what do i do if my 15 yr old daughter and her 18 yr old boyfriend had sex?

So, I created an account just to answer this question, might as well.

I understand that you don't believe in premarital sex, and since I get the feeling that you're Catholic, I don't believe you're going to let her go on birth control pills.. I'm not sure what type of advice to give you, but I'll try anyway.

Going to the Church for counseling isn't going to be a good option. They are not trained in counseling, and honestly cannot do anything to change the fact she is not a virgin anymore. Praying may help you, and letting her go to confession may. I am not highly religious any more, but I know these are one of the few options that you probably will go for.

/Her/ best option, would be to go on birth control pills, since she's already had sex. Just consider it, please. You'd much rather you daughter be happy, healthy, and safe. Correct? Birth control has other benefits, such as helping your daughter's skin, helping her regulate her menstrual cycle and other things. Its not just a contraceptive. Also, talk to her about STDs/STIs, even if she has had a talk about them. Just make sure she knows about them.

If, you're still reading this, I do not think you should charge him of statutory rape. Yes, he had sex with a minor, but it seems to me that she was very willing. I do believe, like you, that his parents should be told, but taking into consideration of the language barrier and the fact that he is 18, I do not feel this would change anything.

Your daughter seems like she is a very smart woman, and does not seem like she will mess up her life. She seems very.. attached.. to this male, and I do not think she will become someone who frequently has sex, just to have it. I do not think her having him as a boyfriend, will mess up (Even though you ended their relationship) her school life, because she had him as a boyfriend before this happened, and nothing harmed her school life. Nor, did it harm her life.

What ever you choose to do, I wish you the best of luck. Just I advise you to check all of your options before jumping into one. What the church says and suggests, isn't necessarily the best bet for you. Not saying to completely ignore the church, but.. Just, take into consideration what would make you and your daughter the happiest.

Best of luck and I'm sorry if I offended you in any way,

Chrissy.

can you say statutory rape? The age of consent in Texas is 17 {Texas Penal Code Section 21.11}. However , "...It is an affirmative defense to prosecution under this section that the actor...was not more than three years older than the victim and of the opposite sex...(and) did not use duress, force, or a threat against the victim at the time of the offence" and is not a registered sex offender {Section 21.11(b)}. Section 21.12 further prohibits all sexual contact between an employee of a school (including educators)and a student enrolled at the primary or secondary school where said employee works. No age is specified by the statute (thus, even if the student has reached consent age of 17, it is still a violation), and violations are a second degree felony. ''Not all boys are heartless, sex-searching jerks ou know. A lot of them have to same views i do about intimacy.'' yeah and age 15 you know EVERYTHING about guys. All I know is, that when I was 18, I was not looking for a highschool girl to date, I was looking forward to college and started dating the girl who is now my fiancee. So when I hear about an 18 year old kid intrested in a 15 year old, all I see is him wanting sex.

I think all the people who are saying they wont read this are being immature. honestly you need to talk to your daughter about sex and have that talk. it may be hard but its scary when you dont have a mother to talk to. it is not legal for them to have sex at her age, she is not legally able to consent and they have more than a four year difference before she is 18 or if she is under the age of 16. tricking her was the wrong thing to do, but you do have to worry about her getting pregnant. i am 16 years old and i had a very older boyfriend and my parents looked the other way. i was dating a senior and i was i was 15. it all seemed great until i became pregnant, and than it all fell apart. you cant stop them from having sex but you can at least talk to her and give advice before it is to late. the relationship wont last forever or could become unhealthy if anything happens. charging him with a crime against her will only worsen things, i see you are very upset with the both of them but you breaking them apart will only make the relationship stronger. she seems like she needs to go on birth control and you need to let her because the sex is most likey going to continue. my advice is talk to her, let your guard down alittle, you have to remember even though im young and have no place saying this but her generation and yours have completelt different morals, and she doesnt see it as wrong. she needs her mother. sorry if i offended you in anyway, best of luck.

Realistically, there's not much you can do to stop your daughter having sex. She is her own person and will make her own decisions. I know it's hard when you want her to make different decisions that you approve of, but the older kids get the harder it gets to control them. You can deny that your daughter is going to have sex and hope you never find out she's pregnant or you can talk to her about birth control. Let her know that you don't approve of her having sex and you don't condone her having sex, but she needs to be responsible about it. Take her to the doctor to make sure she doesn't have any STDs/STIs and have the doctor talk to her about birth control options. You shouldn't pay for her birth control, let her know that it is her responsibility. (It's one thing to take her to the doctor, it's another to hand her a pack of condoms.) Tell her she isn't allowed to have sex in your house, her boyfriend isn't allowed in her room with the door closed, she isn't allowed to spend the night at his house, etc, etc. You should also talk about the emotional aspect of sex. That even if she is having sex with this boyfriend, it doesn't mean she has to have sex with other boyfriends. Sex creates a powerful bond with someone which can be great if your with the right person, but you don't want to have sex with someone who is manipulative/abusive/random. Also, talk to her about how she still needs to focus on school.

I know a mom who sent her 14 year old daughter's 18 year old boyfriend to jail for statutory rape. They did get married when she was 19. I'm not saying it's going to happen with your daughter, but there is a chance. And she could really resent you if you press charges. Teenagers are going to have sex. Yes, you don't want them to. But it sounds like she's with a guy you like (other this the sex part) and she's been with him for awhile in a long term relationship. Honestly, that is better than a lot of situations.

I think you partially brought this upon yourself. First off you should not trick your children into telling you information. this is deceitful and according to God a lie. You need to be completely honest with her and have her open up to you. You can't force information out of a 15 year old. Sorry it just does not happen. Maybe if you were a little more relaxed and open to the situation to begin with, she would not have been running around behind your back. She would have been more open to you and tell you her feelings. Anyways, that was the past let's move onto present time...

Honestly if I was 15 and my mom claimed rape against my bf I would have been furious. teenagers are of their own breed. You have to be completely honest with them to have them be honest with you in return. You need to have a women to women,sit down,polite,no arguing conversation about what each of you feel. Yall need to decide on a solution together or this situation is only going to get worse.

Firstly I am going to say you a a bit of a sicko and pervert for "checking her crouch" What kind of obsessive Christian are you or whatever you are!

There is nothing wrong with having sex before marriage. She should wait til the legal age first. In England it's 16 I am not sure what it is where you are.

I'm not reading that, but "checking her crotch" is not going to prove anything. Just because someone is a virgin doesn't mean they have an intact hymen. And I just find the idea of tricking someone so that you can look at their vagina insanely creepy.

This is not Dr. Phil tv show, can't read all that scripts.

If u can not control ur daughter like a parents should, don't make baby.

2 much 2 read.... but who the EFF cares? shes 15. in 1 more yr she can move out.... wit someone 18+ not alone :PPPP I no whart im talkin bout im 15 and theres not enuff room in my house so i am movin out on my 16th wit my friend who will be 19 then nd in canada legally there is a 5 yr age exemtpion law in canada so legal 15 and 20 yr old can have sex no bigie

What's done is done. She may not have the same belief system as you that sex should be saved for marriage. Why don't you talk to her about birth control since she obviously has had sex. Do you want her to be safe, or do you want her to get pregnant?