Is my mom's boyfriend verbally abusing me?

I'm sorry, you're mother is a schmuck and a sap. If she moved him in that quickly, they were already having an affair and your mother is such a headcase that she cannot live on her own without a man. She's an idiot, he's a schmuck of the highest order, you can show him and her this post if you like. There are many women who are not equipped to live alone. They need a man to tell them when to think, pee, crap, cook and then lose their individuality, their sense of being, their self worth. If you got angry, good for you, I dont' care if he's older, he is not your father and he has no right to talk to you in that matter and for a lawyer who should know the law of child abuse, and an adult he should know better. As for your mom, I promise you, he's verbally abusing her too, she's just too stupid to acknowledge it and by picking up his bad habits and siding with him it validates her in his eyes. She doesn't have anything else in her pitiful life, she is no longer her own person anymore, she doesn't own who she is or what she should be or who she should believe in, herself. Someday, she will regret that so badly, its going to be like a cancer eating away at her soul, b/c YOU are her daughter, she was given the privelge of being your mom and she's screwing it up big time. If such a thing were to happen again, please call Child Protection Agency and report them both. They are wrong and they are stupid (I promise you, having a degree for some people means nothing, they're still as dumb as a rock) and they are ignorant in their parenting skills. Like I said, show them this and if you can, can you live with your stepmom or another adult. You are 16 now, the law allows you to make your own decisions now. At least check in your state if you are of legal age.

I think your mom is dealing with a lot of hidden past pains herself. She moved on quickly to fill a void but in doing so choose a wrong direction and feels bogged down, run down, and that she doesn't have a way out. So she is actually doing what you in the new year have been doing. Just grinning it and baring it which you should not do. I personally think that you and your mom need to go to a mutual place and discuss the things that have been going on since the passing. Get it all out on the table and as the for verbal abuse thing...I know what that is like. My dad used to be a single father and a alcoholic so I had to take care of me and my two younger sisters. It is very very stressful and hard. I would talk to your AODA counselor if you have one at school and see if they have a secret meeting once a week, I know they did at my school and it made my life A LOT easier to just go and vent about the verbal abuse and you even make some new friends out of it. Just remember though if it makes you feel any better that...what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. The verbal abuse I had to endure over the years have made me a much better person and now a mother, and even when I get upset of frustrated I look back at what NOT to do and it makes it so much worth while. You learn from others mistakes. To be honest, you mom's new boyfriend is probably jealous of you and that is why he talks that way to you. Because you are a upbeat strong person and that just pees him off. My dad is the same way....hated it when I was right even if I had the facts in front of him he would never admit he was wrong. Good luck and take care. :)

Well Kimberly, You mom's boyfriend sounds like an old bear that just as soon kill the cubs to get to momma bear. You need to talk to your mom about this and if she can't control him see if you could move to your dad and step moms house instead.

If that's not an option then you'll have to go the extra mile and be as nice to him as you possibly can for the next two years until you're 18 and then you can move out.

I'm sorry you have to go through this right now but, what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. At least you'll know what to look out for when you're choosing your boy friend.

Hi. Sounds like a potentially volatile situation. And it's complex depending on whether you live in the household and etc. You want to avoid a situation where this person could attack you or your family. If you are a minor, your mother has no right ti subject you to such an environment. However, it might be difficult to confront your mother since she might take his side and/or kick you out of the house. And again, someone might try to attach you. If you are a minor, the state might try to remove you from the home. You don't want that because the state's facilities could be worse. Get your H.S. diploma and get your butt into college. Much better things await you outside of that hell. Focus on your education. You need to talk with someone beyond what this board can offer. I recommend a relative first. This is such a delicate situation. If you are not a minor, it's a little bit easier but no less painful. You'll have to advise your mom of what is best for her. But ultimately, it's your mom's personal life. She can crash & burn but she has no right to take you with her. You can be there for her in limited fashion but avoid visting any place (e.g. her home) that her boyfriend is likely to visit. And restrict her form bringing her boyfriend around you & family, calling, and etc. Best wishes! -Leon S

You should NOT grin and bear it! No way! I was in a situation like yours once and I'm more screwed up than I've ever been in my life. You need to get out! I would strongly advise you to ask to live with someone else like another family member for example that step mom you're talking about or a friend. I'm telling you staying there will be the worst thing you can do for yourself. If you need a friend to talk to about this I can help. Just email me.

it doesn't exactly sound like you and your mum's bf get on and that about it, i don't think he is abusive, look at it this way he is your mum's partner who she chose to be with, in the next few years you are going to be ready to fly the nest, don't make your mum the meat in the sandwich its not fair.

If things get to bad sit down and talk to her about possibly moving in with your dad and step mum.

at the end of the day there is going to be times where we just have to put up with people we don't like for the sake of our loved ones happiness, our jobs etc....

good luck with the situation

Will it be possible for you to go and live with your stepmom? That man is a piece of crap and it is not healthy for you to be anywhere near him. I would start looking for a summer job and live with a stepmom and try to make it to college. Your mother is VERY wrong in all this. You need to try to make the best out of all this mess that your mother created and try to take a good care of yourself. Be strong.

be patient

life is test

mail me this question, I give longer reply