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Was it wrong to ask my boyfriend about my body?
I've been dating my boyfriend Ryan since June of 2009. When I met him, I weighed less and I was more fit. Since then, I gained weight, but I've been working to lose it again and I'm working out regularly. Last night I asked him what he thought about my body. He said that I've gained weight. It's just a fact, it was the truth, but it was really hard to hear. I have body insecurities, just like most females.
Should I just not have asked him about my body? If I knew what the answer might be, should I keep those thoughts to myself? I want to have open communication about what I'm working on, but I didn't expect that I would feel betrayed and hurt. It's not that I'm mad at him really, just confused. If something is bothering you, is it better to just not talk about it?
I've been dealing with depression since my teenage years and I have seen several therapists as well. I've been on anti-depressants for the past 2 years and they work well.
In the past, I have had boyfriends that have been rather nasty and rude in that they made negative comments about my appearance. I know that I have a pattern of picking the guys that are blunt and "tell it like it is" types. Should I just expect to hear the truth and brace for it? Or not talk about the issue? Or, explain everything to him and hope for the best.....
7 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
The feeling will pass...ask him if he thinks any less of you or thinks your less hot or cute...i guarantee he really doesn't care if he loves you. :)
- Anonymous1 decade ago
To me there is no problem, because you are trying to lose weight..and your bf can probably recognize this effort too. If on the other hand you were gaining weight and then eating huge amounts of unhealthy foods etc, then there would be a problem, but you are not. Also before you ask him a question, make sure you are prepared to hear an honest answer (because obviously this is better than him just lying to you and saying you are no different when you are). it sounds like he just answered honestly but he may not even be that concerned, so don't worry about it.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Well in my personal opinion it wasn't wrong of you to ask.
But if you knew that you had gained weight, then whats the point of asking?
And im glad your not mad at him because he's just answering an honest question.
I mean a lot of us ask people if we're fat and expecting them to say "no of course not"
Maybe instead of asking that question you could just tell him that you feel kinda bad that you gained so much weight but are working really hard to put it off and how that its kinda frustrating... and so on.
But im sure he's a great boyfriend and he loves you no matter what. :D
- 1 decade ago
It's not an issue or problem for me if I ask about my figure to my boyfriend and yeah it's important to hear his opinion about how I look but I won't really get hurt unless he's honest enough to tell or assure me that he still do love me no matter how I look.
Just don't be afraid to be more open about how you feel about it and talk with me but personally if I were on your shoe, I won't make it an issue really.
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- 1 decade ago
It was a good idea to get his opinion, and for him to say that means you guys can communicate with eachother truthfully therefore continue to expand your ideas upon what your working on with him. Maybe even if u ask him, he'll work out with you!
- 1 decade ago
NO ! you and your guy pal should be close enough to tell each other everything... he should be your best friend , lover, care-taker... it should be like talking to one of your best girlfriends but the only difference is you can be intimate .
- 1 decade ago
you asked and you got the truth and now you r hurt lol yeah i'd say if you wanted a lie to ask a fag or a girl friend
