I would like your opinions on my moral dilemma?

Question

(Just bear with me for a bit an allow me to get through the details of my life to set up my story) My father left my mother and I when I was quite young. About 14 years ago my mother re-married and it has been nothing but hell since. This man has treated me like crap from the first moment he set foot into my life. What's worse is that my mom allows him to do this so I was quite trapped in this situation for a while. Now I'm 22 and I am capable of standing up against his crap. Don't get me wrong, even though I defend myself against him, my stepfather never passes up an opportunity to make my life more miserable. As you can imagine they had children during the course of their marriage, 2 to be precise. Currently we all live in a house that my mom bought about 4 years ago. The deed is solely in my  mom's name since my stepfather did absolutely nothing to help. Even now, he continues to do close to nothing in terms of contributing financially to the household, but my mom still enables his behavior. Well in any case, my moral dilemma begins here. My mom has refused to make a will, much to my chagrin. If my mom were to die today, I would be the beneficiary of here insurance policies but it is highly likely I would loose the house to my stepfather who would surely throw me out. Even if I fought him in court, saying "he doesn't like me" does not serve as a very good justification to inherit the house. Furthermore, he is working while I am in still college. This gives more of a reason for the judge to award him the house. I actually considered letting him live there if I was allowed to keep the house but I quickly disregarded his idea since he would probably just leech off of me just like he does my mom. Besides that, even if I were to inherit the house, what am I to do with my younger half-siblings. To be honest, I do not believe I am a big enough person to say that I will take care of them. I have a few reasons for this. Firstly, I am their older half brother. They hardly listen to me as it is and are quite rude to me. I highly doubt that they're just gonna start obeying me all of a sudden. I'm trying to get into med school, I can't afford to divert my attention to two other children. This brings me to the third reason. I wil probably use my mom's insurance money to pay off the house's mortgage (if I do get to keep the house), but even if I did get a job, I don't think I can pay for the house's utilities, my education, and the living expenses of 3 people. My stepfather already has a house which he currently owns and is inhabited by his ex-wife and 3 children from his first marriage. He frequents this place EVERY weekend much to my mother's dissatisfaction. Basically, if I inherited the house and told him to move out, he would be ok. I just think it is So unfair for a working man who owns his own house to dump his children off on me. Besides I am only 22. I want to live my life without having to worry about children. Above all else, the most irksome reason is that they are not my children, and I ultimately should not be held accountable while they have a parent who is fully capable of taking care of them. Well finally I arrive at my question. If my mom were to die in the near future, what should I do about the house, my stepfather, and two half siblings? Please do not judge me, I am not a bad guy. I would just like to live my life without tending to the responsibilities of others. I do not plan to abandon my siblings at all. I just do not have the means (mostly money and time) to serve as an effective parent to my younger hafl siblings.

TruthSpreader · Accepted Answer

Hi

You are worried aboiut future stuff way too much. No one knows the future but God. Just a reality check - you might die before any of them.To plan is fine but to go worry about things that's not yours is absolutely a waste. 

Live for today.

Take care

Jake K · Answer

I think you have problems. One is that you can't write in paragraphs, two is you droll on and on. Get on to the damn point already. The fact everything is bunched together makes it unapealing to my eye. It'd be like if I did this on my entire next paragraph.

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That last paragraph was more appealing to my eye than that mess of a paragraph. Retry the question in a new format and I can help maybe.

Anonymous · Answer

IF you want some more responses than use paragraphs and £10 says that loooaaddss of that deatil could be deleted. 

I really could not be arsed to read the whole way through that, but by reading the other comments and the bottom section i have arrived at the conclusion that you need to get a grip, move out and stop acting so pathetic. 

Is your mum actually going to die or have dreamt for her death to come so much that you genuinely believe it is going to happen?

Lastly "" I am not a bad guy."""" and """"I would just like to live my life without tending to the responsibilities of others."""" is kind of contradiction? If you were a good guy than you help your family all you could.

qreusjorj · Answer

First of all, don't ever feel entitled to anything that isn't yours.  If your mom doesn't want you in the will, move on with your life.  Focus on your education and the goals you want to achieve in life.  The way you were writing this made it sound like your mom is terminal.  If you have already asked her about leaving a will and she didn't want to, move on.  You will be better off and a stronger person earning your own way.  I'm not expecting to inherit anything but debt from my parents.  

Also, your 1/2 siblings aren't your responsibility.  They are your mom's and step father's.  I'm not saying to abandon them but you do need to move on with your own life.  Sounds almost good to go away to med school and get away from them so you can focus on your studies.  If you become a medical professional and are independent you would then be in better position to help your siblings.  Plus they will have a good example from their older brother.

mitch · Answer

arnt you jumping the gun a little ,you seem to have a date for your mums death,what makes you think your siblings will still be young when she dies,if you want to live your own life move out,you seem a very self centered person

Anonymous · Answer

are you expecting your mother to die anytime soon?  if not the dont worry about it now.  finish school find a job and get your own place.   or you could always kill your step-father and claim he was molesting you.  joke

Anonymous · Answer

I'm not reading anyone Else's life story's until I get paid!

Anonymous · Answer

You should have used paragraphs, because I'm not even going to bother to read this, sorry.

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I would like your opinions on my moral dilemma?

8 Answers