Farting while at the mall?

Oh I totally F.A.S. ("Fart As Needed") in that situation. By the time anyone would suspect anything, I'd be long gone. Plus, the mall does have a ventilation system, so it's not like the smell would stick around long. If I hold it in, I'll just stink up my car on the way home. No reason to do that, ha ha.

Oh yeah! If there aren't too many people near me then I just let them out, loud and proud, but if there are people in close proximity then I'll try and be discreet, although sometimes it fails dismally as I have to get my **** cheeks at such an angle to avoid a noise that there's no mistaking what I'm up to.

why do people get uptight about farts? They are funny! enjoy them.... make fun of the sound they make, tease one another about the smell (Whoa! - did you eat cabbage?)

Crop-dust the mall and kill all the fly's hanging out at the food court.

Try to play "Unum saltum et siffletum et unum bumbulum" Like King George loved to hear...

I wish I was there to hear them. Farts make people laugh, A lot of people laugh at their own farts. Don't you?

when I was at JC pennys at the mall I was around other people and I had to fart so I farted I did not think it would come out loud but it did. so embaressed.

Eat three crackers and 1 tall glass of water.

That was You I thought it was me.

Men fart so they do not need to scratch the butt

Depends whether I remember. I usually let them off discreetly and walk away.

don't worry about it. my wife farts anytime or place she needs to [ except at restaurants ] .

This is the story of my life!