Im losing my relationship! :( Help! anybody.. expecially guys, can you tell me why he is acting this way!?

I hate to tell you this. But, I don't think either one of you is ready for a serious relationship.

One of the reasons: you need to learn how to argue, among other things. Probably, when you argue, you really hit below the belt, as it were, and those wounds linger.

My suggestion: try couples counseling.

With the baby coming, you need to be able to communicate.

If he is not willing (or ready) to stay home more, you can't force him by fighting with him.

Remember, men will not change unless they want to. There is nothing you can do or say that will make him change.

Put the needs of your baby first. All of this emotional upheaval is not good for your baby or your health (either emotionally or physically).

Make a concerted effort to leave when he starts arguing. Leave your telephone turned off more. DO NOT text him 100's of times - that is ridiculous and shows your desperation.

Never show a man your desperation.

Peace.

You wrote a lot and I feel that you wrote it quickly maybe even with a fiery passion. You appear to be quite temperamental. I encourage you to re-read what you wrote. Have you considered that you may be at some fault for the way things have turned out? He sounds like he tries fairly diligently to get you to stay with him but over time your badgering and nagging and controlling behavior will break him down and maybe that is what happened here. Now that you are pregnant I wonder if you aren't longing for the days of freedom that you both had in your relationship before you became pregnant. I wonder if you can really meditate on this and see how you could possibly meet him somewhere more toward the middle. I wonder what would happen if you could see this through another persons eyes? One way to do that is to pick up a pen and start writing a description (even a list) of the perfect relationship and then a list of the qualities of the perfect man and finally the qualities of the perfect woman. Write another list or a description about your relationship, your man, yourself. Ask yourself which of the desirable qualities from the first list is missing from your list. Is there enough good to patch it together? Reflect on the qualities that you truly bring to this relationship. Are you being the best partner that you can? I know this is not all your fault but really the only person you can change is yourself. Rrespect and love are earned by giving it. Give him some time - not in a way to give him the silent treatment - but in a respectful way to allow him time to reflect on what he wants. I actually think this guy loves you and wants to be a good daddy. All my best to you both and congrats on your baby.

You treat this guy with respect because you will be seeing him for at least 18 years because you want this baby to have his father in his life. You will not try to make him do what you want by picking fights. If you aren't home now, and can go back, go back so you have family to support you. If you want this child, do everything to make your and the child's life as good a possible: finish your education, get a job, get some counseling to help you sort out your feelings. Stop what you are doing with this guy. You both are scared shi--less and aren't working together. What's wrong is that you are a 17 year old girl who is pregnant with nobody able to step up and support you at this time. Your hormones are raging but you can't just let them take over and then blame your pregnancy for how you act. Decide if it is feasible for you to keep the baby. If it is, start acting like a grown up because you did what a grown up did and now have a child to raise the right way. If you can't, get the baby into a good home as soon as possible and then get some counseling to find out why you let yourself jump into getting pregnant so fast. Let the guy alone.

I know how it feels to be with someone, and feel like if they aren't yours, you'll be so unbelievably depressed.

I was with a boyfriend for a year and a half and he hurt me a lot through the entire relationship.

Broke up with me quite a few times and would come back the next day.

There was even a time where he left me and came back to me again after a month and a half of no contact.

I found out he cheated on me numerous times, also.

So, in my own conclusion.

You'll feel depressed, but after a while you'll realize that you hurt even more being in a relationship with a person like that.

Love is supposed to help you, not make you stress more.

And don't "stay together for the kid" or whatever. Because that could make your child's life even worse.

It's nice to be loved by some one and to love some one but if you don't start organizing for your baby's future now, then you'd be in trouble. After reading your letter, I think that your relationship wouldn't last very long again. Make you and your baby, your first priority. Don't depend on him because you'll reach nowhere. Whatever you can get from him now take it and use it wisely. He'd leave you and you should brace yourself for when that happens. Sorry to hear that you're in that position at that age when you should be enjoying your life doing things that you should be doing now. It hurts you that he treats you this way but if you don't decide to move on then it'll get worse. Sorry to be saying these bad things but you have to make a start now in your relationship either to move on or continue getting hurt. Best of Luck, Ms Linda H.

sweetie. if he isn't willing to be supportive right now, when you need it the most, then he won't be supportive in the years to come. if he doesn't care about you then you've GOT to find somebody who does.

try talking to him FACE TO FACE. trying to text him about an issue this big isn't going to solve anything.

imagine yourself in a couple years, 19 years old and with a baby. do you want him to be with you then? this is something that you can be totally selfish about - do whatever you feel will be best for you.

if you guys love each other like it seems you do you should be able to make this work - but you're going to have to work hard at it. have an honest face to face conversation with him, lay out all of your options, and pick the one that will make you happiest. and if he isn't willing to make the effort then you're better off without him.

i hope you dont take this the wrong way but it seems that you both have room to grow, maturity wise, i think you are both brave for trying to take on som much responsibility I.E ( serious relationship, having a child, trying to be young) but unfortuatly the advise that i can give from my own past mistakes is sometimes you just have to let things ruun its course for you to really understand waht happened.

i dont think you are waisting your time by not getting him back, i think you might not be investing your time wisely, you need to invest more time on you and to answer questions like: why did i break the bracelets? what did he feel after i did that? was i right? shoudl i appologize? was i really happy or just havent had this feeling with someone else?

i hope this helps, happy early bday wishes and hope all comea out well with the little one :)

Mr. Steve

Not gnna lecture. but ill say this: Your an idiot for getting pregnant at 17! you guys are still young and immature and not ready for marriage and this kind of stuff !

Anyways. Part of a strong healthy relationship there is fighting. There is no such thing as a relationship with out it. even perfect couples fight. you guys are just both stressing so hard.. even he is !.. hes just nervous and scared n ****... alot of emotions in his head. scared happy w.e. bet you have the same thing going on..

****.. you guys are too young.. see these fights are wayyyyyy toooo immature.. i feel like the only thing keeping you together is the baby :S. ..

Good luck.

I know everyone is against this and this sounds strong..and fxcked : But getting an abortion should be an option.......baby this early in life.. will fxck up your lives. what about education?.. money will be hard...

Oh god that's horrible.

You need to talk to him face to face. Being away from each other is just going to make things even worse. Tell him how depressed all of this is making you feel. You and him need to stop arguing if you really want the relationship to work. Especially if your pregnant. I wouldnt want my baby to grow up without a dad. You need to do everything in your power to make it work.

Maybe your hormones are making these arguments more extremem then they should be? Also, it's good to have sometime apart from your other half, whether you are having a baby or not. everyone needs their own time and space. you also may want to talk to him about how you are feeling. maybe he can be a little more understanding and sensitive to how you are feeling right now. if that doesn't work, try talking to you doctor. they may have some good advice for you as well.