I fell in love for the first time, lost my virginity and was dumped. please read?

Question

So without going into too much of details, I met someone and he had a girlfriend for one year when we met. I didnt think anything would happen with us, so I didnt mind that he had just gotten out of a relationship. I ended up falling hard. Ive hooked up with countless guys, never have I felt this way. Its funny because before I met him, I CLEARLY remember thinking to myself i have never cried over a guy before. I used to always think i could never have a serious boyfriend because I wouldnt remain faithful, im that kind of girl: the flirt. And no guy ever made me feel like he was the only one that mattered. I have NO urge to even look at another guy. I only knew him for a little more than one month, and I know it sounds very soon, but we were together almost all the time and when we werent, we were always talking. I lost my virginity to him, I had to take plan b and i even got a uti because of him. He knew he was my first, and after we had sex for the first time we were at a gathering and he pulled me away from everyone and grabbed my face looked into my eyes and told me "its going to sound crazy but i think im begininning to fall in love with you". No boy has ever even close to saying that to me and I honestly had this constant feeling i would melt in his presence. He is not the hottest guy ive been with, or the smartest, or the funniest, but something about him drew me to him like light to a fly. Well, all of a sudden one day I get a message from him saying hes not ready to be boyfriend girlfriend, because he doesnt think its fair to me because he isnt completely over his ex, but assured me that he has had no contact with her and that this is so "we" can work. I was upset and there were so many signs, but I ignored them and after every mistake/asshole thing he did, I forgave him because i couldnt bear not having him. After that, slowly, he stopped texting/calling me as much and when the weekend rolled around he ditched me for his friends. Take into consideration he ALWAYS wanted to be with me and had so much effort into me and then all of a sudden he stopped. I confronted him and he sort of just beat around the bush and i pushed it to the side and let it go. I began being the one to text him and call him first and ask him to hangout. Well finally I confronted him again and he told me he was "confused because he started to talking to his ex again" then all of a sudden he said maybe we shouldnt keep hanging out i think i want her back. What the hell. You cant go from telling a girl your falling in love with her, to completely tossing her to the side. I have never fallen for someone and i have never been dumped. Im the one who dumps guys or if anything its mutual and it doesnt bother me. I havent talked to him in 5 days and i know he isnt going to talk to me. I dont know what to do. The way our conversation ended was that its over and "we" are not ever happening again. He loves his ex. period. Well back to my previous statement of "i never have cried over a guy", guess again...I bawl at the site of anything. I want to text him so bad right now and just say "i want you back" but it wont matter, he CHOSE HER. not me. 

Thank you for reading this haha I know i sound like a drama queen. This is all so new to me and I honestly feel numb inside and i havent been able to focus on school, or my friends, or anything. Thank you.

. · Accepted Answer

I've read countless stories about people's break ups on this site, and yours has to be one of the most heart breaking, depressing ones I've read. Hey, it's good to vent about your pain... I'm glad you didn't bottle it inside because that just makes the crying last longer...

I don't really know what to say... That sounds painful. It's like this stinging, restless pain in the pit of your stomach, isn't it? And every little reminder makes you want to cry...

All I can say is to keep your distance. Don't text him, don't say anything to him, avoid eye contact if you ever see him... Be strong... because if he sees that you're over him, he'll accept it for a while but then he might start thinking about you again. It doesn't matter how much he ignores you, unless he's completely ice cold, no one can eliminate all their feelings for someone, they'll always be there. One day he'll realize that he had a good thing going for him but he was too blind to see it. It's all a matter of time. 

But the question is, after someone caused you so much pain, would you really want to give them another chance?

? · Answer

well, i didnt even have to read the whole thing.  Point is, he didnt love you.  I know it sounds harsh, but look at it this way, if you would have stayed together longer, it would have been even harder. DONT CALL HIM, OR EVEN TALK TO HIM!!!!! Im a guy and ive been with my beautiful little poop head for about a year.  Youll find the right guy one day.  Dont be upset, there really is a right one for everyone.  Me and my gf were both like you when we met, and now our lives are so much better.

The real thing is definitely worth the wait.  
Be happy! You have a better idea of the meaning of love! Not everyone does. Thats why you deserve better.  Also, dont have sex with shitty people. Just for future reference.
Youll be fine : )

Anonymous · Answer

For one you arent a drama queen, you gave your heart to someone that turned out the be an asshole.  Dont feel bad or sad for shi*tt*y people like that.  He says he wasnt over his ex but his dirty **** had sex with you.  Lying bastard.  F*U*C*K him straight up.  Dont try to contact him and if he tries to contact you dont write anything back.  I made the mistake of trying to get back a bi*t*c*h and it was a total let down all over again.  It doesnt feel like it know but your better off by yourself than having that piece of s*h*it with you.  Another thing Ive learned when a girl/boy keep talking about their ex that means their not over them so they want to use you or me as their cruch until their ex takes them back.  You didnt do anything wrong and sh*tty people like him will make you think you did wrong and will make you feel bad inside like you dont even want to eat.  But at the end these people are phony and only a pretty shell on the outside but a dirty empty spider webbed filled space.  Forget him you can and will find better in time.  Ive been there too it hurts and the people who you loved and gave your all too disappear like you never meant anything to them.  You will find someone who will treat you right everyone does at one time of their life.

Anonymous · Answer

From personal experience, I can honestly say I know exactly how you feel. I met this guy and fell hard for him, he told me he liked me and I slept with him, he was my first. After that he ended up dating my best friend who he said he loved.

Your not being a drama queen in my opinion, your being human.This guy is an asshole for even putting you through this, try telling him how he has hurt you but don't expect anything to come from it, it sounds like it is definitely over in his mind. You can't help how you feel about him but you can do things to help you get over him. Go for a walk, talk to your friends, hang out with your family or really concentrate on schoolwork. It will be hard at first but things will eventually get easier.

This is probably going to have to be a 'time heals all' situation.

Anonymous · Answer

it sux doesnt it? someone getting your heart and just breaking it into pieces. i had the same experience except his ex tolde me they were back togehter and would rub everything on my face of the things they would do. To make mattera worst, she got pregnant a month later. The best advice i can give you is just to hold on. you'll find a better guy later on in the future, i guy that TRULY loves you and will only have eyes for you...i know i did....it took  about three years but u did find someone else!
HOPE THIS HELPS!!!

♥ misschels ♥ · Answer

He obviously doesn't care, and I don't blame him by the looks of this long drawn out drama queen affiliated story. Get over it.

Kelsey · Answer

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I fell in love for the first time, lost my virginity and was dumped. please read?

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