in the same boat. Had a big interest in Japan, wanted to go and experience it, then I found the love of my life. We got married, and didn't think of Japan too much anymore.

Then, I found out she was seeing other guys on the side. Kicked her out, moved here, and have never looked back.

Take the chance and come here. True love will wait.

Well that is difficult. Talking to her would be the best thing and feel out what her thoughts are while being open minded yourself.

I would suggest staying in Japan for a month or so before deciding. Many people come with unrealistic ideas of what Japan is have their ideas crushed after living the reality of life here. Being apart for that long will almost certainly end your relationship no matter who right you are for each other and love each other. You may reconnect again later and may not you just have to be realistic about it and choose what is best for you?

Just out of curiosity what do you plan on doing with Japanese language skills? It is not a super in demand skill in most of the world.

if you are as strong as you say, time apart shouldnt be much of a problem

itll either make you guys .. or break you guys.

i knwo its hard and everything but if it is a dream.. i think she will want you to do whjat you have been forever wanting to do.

and its not lke you wont ever see her again, you can see her, and since there is skype and everything you can talk to her too :)

im ending my long distance rela. with my boyfriend, we have been away 3 years. if we can do it. im sure you guys can too.. cause we arent the best of couples but we tried so hard to make it happen. ill see him in 2 weeks -- and this time forever.

i hope the best for you, good luck.. dont regret anything ;)

talk with her about it and tell her how long you've wanted to do it for. You could always study Japanes where you live. There will be universities that will have Japanese Language Skills. As for visiting Japan maybe you and her can go there on Holiday. You never know she might want to go to Japan as well.

Good Luck

I have by no potential had a clean answer yet I have given the question to the Lord in simple terms like you. Then at the same time as its time i bypass on my emotions no longer what makes the most experience from time to time. i have self belief the Holy spirit is in me so i bypass with that. Its person-friendly to inform in case you chosen properly or no longer. bear in mind even if you screw up and also you're making the incorrect judgements God can nonetheless bless that course and if God needs you someplace you'll locate your earlier round.

Sounds like my situation 15 years ago.

If you try and take away the emotions, count the chances you will have to go to a university to study Japanese. Will you be able to find another opportunity like that?

I decided to pursue marriage and a tech career instead of the JET program. College graduation came, and then marriage. Soon after graduation, a really good job came along and I found myself working in the tech sector. As a junior engineer, I was assigned to a project that was in Japan, that included multiple business trips to Japan. Fast forward 7 years later, and the dream of working in Japan came. It was in the form of an inter company transfer. I took the entire family and my kids loved it.

Lightning could only strike once, or twice. But what are those chances.

Live your dream & go. If your relationship is really that solid, it will last the separation. Staying in contact is cheap. And with sites like skype, you can still see her in real time live.

Another factor to consider is how will you benefit from this schooling ? You will still have to think about your future employment. Do you plan to marry this lady ? What are her opinions of Japan & the Japanese ? There may come a time when you have to choose between the two. I did the same thing many years ago.It didn't have anything to do with Japan, but it was having to decide between a woman and something else.I chose the woman, and it turned out to be a big fat mistake.

I'd sit down and have a long talk with her.Both of your futures are at state.

I agree with Carl, go for it ! I'm wondering how old these people are who say 4 years will kill a relationship ? Men have left their loved one to join the military and have returned. My parents did this.

On the negative side men go to prison & return to a loved one.

Sorry Saru, maybe you've never been in love.