how do i get my wife to stop putting her head in the sand about our 14 year old daughters drug use?...?

Take matters into your hands and get her some help. You're obliged to raise her up to be a useful part of society. Your wife is an adult and should do the same, if she won't do it anyway.

Ok so here's the deal. I feel that you are handling things properly. The part that makes things extremely messed up is that your wife is not backing you. You guys are a team and if you disagree y'all should discuss it away from your daughter. Kids are smart and can pick up on which parent will give in and which won't and play to that advantage. So I feel the best thing is for the poor grades and mouthiness of your daughter y'all should look into a private school or boarding school of some sort. Limit the stay at her grandparents house take phones away, cut off social life. This is going to cause some crap for sure.

At least she's come clean about using which is very good means she's some what honest for sure. Also try your best to listen to your daughter and don't push at her because this will only cause rebellion. Kids are going to smoke pot. Now I would say if her grades weren't suffering I wouldn't worry to much but apparently her social life is affecting her grades so you really need to figure something out there. I think that private school or boarding school is your best way out. There's really no right or wrong way to handle this, so all you can do is do your best.

Your wife: Well I think you need to really sit down and talk with her in a calm fashion about your concerns and should really put and emphasis on the grades. You guys have got to work together and your not going to see eye to eye on everything but at least maybe you can come to an agreement that will satisfy both of you. Keep the disagreeing separate from your daughters ears, that is a must.

I hope this helps and good luck.

Explain to your wife that she's not doing your daughter any favors by pretending this isn't an issue. I'm sure your wife wants to believe that every thing's OK and that your daughter is drug free and being the sweet little girl she's projecting to your wife, but you have PROOF otherwise. To ignore the issue is the same as saying it's OK.

As for the drug test...if your daughter isn't an avid user, the pot can be out of her system in three days or less.

Only someone that smokes pot on a regular basis would come up positive after a week.

I'm with u on this problem. It sounds like the girl keep on telling lies and mom keeps on believing them. The best thing you can do is to watch her close and catch her high then pop a drug test on her. GO thru her things, shes your daughter and she is the one that has broken the trust she is talking about so you have the right to do so. Friends are the no. 1 source of young girls doing drugs so keep an eye on the friends and talk to their parents if need be. catch them all. that is the only way you can put an end to her lying and your wife believing it. I've been thru this with two sons and believe me you are headed for hell if you don't get a handle on this now. good luck!

You aren't the bad one. Your wife really wants to protect her seemingly sweet and innocent baby but it isn't helping anyone. She needs to know this and your daughter needs to know that you still love her and want her well. You need your wife on your side before you can make any progress. Show her your question and she will see how much this has affected you. Trust me, your in the right. Dont blame yourself for anything that your wife and daughter are doing.

I'm an 18 year old girl and would hope my dad would do the same for me. She needs to come off the drugs.

thats i tough one i am in the same boat wth my 15 yo son and i put him in drug class and he passed all his pee tests but he admited he was using there bodies are young and flush thngs quicker then ours do.. you are doing the right thing whether your wife wants to think so or not. i am 37 now and was accused of doing drugs before i ever did so i just told myself if im gonna get acused then why not do and i got into some really messed up stuff and i still struggle today with my addiction but i was doing the same thing your daughter was doing with the drawngs and sayings.. if shes not doing them yet then i would say she wants too and your wife needs to understand that acting like its not going on or thats its not gonna happen is nieve on her part and you are dong the right thing stick to your guns with this ITS HER LIFE YOU ARE TRYING TO SAVE good luck

First of all she does sound like the type that takes/will takes drugs and she is fascainated by them being cool and wathever I doubt she will stop unless she grows out of it

My advice is she needs lerning about drugs take her to see some crack smack or meth addicts ask her after are drugs cool I can feel your frustration but in the end of the day it will be her decision

well iv been smoking pot scince i was 12 also and i'm doin alrite it been 4 years i used to draw stuff like that all the time butt then i grew out if it eveyone goes through that stage i used to draw acid trips on paper and chessy coment like that high 4 life she'll probaly grow out of it pot is an natural herb its not gonna hurt her if u gotta smart kid she'll be ok.

wow. i'm truly sorry aite. at 12? my parents would have buried me alive. be her friend, she coulb be an addict, get her rehab. be a good dad. if i was here that's what i want my dad to do. she needs help. she probably has bad friends or alot of problems. move elsewhere. start afresh. take heavy actions.

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Your a god damn trip fool. dont you understand you need to make it so she doesnt feel she has to lie too you. i hate telling my parents i dont smoke its rediculous. i shouldnt have to hide it cuz really unless your a ***** idiot weed doesnt make you stupid. and weed takes a month to leave your system u suspisious fluker