help! i need opinions on my story!?

okay so i'm writing this story. i got my inspiration from my 11 year old sister, which is why it's about an 11 year old and her POV. i created almost a whole life set around her. this is the second chapter. please tell me what you think, i can take harsh comments and it's stupid please tell me

I didn’t wake up the next morning; I was woken up by Lisa at 6:30 in the morning.

“What?” I said meanly because I was cranky. Lisa held the phone out; she seemed equally tired and cranky.

“It’s your little friend” she said handing me the phone. I knew who she meant. Bailey, my best friend, always called super early because she gets up really early and doesn’t consider me about it much. She just loves to talk.

“OMG Summer today is the day!” she screamed in my ear once I put the phone to it. It was too early then, but if my brain was woken up and functioning correctly I would’ve known she was talking about the fact that I was leaving for Fire Island today. I always left on the first Saturday of summer vacation and Bailey knew that all too well.

“What?” I asked, half asleep. I could tell from even on the other line Bailey was rolling her eyes.

“You’re going to Fire Island today” she reminded me.

“Oh yeah. Well bye then” I told her because it would have been even more rude if I fell asleep during our phone conversation rather then saying bye.

“Fine. Waste away your life sleeping.” She always said that whenever I told her bye around 6:45 A.M.

“I’ll wake up at 9:00 if it makes you happy” I promised.

“Okay, then call me!” she chirped cheerfully.

“Sure thing” I hung up the phone and lied back in my bed, already asleep.

“SUMMER!” I heard a scream that woke me up. There was pounding on my locked door.

“What?!” I called angrily.

“It’s almost time to leave and you haven’t even started packing!” Lisa cried from the other side of the door. Crap I though to myself looking at the time. Bailey was going to be mad. I scanned through the list of excuses I had in my head. I picked one out and dived for the phone I left in my room after my last phone conversation.

463-0873 I dialed in the number quickly.

“Summer!” Bailey picked up the phone.

“Hi Bailey. I’m sorry I didn’t call you at 9, Lisa spilled milk on it and it was acting all strange” I recited.

“Aw that’s okay. I’m sorry” she apologized for God-knows-what

“Why are you sorry?” I asked.

“You put a sticky phone to your ear for me!” she sounded so honored. I laughed. The funny part was that she was serious.

“It’s okay, really. But look, I’m sorry I got to go pack. I promise I’ll call you on my cell in the car. It’s just being charged right now” I said to Bailey before hanging up the phone.

“K bye!” and we both ended the call. I wasn’t very close to ready when I heard the doorbell ring. I was in the shower and panicking. I quickly smoothed the rest of the conditioner out of my hair and had enough time to get my robe on and get the blow dryer started. That way I didn’t have to greet whoever was at the door while I was drying my hair.

“Ah!” the piercing scream made it’s way up a few flights up the stairs, through the closed door of the bathroom, penetrating through the sound of the blow dryer and still able to break my ear drums. I quickly turned the blow dryer off and ran quickly downstairs, a weapon (toothbrush) in hand. I took one look and screamed just as loud, if not, louder. There was the most horrifying scene in my living room.

“Who let that in? Ferrets could carry rabies!” I said pointing at my oldest sister’s new hairdo. Last time I saw her, her deep blue eyes had complimented her long flowing blonde hair (all of us Tyler’s have blue eyes and blond hair) but now her hair was shoulder length and brown. It was a light breezy brown that her blue eyes didn’t compliment, AT ALL.

“Oh my God you’re so mean” Rachel walked over to give me what was supposed to be a jokingly nuggie, but what turned out to be a big fist brawl with my head.

“Hey watch it!” I said pulling her away before any real damage was done.

“Ew, your hair is wet” she said snob-ish like.

“Well then I’ll go continue to dry it” and I stalked off, not wanting to see my beast of a sister anyway.

“Summer! Come back and greet our guest!” I heard my mom call. I thought she meant Rachel, but boy was I wrong. After I was done drying my hair I went into my room to pack my things. After I was all dressed and ready I hulled my suitcase down the stairs. What I saw shocked me even more then Rachel’s hair. Even more then when I found out Serena killed someone in Gossip Girl, season 2. A boy was standing in the middle of the living room. He wasn’t really a boy, more like a teenager that’s a grown up because he was older then 18. My suitcase dropped onto the floor and the guy looked in my direction. I gulped, ready to ask the question I knew the answer to but I was afraid of.

“Are you Rachel’s boyfriend?” I asked nervously. He laughed. I noticed he was cute, like a little boy cute.

“As a matter of fact I