What is a nice way to tell people they aren't invited to the wedding?

Just say We are getting married out of the country. And it will be a private destination wedding in my hometown in Puerto Rico.

The phrases 'private,' 'out of the country' and 'destination wedding' alone says it all. The majority of people can not attend a destination wedding anyway for a variety of reasons...ranging from the travel/accommodations expenses to the kids having school or activities they can't possibility miss.

But if you are having a reception near them (and if they will be invited to that) be sure to mention it at that point to them so they don't think they are completely excluded.

Say apologetically, "I wish I could invite every single person I know, but I have (take your pick or any/all of the following) a large family tanking most of the guest list, a small venue, a small budget". Hope they understand. Most people do know that weddings are expensive. However, I have a sneaking suspicion that anyone asking what they should wear to a wedding before they are actually invited may not understand the meaning of being mannerly. Offer what you can with a smile and an apology, but never say something like, "It's in PR and I know it would be an expense for guests" because that opens it up to allowing the friend to say they don;t mind paying.

Simply state that you are having a smaller family ceremony and tell others about the receptions that you are planning if they are going to be invited to the other reception(s). That way, they'll know that you're planning to include them in the other reception(s).

I know what you mean. Luckily all of the people that have said things like that to me are actually going to be invited. I'm just waiting for it though. First off, its rude of them to assume that they would be invited. You're just going to have to politely explain that you have a limit to the number of people you can invite and they didn't make the list. Its really their fault for assuming in the first place. We all know what assuming does...makes an *** out of U and ME

If someone flat-out asks you what they should wear to the wedding, or if they are invited, simply say, in your nicest voice, "I'm sorry, we're actually have a really small wedding and we weren't able to invite everyone that we wanted. But we're going to have a little open house in May, and I hope you can make it to that."

Um, first off, it is rude of someone to simply assume they are invited. It is NOT rude of you to let them know that you're having a smaller wedding and couldn't invite everyone you'd like to.

You just simply cant afford to take every1 and as much as you would like them there you have to be practical with your budget, hope it works.x

As much as you would like to have everyone you know there it is impossible budget wise

xox

How about sending everybody a roster:

Puerto Rico

{list of names}

Mom and Dad's House

{list of names}

Brother's House

{list of names}

Best Friend's House

{list of names}

Dance Club Where the Couple Met

{list of names}

That way, everybody can see it right in front of them.

"we chose to have small family wedding, we want an intimate affair with immediate family only"

Good luck