I'm serving some homemade fortune cookies at my next orgy, what should the fortunes say?

"CUMfucious say 'watch out for teeth. thank you, come again.' " lucky number: 69

I would like one that says " You will find a fortune soon when you kiss the man of your dreams" oh and the lucky numbers should be the next lottery numbers

anything a regular fortune cookie says but add "in bed"

big brother is watching.

holy cow is that gregor samsa behind you?!

never tickle a sleeping dragon.

they're taking the hobbits to isengaurd.

beware of men who sparkle.

a poisonous toadstool never changes its spots.

ok ive run out of mood killers.

1st cookie: "It's about time you got laid"

2nd cookie: "but not tonight, you'll have food poisoning"

3rd cookie: "Just kidding... you won't be able to get it up! Have a good night though won't you :)"

They should have the phone numbers to both the free clinic and to Planned Parenthood...

You will get in early to avoid sticky situations.

I have COME to the conclusion that your next encounter will be great..

FAIL?

Beware the STD's.

VIVA LA RAZA!

tonight will be a great night