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toddler whines / cries for everything?
my 2-yr-old can form 2-3 word sentences &can communicate fairly well. this past month, though, she's been whining (on the verge of crying) for everything e.g. she wanted a box of cereal from the shelf. my hand is on the froot loops. she says no and starts that whiny cry. i ask her to stop & try for the box of cheerios. whiny cry. i ask her to stop again and rest my hand on the rice krispies, she nods & whimpers. my usual strategy is to not give her what she wants until she stops crying/whining. when her whine-cry goes into full blown cry with tears, i wait for a few moments and ask her if she's finished crying. she will say yes, and wipe her eyes. then i try again (to figure out what she wants in the first place). i usually get it the third time around.
my questions are:
(1) is her whiny crying the beginnings of a future discipline problem?
(2) am i doing the right thing or is my strategy the beginnings of raising a spoiled brat?
(3) if yes to 1 & 2, please do give me other strategies to work with. (it's really hard to focus on her because i have a 4-month-old as well. sometimes, my toddler gets into her mood while i'm nursing the infant. oh wow! i need four more pairs of hands!)
5 Answers
- 1 decade ago
Sounds like you are doing great! Whining is not the beginning of a discipline problem, it is very normal for her age.
Just keep telling her that you can not understand her when she cries, and she needs to talk to you in a "big girl voice". As long as you DO NOT GIVE INTO HER WHEN SHE WHINES you will teach her that only a respectful and clear tone of voice will get her needs met.
As a side note, if she only gets into her moods when you're nursing, it may be because she wants attention, too. Maybe when you nurse you can do something special with her too, like watch a movie she picks out, or she can "read" you a story, or she can "help mommy with the baby" and get a blanket or your slippers. If you make her feel a part of the nursing time, she will look forward to it instead of getting upset that your attention is somewhere else.
- FLmomLv 41 decade ago
Totally normal toddler thing. I don't believe it's a sign of future problems, unless you deal with it inappropraitley now. I think what you are doing is fine, however maybe try just getting down to her level and in a very positive voice say "you don't need to cry when you want something, just tell Mommy what you want". I've had to remind my two year old of this from time to time, and we really haven't seen any melt downs.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
when she starts the whining and crying just walk away. like if you point to the fruit loops and she whines, then just dont say anything and walk away, and dont come back until shes stopped crying. by continuing to point to the cereals, she getting the idea that its okay for her to whine her answers, because you will continue to engage with her and shell get what she wants. if you walk away every time, then shell see that if she doesnt stop crying, shell never get what she wants.
- mommy miaLv 51 decade ago
i think you are doing the right thing. my son is two and half and doesnt whine but he wimpers... my newphew (same age) whines everything he says at some point. I think this is what they do at two years old.
I guess whining is a normal thing our voice does when we are tired and "whiney."
I hear other moms say "what? i cant understand you in that whiney voice." Then usually the kid starts talking regular. You just have to remind them that you dont respond to tht voice. Which seems to be what you are doing!
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