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How do I stop him breaking up with me (please answer, I'm desperate!)?
I've been with my boyfriend 3 and a half and lived with him for 2 and a half. We've always been sure we're going to be together forever and everything and said that to eachother. Recently I've been feeling bad in the relationship because when I draw his attention to things that are upsetting me he was just dismissing me or mocking me about it.
In the past couple of weeks I've been getting close to this other guy. I don't fancy him but didn't stop him from getting close to me even though he knows I had a boyfriend. The past couple of days I kept thinking about him but I don't even fancy him. I think really I'm just scared about being in the relationship like it is now and the situation made me think about that more.
Anyway, apparently my boyfriend was suspicious about something and read through my texts and found one from a friend alluding to this situation and asked questions about it and I was honest with him. Now he says he doesn't know if we can be together anymore.
In his view I've been cheating on him even though I haven't done anything with this guy. He doesn't know if he can trust me again. And he says he can't love me anymore.
We had a long conversation and when it came up I was asking if he was sure and we were definitely going to break up but he said he doesn't know and he just need to focus on his uni work and decide later. I don't know how to convince him that we can work this out. I'm 100% sure I want to be with him I just was having some problems and maybe this was a cry for help or something. I didn't realise how much this would hurt him and I just want to make everything ok again but have no idea how.
Sorry for how long this is, just trying to give you all the details
Yes he knows nothing happened and I've tried telling him nothing would. What I did was carry on spending time with someone else when I knew he liked me and I see that that's wrong but my boyfriend is the only one I care about. I was just acting stupidly and I didn't think about it properly. Now I know how much it's hurting him I can't believe I've done that to him.
He's always said he wants to marry me and everything. He said it before I felt the same way. We did have a talk and he said he was happy in the relationship and he thought it was really strong.
I was shocked because it seemed to me like he didn't like me very much recently. He said he didn't have any idea I felt unhappy. He just thought we were in love and completely stable and now it's all messed up.
He says I've taken away his whole life because I've taken away that feeling that he's secure in this relationship, even if we do stay together.
6 Answers
- 1 decade ago
Maybe you could sit and have a talk with him about what's going on. And be honest, let him know he can trust you. I think it's rude when a boyfriend looks through their girlfriends text messages, or vise versa, because it shows they can't trust you. You have to give him reasons to trust you. Me personally, I think its okay to have a friend who's a boy as long as you are just friends. Even if you want to be with him forever he may not feel the same about you so you kind of have to think about it from both sides, does he love you too or does he just need a break.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I'm sorry but I don't blame him for not trusting you. Yes technically you were not cheating but you thinking about another guy well you still had your boyfriend on the side. That's not fair to your boyfriend. And no you cannot stop him from breaking up with you.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
How are you getting close to another guy, and not stopping him from getting close to you, but you didn't cheat somehow? You say you didn't do anything with the guy..this doesn't make sense. You obviously cheated one way or another. Physically or emotionally, you cheated. I wouldn't trust you either if I were him. No offense but that's just life.
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- 1 decade ago
Did you tell him that NOTHING was 'going on' with you and this other guy?
That's a good place to start. He's being childish; you didn't do anything wrong and he is just insecure and probably pissed off because he thinks you are cheating.
- 1 decade ago
Give yourself a break, you have nothing to feel bad about, he needs to grow up. just give it time
