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I need the answer- Why do i love him?
My question is one a lot of people ask me and I can't answer, 'Why do i love him?'
My boyfriend is Jealous, Possessive, Angry and Domineering, When we're out anywhere he holds on to me so tight and hates it when i'm out of his sight, but all i know is i love him so much my heart almost explodes when we're apart. I just love him.
But he hates my friends and they hate him, he is rude to everyone especially strangers. People even think that he must be abusive towards me but he's not, he never would.
my latest example is tonight we went to see the movie Titan. we were sitting next to 3 very friendly older women, they turned to us and asked had we seen the original movie but before i could answer my boyfriend grunted and said 'is there anywhere a person can go and won't be bothered' the look on the womens faces made my insides sink. I looked at them and smiled and said he had a bad day at work and answered their question.He hated that i spoke to them, i was there with him. I met these ladies in the bathroom after and they advised me that if a young man was like this in his 20's, he was only going to get worse!
He just wants it to be us. he has no friends, except for his older brother.
I love him so so much but for the first time tonight the sinking feeling i felt made me see what others have been telling me. And i have this unsettling feeling after what those ladies said. Will things get worse? Why do i love him? Can our relationship work?
(Note: I'm 25. He's 29 and we've been together for over a year and right now i'm crying my heart out for even thinking these thoughts. but i can't turn to my friends because they will just tell me to dump him. I'm alone with my problem.)
Just to add, when we're alone he makes me feel so special, when we're out he's so attentive he randomly takes a picture of me on his phone because he says he wants to remember every smile. We lie together for hours just laughing or saying nothing. He goes out of his way for me, he doesn't like when i'm alone because he worries.
He doesn't mind me meeting up with my friends, he just doesn't want to come along, he just really isn't a people person and when he's around others hes a different person. He's so rude and angry and just wants to get away.
He has met my mother and although he was very uncomfortable he made polite conversation for the whole evening. she just thinks he's quite and hasn't much to say.
We plan to move in together and i think he may be the one, but i have to be prepared to be the girl who always goes alone to weddings, parties etc because otherwise people think i'm an innocent fool with an abusive boyfriend, when they couldn't be further from the truth!
4 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
my idea of love is being happy and loving everything about the person you are with wort's and all.
It is a bit strange that he doesn't have any friends and I think that might be why he clings to you so much, he is scared that you will leave him and if you do he will lose the only person he has. It is not healthy to put all your hope in one person, everyone needs friends.
If you want it to work you could introduce him to like minded people or if you want to start things slow encourage him to meet people online of meet people together and make friends as a couple. This may help things but it will take time and patience and its up to you to decide whether its worth it.
and don't beat yourself up for thinking this way I think I would be the same in your situation.
good luck
x
- 1 decade ago
Well i assume he does sweet things, and makes you feel loved, because if he doesn't then 1) it doesn't make sense why you love him, and 2) you should DEFINATELY dump him. When your dating a person, it's easy for others to say you need to dump him because they see one side of him, but you may see another. When it's just you and him, he may be this sweet, loving, caring person who makes you feel loved, and wanted, and important and so much more. However, your at an age when it's not just dating anymore. This isn't just another highschool boyfriend... your nearing an age when many people get married. What you need to think about, is if this is someone your proud to date. Is he somebody you'd be excited to take to meet your parents, or would you be scared the whole time that he'd insult them or make a fool out of you. Would you feel comfortable taking him to a work party or something where he'd be meeting important people in your life.
it sounds to me like you love him when it's just you and him, and thats what you think of when you think of him, but now your seeing this other side of him that everybody else has been seeing, and to be honest.... soon enough you'll get sick of it and find that it's best for you to leave him.
I hope this helped.
Source(s): my boyfriend can be weird sometimes. he's not always the most socially acceptable boy, however, he doesn't have a mean bone in his body. he's incredibly polite, and i had no problem bringing him home to my parents because i was proud to date him. He's alway sweet to me, and brings me to go hang out with his friends, and although he's super shy when he meets my friends, he's the nicest guy in the world. He makes me feel special, and he's really the most genuine boy i've ever met. Theres more like him out there, go find one, and dont settle for this guy your with. - 1 decade ago
- the REAL© truthLv 51 decade ago
the reason why you "love" him is simple
you really don't understand what love is...and until you do you'll always get hurt and pick the wrong guys