Do you know a good riddle or joke?Best Answer Wins...but of course...?

he teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just pitches a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that !!!!

The teenager tells her, "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rosebuds show!" and out she goes.

The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on, With her old wrinkled pair on show. The teenager wants to die.

She explains to her Grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it just is not appropriate .....

The grandmother says, "Loosen up Sweetie. If you can shown off your rosebuds, then I can display my hanging baskets."

a million. I easily have in my hand 2 U.S. funds which complete fifty 5 cents in value. One coin isn't a nickel. Please undergo this in recommendations. What are the money? answer: A 50 cent piece and a nickel 2. A farmer had 17 sheep. All yet 9 died. what percentage did he have left? answer: 9 3. 2 men play checkers. They play 5 video games and each guy wins 5 video games. there have been no ties. How can this be? answer: They performed human beings 4. Take 2 apples from 3 apples and what do you've? answer: 2 Apples 5. An archeologist claimed he got here across some gold funds dated 40 six BC. Do you imagine he quite got here round the money? answer: No, because Christ wasn't born even as the money were made 6. a woman provides a beggar 50 cents. the lady is the beggar's sister, in spite of the undeniable fact that the beggar isn't the lady's brother. How come? answer: The beggar is a woman 7. what percentage animals of each species did Moses take aboard the ark? answer: None; Noah took them on the ark 8. Is it legal in Tennessee for a guy to marry his widow's sister? answer: No, you may not marry a lifeless man or woman 9. What note is mispelled in this try? answer: Misspelled

I'm gonna go with riddles cos I think they're fun! Not sure if you want answers too?

1) What is so fragile that when you say it's name you break it?

2) Forward I am heavy, backwards I am not. What am I?

I have to be politically correct:

Two ethnic men get a job at a sawmill. Pat says to Mike "Oops, I just lost a finger!" Mike says "How did you do that?"

Pat says "I just tried to grab this piece of wood, like this....oops, there goes another one!"

how about some cheesy classic "yo momma" Joke.

Your momma so fat when she seen the yellow school bus go bye she said "where that twinkie!!"

hehe.

long cheesy joke. (=

Mikey was in a strict cathlic school for boys.

One day the teacher asked him do you know your alphebet?

Mikey said no. So the teacher told him to go home and learn it, so he can recite it in class the next day.That evening Mikey got a pencil and a pad. He first went to his brother. He asked whats the first letter of the alphebet? His brother replyed NOT NOW! So little Mikey wrote down not now on his tablet. Then he went to his father who was watcghing foot ball and asked whats the second letter of the alphebet? His father paid no attention then stood up yellling forty niners forty niners!! so mikey wrote that down on his pad. Then he went to his sister who was listening to brittany spears. He asked whats the 3rd letter of the alphebet. She had her headphones in and didnt hear him so she sung out hit me baby one more time. So of course little Mikey wrote down Hit me baby one more time on his little pad. Then he went to his mother and asked whats the 4th letter of the alphebet? She was cooking hamberger buns. She then looked over and noticed they were burning so she yelled my buns are burning my buns are burning. So then Little mikey wrote down my buns are burning on his note pad.

The next day at school his teacher aked him if he knew his alphebet and he said not now! So the teacher sent him to the principle. The principle then asked what did you do Mikey, and Mikey then said Not now! Thats when the princible took out his paddle and said how many times should i spank you? Then little Mikey said forty niners forty niners. so the princible spanked him 49 times. Then when he was done said did you learn your lesson? So little mikey said hit me baby one more time. So the princible spanked him on more time. Then when he was done Mikey said My Buns are burning my buns are burnin!!! =)

your daddy's so ugly he looks like the elephant man chewing on a wasp

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Alpha

Alpha who?

Alpha Q

(YOU) ... SH&T!!!!!!! EWWWHHHH! WTF IS THAT THING ON YOUR NECK??!!!

(person).. what? what is it! get it off!!

(YOU) EWWHH NO IT'S SO DICUSTING!!!! EWWWHH..etc Wait...i'll get it off.

(try to pull head off) OH no wait I can't.

(Person) Why!?

It's your head.

that's what she said

._.