How come people don't understand that it's not "just a word"?

Question

I was getting a little fed up with a bunch of kids in my classes today at school using the words: Gay, f*g, f*ggot, and homo to describe something they don't like. I'm about to pop some heads at this point. So I asked them nicely (almost the entire homophobic football team in one history class, ugh) to please stop using that word to describe something they don't like because it's offensive to me and other people as well. Their response was the one I usually get from people, "I don't understand why it's so offensive. I mean, it's just a word."

The word f*g became associated with gay people during the times when it was still legal to burn somebody alive at the stake for being different than everybody else (Wiccan lifestyle, being gay, etc.). The word has been used to discriminate against an entire race of people that have a different sexual orientation. So, if it's okay to call someone a f*g, then doesn't that mean it's also socially acceptable to call something or someone you don't like a n*****, regardless of their skin tone? If saying one word that is meant to discriminate is okay to say, then doesn't that mean any other word that is meant to discriminate is okay to say as well? Think about it. In a country where racism is viewed with such distaste, how come homophobia is so widely accepted?

I was talking with someone else about these idiots, and he said, "It's not really used to discriminate against homosexuals anymore. Calling someone gay is just a synonym for stupid, these days. Same with retard." Here's the thing about that though. When you meet a stupid person (that doesn't do drugs), you wonder if they have a learning disability like ADHD or something, but instead of calling them a ritalin kid, you might call them a retard. But you would most-likely never say the word retard around someone who is actually mentally challenged. Why not? Because it's common courtesy. You know they're handicapped, and you wouldn't want to offend them by using that word, right? Well, it's not always common knowledge who is gay and who isn't, so wouldn't you use that same common courtesy so as not to offend someone who is in the LGBT community, and just might happen to be offended by the use of discriminating words.

Not only that, but it shows extremely bad grammer. Gay is a noun or a verb, yet people confuse it with an adjective. How in the hell can anyone who does that be taken seriously? Thank god none of the jocks are ever taken seriously. If these jocks had to spend a month in a gay person's shoes, and see the ridicule that some have to deal with on a daily basis, how some are treated by even their own parents (some of which disown their own children), they would think twice before ever saying that word again.

What are your thoughts? If it's socially acceptable to call someone a f*g without thinking twice, doesn't that also mean someone can say n***** without thinking twice, and call someone who is mentally handicapped a retard?

friendlyadvice · Accepted Answer

Thank goodness there are people like you in this world.  No, I don't mean your sexual orientation.  I mean people who are willing to speak up when they hear ignorance; people who are willing to challenge widely held ideas.  

It is ignorant to call someone a hurtful name.  It's never acceptable to use words that are inflammatory.  Both the n word and the f*g fall into that category.  I think those who do the name calling are hurting inside and want to lash out at someone else.  Keep in mind that one or more of those jocks may be gay and are so in denial about that or are so anxious to hide that that they will join in the name-calling and the taunting of others who are gay.  I have always thought that those who resort to name calling come across as uneducated and inarticulate.  If they took the time to understand the thing or the person that they want to call gay or retarded, they probably would never feel the need to use those words; they would understand how inadequate a name or phrase is to describe what they don't understand or don't approve of.

Keep up the courageous work of pointing out ignorance even when you are condemned for it.

~Nicolas · Answer

First off I'd like to say that you got some real guts to say something like that to the whole homophobic football team. I'll admit it, I wouldn't have been brave enough to do it.

My thoughts on the subject is just like the old "Sticks and Stones" saying. Words only have power if you give it to them. Gay, ******, homo. All of those are just words. My advice is to just ignore them. Unless you're planning on using force to stop those assholes from saying things like that, theres not much you can do. Sorry, but thats just how it is.

Stay strong and stay brave though. I'm glad you're trying to make a change. I do think that if more LGBT voiced they're opinions like you do, we could make a difference.

Gerthie · Answer

I agree with you 100%. In my school everyone uses the words gay and f*g for something they don't like. It's not a word, it's more than that, and people don't seem to see that. We don't say "Straight" for something we don't like. We don't use the n word for anything bad. :/ I think it's wrong to call things those words. They should realize what they use those words can be really offensive, they should see that. If when they have kids and they say that, it'll offense them a lot, and they should think they were gays. :/ They should think before they say that word.

justwant2B_better · Answer

I don't have anything against anyone and I completely agree that no one should be discriminated against.  Although, I have to say your wrong when trying to compare someone being gay to someone of a different race.  Being gay whether you agree or not is a choice! Being of a certain race, or gender is not! That is god given.  Being gay is a choice....it is a right but, also a choice....just like the clothes you may choose to wear in the morning. It doesn't define who you are but, you are defined by your gender or race so i can't agree with you on this.  Calling someone the "N" word is completely wrong because, it's a derogatory word used to disrespect a race which is something you CANT CHANGE!!!!!!

Anonymous · Answer

Your courage is exemplary and your reasoning is exact.  I've reported two other answerers of this question for abusive use of the f@g-word, and I will continue, following your example, to denounce and challenge those who use it and "gay" pejoratively, just as I do those who use the "n"- word and "retard" as slurs.  I find, as you apparently do, that those jocks, ignoramuses, and bare-foot girls in flour sack dresses, when called summarily to account for their vulgar disparagement of whole classes of people, will most often submit meekly enough to the reproof I inflict on them--and those who don't I take great pleasure in shouting down vituperatively.

? · Answer

The last point you make is just what I would say to them. Just be like, "oh so that means I can call a black person a ____, because it's just a word, right?" Then I'm sure they'll say something like..."Oh well that's different." Then ask them how it's different and I'm pretty sure they won't have a good comeback, because it's NOT different.

Questioner ? · Answer

It is not society these days is just ignorant and doesnt think before they speak and are ignorant and uneducated and dont know that does words were created to offend the homosexual community 

I really hope this ends because its annoying and plain rude that people think they can use those words freely without taking the time to think about it that they might be offending people

MSB · Answer

Words are arbitrary.

They only hold the meaning we assign them, they only have the power that we give them. 

Obviously this is a word that holds a deeper meaning and power to you.

It does not hold the same meaning and power to others. 

You might not like it, but it's not something you'll be able to change and is best you learn how to live with it.

Zoya (Bisquick, zombi cola) · Answer

i agree with you completely

Anonymous · Answer

dont get your panties in a wad.

fag and gay have become synonymous with "stupid" and "retarded" now. They werent using it offensively. Get over it.

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How come people don't understand that it's not "just a word"?

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