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My girlfriend might have issues... and I don't know what to do, please help?

Ok, this one's a little long, but please bear with me:

About five months back I started dating this new girl named Barbara, she's a few years older than me, I'm 18, she's 25. I know it's kinda odd for a guy to be dating an older girl, but girls my age just tend to bore me; not Barbara though, from the beginning I felt like I had a real connection to her, like she really understood me. I could talk to her about just about anything, and we had so much in common.

She was always a little possessive of me, you know, I didn't mind though, I actually kinda liked it, made me feel loved wanted, and gave me that warm fuzzy feeling inside.

Well, maybe I should have paid more attention to that, last week I got a text message from an old female classmate who I haven’t seen in ages (not a childhood sweetheart or anything) who was back in town, and she invited me over for lunch this past Wednesday (which I canceled, for reasons that will become clear after you finish reading this).

Anyways, Barbara saw the message when I was at her place on Saturday, AND SHE JUST WENT BERSERK, she came running at me, pinned me against the wall, grabbed my arms, and started shaking me and yelling in my face, and this is almost an exact quote of what she said:

'HOW DARE YOU? F*****G ANOTHER GIRL BESIDES ME? YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE S**T! YOU’RE MINE! MINE! MINE! I’M THE ONLY C**T YOU F***! UNDERSTAND?’

Yeah, it was that bad. I tried to explain to her what was going on, but she didn’t’ believe me. And it got worst; she beat me up, wasn’t too painful, but she left marks on my chest and I think she was holding back (A LOT), she broke my cell in half with her bare hands, and forced me to stay the night saying she wouldn’t let me run off with that 'little tramp' (she locked the door and hid the keys). I was kinda freaked out by this point, but luckily she didn’t do anything else.

And next morning she was just back to her usual friendly, caring self she pulled me aside and was like “I know you’re a good boy, but you made me very angry last night. But it’s ok, I’m better now. Just don’t cheat on me again, alright? Or next time, I’ll have to really punish you.”

Then she just pecked me in the mouth like nothing ever happened. Ok, for the record, I really loved Barbara, and though it may sound odd, I still do, but she is freaking me out, man. And I shudder to think of what she meant by ‘really punishing me’.

What should I do? Any advice at all would be useful right now, because I’m completely stumped.

6 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    RUN!

    This woman's issues are more than you can handle and you should not be dealing with someone that would inflict pain on you to prove her invaild point. You have to get out before this woman decides that you need punishment. That is just scary, The hard thing is going to be getting rid of her. I knew a guy that was with a girl like this and it took him years and countless calls to the police department to finally get rid of her. Do you really want to end up with someone that would hit you, and then later if she gets pregnant treats your children like this? I f I were you, I would leave as nicely as you can and find someone that you can have a healthy relationship. I hope you do the best thing for yourself.

    Good Luck.

    P.S. Take a listen to the voice messages on this site from a man who dealt with someone just like the woman you are describing.

    http://scherle.com/psychoexgirlfriend/

  • 1 decade ago

    Dude, she needs some serious help fron medical professionals and most likely drugs. If I were you I'd be running, but I realize you want to stay. She needs to know that she;s being crazy and you're not cool with that. It may hurt her feelings but it's absolutely neccesary! You said she was holding back during the violence, imagine if she didn't the next time;and yes there will be a next time and another and another... This could go bad in so many sad, destructive ways. This woman may be attractive and loving but shes also paranoid and violent. If you don't leave, this will get worse. There is not a doubt in my mind. If you must stay, advise her to seek medical help, remind her that you're trustworthy and care about her but will interact with other females platonically. If she refuses help and to accept/trust you, you absolutely must go or you will find out what she meant by "really punish you". GOOD LUCK!

  • 1 decade ago

    I would assume that there is a lot meaning behind her actions and I think it would also be safe to assume that she is mentally ill. From what you have described, one possible diagnosis is Borderline Personality Disorder http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personalit... why don’t you read more about some of the signs and symptoms. You are probably going to get a lot of comments about how you should dump her. That doesn’t matter because you will have to figure out how to handle that situation yourself. I think at this point your relationship there is room for it to get a lot scarier, it may be wise to consider a safety plan even.

    Source(s): I'm a Social Worker
  • Rick
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    MOVE WITH NO FORWARDING ADDRESS.

    She was very emotionally demolished by someone cheating on her. Now she does not trust a man and even hallucinates about cheating. Her condition is out of your ability to control.

    You cannot trust her mind. You could wind up with nothing to cheat with.

    There is a rare mental disorder that affects a very few women. Any woman with this illness has a 100% chance of killing a man in her lifetime.

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  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    4 days is sufficient to be keen on maximum women people. there are various contributing factors, inspite of the incontrovertible fact that: How long is her cycle commonly? count huge sort from the 1st day of her era, so the 1st day is Day a million and the day in the previous her next era is Day X (it fairly is approximately 28 for many women people, inspite of the undeniable fact that it could variety from approximately 17 to 35 days). Is she often usual or does she swing from 17-day cycles to 35-day cycles? examine her calendar together with her and notice the development. Has she been below any rigidity at present? Has she used any birth control at present? Hormonal contraceptives can mess with our platforms. Has she lost or gained any weight? Does she workout plenty? If uncertain, do a being pregnant try - they are able to be offered affordably and the faster you recognize, the greater time you need to coach and view all your recommendations.

  • 1 decade ago

    This woman has shown her first small signs of aggression and insanity to you. This woman has more than just issues and you are way to young to die! Change your number and maybe move to a new address. This woman will hunt you down and harm others physically or mentally if you don't protect yourself. She will do everything she can to make your life bad because she is miserable and she will always be miserable. Just leave quietly and never speak to her again.

    Source(s): I live in California. Women are nuts here
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