For those of you that are in unhappy marriages?

A lot of things would need to change. First off we would need to communicate again. We would need intimacy (more than 3 times a year). I would need to be able to have my family visit me. We would need to have a common goal again. etc. etc. etc.

What would make me happy? That he would let me judge him by the standards that he judges others by. In other words, the "Double Standard" is alive and well in my house.

For example: Affairs are wrong. We can all agree with that. But what he calls "an internet friendship" is what most people would call an affair. You see, he exchanges sexual IM's and has a secret (he still thinks...) email account. Right now, I'm in the "monitoring and collecting information" phase. He's done this sort of thing before, and knows how I feel about it, and still chooses to do it. Yet, if I engaged in the same kind of behavior he is doing, he would say that I was cheating on him and would divorce me pronto.

So, that is what I would like to see happen. Let him live by his own standards: the standards he sets for others.

I am no longer in my miserable marriage, but what would have made me happier would be:

For him to lay off the porn

Not to criticise my clothes

Dont spend all our money on his hobby

I could go on and on, so to save the bother I got rid of the problem, now I am a happy woman, more confident, got a job, better social life etc.,

I booked a counselling session for myself today.

Either I do or she does, but I only have control over one, don't I?

Mine please:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AugP1...

or

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Annyr...

for me it would've been simply his priorities. all he cared about was himself, he didn't know how to provide for his kids/family first...

Jery E's got it, thats why I'm done with mine.

getting rid of this bullshlt monogamy thing for starters.