Younger Girl and Older Guy .. What's up with him?

Question

Hiya everyone, I am looking for some advice.

I'm 16 and my "boyfriend" is 23, we met when I was 15 but he thought I was 18 (I lied to him) I do look a lot older for my age. Anyway I eventually admitted my age a few days after my 16th birthday, safe to say we stopped talking for a while, well I ran into him while he was on a night out with his friends and we started talking again, took me a while to get him talking properly but I managed it and we managed a strained friendship at first but it improved quite quickly.   

Well that's the back story, we have recently offically got together, everything was fine for a while till I decided I wanted to sleep with him and he has gone distant.  We never slept together before so it would have been our first time, but I feel like he is rejecting me, I wanted to know if it's possibly something I am doing wrong that he doesn't like or is there possibly another explantion?

If it helps anyone figure this out then here is something else.  Before I told him how old I really was I was broody and really wanted a baby so I spoke about babies with him alot because he wanted one as well in a few years time and if me and him was together at the time he would love to have 1 with me.  So he would quite openly talk about sex and having kids with me before but now he just avoids any kind of topic that relates to sex in any way.  He is the kind of guy that wants to wait a while before sleeping with somebody but was open to talk about it and now I'm getting no responce from either.  A friend mentioned it could be the age but if that was the case he wouldn't be with me would he?

Somebody please try guide me in the right direction, I feel really confused and I don't want to make him uncomfortable by forcing this out of him till I get a better understanding of what I might have to face.

? · Accepted Answer

Well given that this was asked on the U.K version then I'll assume you are both living here in the U.K, if that is the case then for you both to be having sex would be perfectly legal as I'm sure you are both aware.  I'll assume the person who answered before me was from the U.S where the legal age of consent is 18 if I'm not mistaken. 

Well now that's covered I'll take a stab at this,  If it is an age thing then maybe he is worried you are lying about your age again (though I would assume you had shown proof) or maybe he is worried about how your friends and family and his are going to take the news.  Possibly he may not feel comfortable sleeping with you because you he may be thinking along the lines of "She's barely legal" and maybe that worries him.

Ok that's a few ideas at the sex part, now lets have a crack at the whole baby thing.  First off I think 16 is a little young, minimum 18 if you ask me but then I would still say wait till mid 20's.  I don't think there is going to be any underlying problem with him here purely because you already mention that in a talk (prior to the age incident) that he wants children of his own in the future, unless you have tried to pressure him into having a baby with you.

Lastly the ages.  16 and 23? that's a 7 year gap, nothing major honestly, there is married couples who have been together since 1 of them was 16-17 and the other 10+ years their elder. My Nan and Grandad are a example, She was 17 and he was 26, still together 50+ years later, so there is proof it can work and I'm sure there are many more couples like it.  I think it's just a case of if the people around you who influence you will find it sociably acceptable or not. Myself I think it's fine, though would be nice to get view points from others on here.

ciel · Answer

properly, i'm getting what you're asserting, and that i do think of that a 50 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous with a 20-something 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous is slightly extreme (yet it does take place), yet as you become older the hollow closes. as an occasion a 22 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous and a 14 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous sounds gross- it is gross, yet what some 32 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous with a 24 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous? comparable age difference, yet it does not sound as disgusting. I do have faith that quicker or later in time (50 and 20-something) that is not love, that is something else (money). yet it relatively is my opinion. i've got in no way been in that extreme of a situation to declare for actuality nonetheless.

2pm · Answer

IT'S ILLEGAL. He's probably worried aobut the legal consequences if you two sleep together. If anyhting, I think it's good that he doesn't want to have sex with because it means he doesn't want you only for that.

I personally think that you're too young for this guy, but if you like him, go for it (just no sex). I don't understand why you want to actually have a baby at 16. I mean, I'm 17 and I love babies and I'd love to have one right now, but I want to wait until I'm married and have a decent job. Have you thought this through at all? How would you support the baby? what would you do about school? Would he even stay with you afterwards?

I think you're being a immature. YOu shouldn't have lied to him about your age. You shouldn't be trying to have a baby at 16. YOu're not really thinking about the consequences.

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Younger Girl and Older Guy .. What's up with him?

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