Teenage Girls: I messed up big time, I need your help?? (pretty long story)?

Question

we're both 17. we dated for a few months. i fell in love with her the moment i first kissed her forehead and held her in my arms, and told her everything will be alright when she fell ill. 

she is very hardworking. very very into her schoolwork, not like most girls, and under lots of pressure.
our relationship was short, but we had lots of fun together. i never told her that i loved her. i could feel that part of her loved me too. i showed her kindness, i bought little surprises for her, i wrote her a poem, flattered her at every chance... 
we never had sex though. we did stuff, sure... but i didn't want a relationship based only on that. she was thankful that i didn't.

we broke up after a series of "mock" trial exams, which i did fairly well in while she got very stressed and did badly. she said to me she couldnt hold a relationship in our school, but that she really wanted us to stay friends. she later wrote to me, saying "i'll miss you. i always will". 
a week after we broke up it was my birthday. she sent a card, wishing me happy birthday and saying "with love, forever and always". 
over the holidays, when we had to prepare for big exams, she was very stressed with work. foolishly, i finally told (by text... stupid, i know) her i was hopelessly, madly in love with her. i asked her if part of her felt the same. she replied "ezio, i dont have time for this, im so busy revising! .of course part of me feels the same but i would rather just focus on my schoolwork". i kept texting her for a few days, which was also v stupid cuz she never replied, because she was under loads of stress (the easter holidays are basically the revision holidays for kids here in england... very stressful and frustrating)... i sent another text a few weeks later when the holidays were over, and she said "im really struggling here with work. i may see you after my stress with the exams. please stop texting me Ezio, i really cant handle it any more. please can we just be friends for now". 

lately, things took a turn for the worst... I received some bad news on monday, and I let my heart get to my head. I texted her once more, telling her that I couldn't keep living like this, and (really, really stupidly...) I said "in a few days my mother will be planning a funeral... I'm sorry Angela". I didnt tell her exactly what happened, and I don't want to say it on here... but i came very close to ending my own life; i have been enduring pain these last few years (she knows this), and was contemplating giving up.. she got very upset when she read the text, and that's when i realised what i had done and thought i had screwed up any chance of being with her again. 

Things brightened up. I went to a psychiatrist, a very understanding and intelligent man. I told him what I had done, and how scared i was of losing her because of a reckless decision. he told me not to worry, and that provided i leave her alone for several weeks now until the exams are over, there is a good chance she will come back...

i know most of you will feel angry, sad or shocked reading this, and tell me to move on. that is the one thing i can't do. sure, i could go out and find someone else... but ive tried that already. she doesn't get much attention from guys, especially not romantic attention... she once said she couldn't understand why "you're really hot, but you didn't choose some pretty blonde girl" instead. but to me, she is the most beautiful girl in the entire world, not to mention the funniest, most adorable girl I have ever known. i love her. i'd say it a million different ways if i have to, write every love song or climb to every star in the sky for her... i wrote a poem for her a few weeks after we split, (I don't know exactly, but I think she liked it... I'll post it later if you want) 



I know I blackmailed her emotionally, at a time when she was already under lots of stress. I'm so angry with myself. I know there's not a lot I can do now apart from give her plenty of space and be a friend to her, but I was thinking of calling her one evening... just to say how sorry I am, how I should have known better than to play games with her heart... and that I will be there for her, forever and always, that I will wait until the end of time for her if I have to, because I love her more than anything. 
After that, I would back off and wait until the exams were over... and then see how she feels once the stress has died down

(I know it seems like I'm obsessed, but I'm not... I have experienced "love" before in my life, but words can't describe how much I care for this girl)
I know what I tried to do to myself was wrong, but I did not do it to try and make her feel guilty. I want to show her just how sorry I am.

sorry for repost

bandgurl · Accepted Answer

If I was in your position I would just listen to what the Psychiatrist said and wait a few weeks till after exams. I know your pain, my ex broke up with me the day before my birthday so I was about ready to do some stuff, just like you, but then I came to my senses. I know that waiting a while before talking to your ex can be a while, but it's worth the wait. 

In a few weeks or so when the exams are done, give her a few days to relax first and then call her and see how she is doing and if she would want to hang out sometime. If she says yes then get her something that shows her how sorry you are for doing what you did. If she doesn't say anything still get her something and then show up at her house and give it to her.

See where things go from there.

Good Luck.

cantabilemusic4fairy · Answer

It must be hard for you to deal with the breakup and the stress of keeping your love for her in, but I would wait for a few weeks or after she's done with the exams so you don't end up causing her or yourself more stress than you need to.  Apologies and messages can wait for a while because obviously she's under a lot of pressure to pass these exams or else she can't move on with her life.  Instead of stressing about this situation, why not take a walk and get some fresh air... I'm sure the conclusion will come out better when you wait a bit.

Amora · Answer

Wow you really love this girl. What i can't get is the fact that she dosn't want a boy like you to txt her. Ok so first off you really shouldn't of txt her that even if you were really going to do it. Anyway that is in the past. Look forward, you probably should leave her alone till the end of exams. When they are over you should start trying to contact her again and if she doesn't reply or still tells you no then sorry but she may not love you. But don't take the last sentence to mind i'm sure she does love you but really is under more stress than you are realizing. Let her finish exams and try again. Don't give up until you know for sure that things are over. Best of luck!!!!!

Anonymous · Answer

She sounds like shes very attached to her school work, probably more than anything else. I would leave her alone, you have to.  Something you need to understand is she might not ever talk to you again, are you going to be able to handle that?  You need to prepare yourself for the worst, and hopefully one day she'll ask to talk, but from the sounds of things she really just needs her space.  the fact that you kept texting her when she specifically asked to be left alone doesn't do much for you, it made her really uneasy, and you need to be able to deal with that void.  I know specifically how hard it is to loose someone you love unconditionally, but over a lot of time the pain gets easier to deal with, until eventually you wonder what you were even so upset about.  One way or another, everything comes out ok in the end. Sometimes life just really really sucks, and we as humans cant see past that moment.  Its like everything stops, and if we cant fix it than their is no tomorrow.  Im telling you this isnt the first and only time in your life you'll feel this way, things always happen that seem super terrible, than we overcome it.  You can overcome this.  You sound like a really wonderful guy, and if you just hang in there than you'll see one day none of this was even worth worrying about. :-) i hope i helped.

Anonymous · Answer

first off, if i were that girl, i would be totally hurt and annoyed that you threatened me emotionally. 
secondly, i would have a lowered self-esteem, maybe you were just pulling a joke on me? thinking too much, i would say. 

but i can see you're a really nice guy, and really sweet too. but the girl probably wants some time to study, maybe she's facing some sort of stress at home that requires her to work extremely hard to get good grades. 

and this normally happens for guys, but maybe your girl is not adapted to being around people who are smarter/better at something then themselves. might be because she has a low self esteem(past experience? idk)... 

just be yourself and leave her alone for a little while... maybe just text her when you know she's not studying (during lunch, after school, in the morning?)and tell her goodluck or just to remind her to drink more water cuz the weather's hot. but not too cheezy stuff like i miss you or i love you. i think she'll freak out? 

anyway, good luck withthis relationship. you need to keep your cool there, boy. dont rush into things, especially if you want it to last(: peace &#92;m/

αввιe.e ♥ · Answer

Its obvious that you reallyy love this girl and thats just amazingg .. 
Id say what you should do is give her some space until after her exams and then just slowly start talking to her againn, like apologize for what you didd and start being friends with her again. 
Just dont do this noww, wait until after her exams, shes obiously really stressed out and you talking to her now would stress her out some more, so just wait it out and then FIX IT x] 

Hope this helpedd !! 
Good Luckk
xx

baby jesus · Answer

tht's vry intersting and trust me i feel ur pain and let me tell you something i knw u love her but wen the relationship was broken off and she wanted to be friends you should've treated her like one and if she was under a lot of stess help her out because im sure if she wanted a relationship she would get back together with you all im saying is that if you love her give her some space and time to find herself so she could go on with her life.....let her make the decision that she wants to get back together because if you won't leave her alone like she wants you to girls tend to be very emotional at times and that could cause her to be angry at you for not listening....let her have her space and if she wants to come back to you then she will but the action you took about killing urself was very stupi because life is too short and you only live once so dnt waste it because you will regret it....sorry for the essay....hope it helps.....

mimi · Answer

so ya yea u should wait till the exams are over and tell her ur true felling just go up to her and spill those feelings out because u love her and u want to make it work and all i have to say is good luck with all plus the exams..............

hihihi · Answer

Just try to be friends with her first, and then VERY SLOWLY start flirting with her again. When you two are friends, just show hre that it's not only that you want her to be your girlfriend, but that you care about her and you want her to be happy.

Anonymous · Answer

Omgg that sooooooo cute I really almost cried, your a sweet guy I promise she'll come back. :)

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Teenage Girls: I messed up big time, I need your help?? (pretty long story)?

11 Answers