Would this company hire me?

Question

This is a cover letter for an application to Business Development Bank of Canada. I'm currently a student looking for a summer job. Let me know if I should change anything... or add... etc.


I am applying for a position at Business Development Bank of Canada. It would be an excellent opportunity for me to have a chance to work for your company. I am a student currently enrolled in the Bachelor of Business Administration program; with the knowledge I am learning, I could relate that knowledge back to the BDC. 

Engrained in the Bachelor program, there are group term projects, which are essential to a business education. I will have gained interpersonal communication skills and be able to work efficiently to get any appointed task completed. I enjoy working in group projects because it’s a great way to meet new people. It is also an effective way of accomplishing work. I can gain knowledge from colleagues while contributing some of my own input. 

I have 5 years experience in customer retail/service and enjoy working with people. In addition to my strong background in customer service skills, I have the ability to learn new skills quickly. I am sure my training will prove particularly useful for whatever area I am assigned to. I feel that by adding me to your staff I will provide kindness and dependability that your customers will come to know and trust.

I would welcome the opportunity to meet with you in an interview. You can reach me on my cell phone at __________ and if I am unavailable you can call my home number, _________. I look forward to your call. Thank you for your time and consideration.


Here is their website...

http://www.bdc.ca/en/careers/company/values_and_code_of_conduct.htm

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

you might change first sentenceto say "I am applying for any currently open entry-level position". Maybe list a time range to call you (4 p.m.-6 p.m).

Anonymous · Answer

If you are not making this up, and you are not trying to retaliate for some personal grudges here are things you need to: First of all, you need to document all the incidents when and how these illegals "bothered" you. Exactly what they did and when did the incidents happened. without solid documentation & evidence, you don't have a case. then, you could either file a complain to the department of labor in your state and request for an investigation or something like that, or, you could just gather your evidence and report to ICE, but just be prepared that you are certainly going to lose you job. So I say at least have a back-up plan in terms of the future of your job. I have to warn you, if these illegals have the galls to bother you just because you are legal and you speak English, then they most likely will really retaliate in a bad way if you try to get them deported. Just a cautious note, you never know. Su nena: Just in case you have not realized, unlike countries such as Mexico, Columbia or any of the third world latin countries, this country (I mean U.S.A) was founded on a system in which law and justice actually work most of the times. And if people in this country over the generations all subscribe to this "no snitching" mentality, WE WOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE EXACT BLOODY MESS AS MEXICO, COLUMBIA, GUATEMALA, with more than 50% people illiterate, government corrupt to the nose, poverty rampant, ALL BECAUSE WE SHOULDN"T SNITCH.....

Tiny Dan · Answer

you need to shorten that , at least in half , focus on your experience , contact info at top and bottom as part of the letterhead don't add it in as its own paragraph.

  this person is going to get 100 of these , it has to be fast and smack them in the face .

i am applying for this position , i want a chance to prove myself worthy to the company , i will not let you down , i will work from the bottom and advance as needed by the company. 

thank you for your important time, enclosed is my resume.

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Would this company hire me?

3 Answers