There's the saying that it's better to have loved and lost than never loved at all, but...?

I've "lost" more relationships than I can count. Not just romantic relationships,

but all kinds.

For about two years after my husband left me and I got over all the pain and heartache

that caused me I became rather numb.

Looking back at my life, I can see how not being attached emotionally (being "numb")

has its positive attributes, but in the long run kept me at a constant arm's distance

from others.

Overall, I can't imagine living my whole life without loving others - whether or not the relationship lasts. Eventually we all depart this world, and I think maybe being separated from those we love while they're still living helps us accept - to some degree - the lost of a loved one by death.

One thing about love - it doesn't necessarily end when a relationship does, or when a person dies. It transcends time and space. It knows no boundaries. Life without love is no life at all.

(((Cassie)))

I think that it's better to have been able to experience something wonderful that once made you happy, even if it doesn't last forever- than to have never been able to feel that way before. True, if you didn't have the friendship or love, you wouldn't have all the hurt - but at least you have the memories and even if for a short time, were able to enjoy the feelings that only a true friendship or a true love can bring you, and I think in the end that's worth everything else. You'll never know what to look for in your future to make you happy if you have never experienced it. Plus, loss is all a learning and growing experience and necessary in order to appreciate the people that stick around!

Any relationship we have, a romance or a friendship, opens up our heart just a little more and teaches us something new about ourselves, so IMHO it's always better to at least go down the road than never take the step. I have had very close friendships as well as deep love relationships and even though some of them ended at I felt hurt and lost when they did, as time went by I realized that I was better off for having been in them.

Example - I was married to the love of my life for 17 years, and then I woke up one morning and she was gone, suddenly, just slipped away during the night. I went through intense grief for over a year and wondered sometimes how I could go on, but that was 4 years ago now and when I think about her it's not so much grief any more but appreciation that I had a love like that in my life. I've moved on but I never forget.

Yes it does hurt, but over time we do survive.

(((Cassie)))

Is it better to have lived and died than to have never lived at all? You can't experience both of those possibilities, and so whichever of the two you ARE experiencing, that is the automatic bias from which you make your judgement. In regards to your specific question, because you had those friendships, you'll never know what it would be like to not have ever had any such friendship. If you had never formed such bonds, you would have no idea what it could be like to have them. To cut down on my blabbering, there is simply no excellent way to honestly answer the question to yourself. Still, as far as one could possibly determine, I would think it obvious that the answer is contingent upon the observer (in this case, you). So ask yourself: before I had these close friends, was I happier than I ended up being in those intimate relationships with them? Was I happier than I am now, now that I only have those relationships in my memories? The answers, for me, are both "no," and I wonder if you wouldn't share my sentiments. Regardless, though, of whether you agree with me or not, regardless of your outlook on such matters, regardless of how hard the apparent ephemeral nature of these tender connections, you live on and are able to make these assessments. So you tell us, miss Cassie. Would you rather you had never formed those bonds and thus spared yourself the misery, or do you think they were worth the time they lasted no matter how quickly they met their inevitable ends?

Yes, and it works on the same principle as the one that applies to lovers.

Just because something ends in heartbreak/hurt, doesn't change all the good that came before. To say you would rather have not bothered with friendship is to say you would prefer to live without companionship, love, trust, laughter, etc etc, all the shared memories and joys that come along with intimacy and vulnerability, and exchange this for the guarantee that you'll never be emotionally hurt. That seems to me to be a sterile existence not worth living.

If we only began things we knew were sure bets, then we'd never start anything at all.

(((Cassie)))

Yes, and no... lol

In some instances it is better to experience the natural flow and ebb of relationships. In just a few, we learn lessons... like "don't ever befriend a guy you met on the mental ward" or "never again take a homeless woman to your actual home."

If it was a loving relationship that was lost, it is better to have one at all, even though it will end in time. Life is like that...

''Don't cry that its over....smile that it happened'' - Abishek Bacchan.

This is a very treasured quote of mine. And I feel it sums up pretty much what I feel about this wonderful question of yours.

Been there, done that. Friends come and go, but it hurts very much when some of them have had been very close ones. There's this two ex-best friends of mine, we've been pretty much inseparable for 4 years, till an atrocious incident stemming from a complete misunderstanding tore me apart from both of them.

They ended up doing a lot of bad to me afterward, as a sort of a revenge. But I still look back and feel for the old times.

And then there's this girl, right here at Y!a, I like her a lot and we've been very good friends when we kept in touch, but she kinda broke away. Now I tried a few times to get her back, but with so much bad luck hitting me, I just feel maybe the old man in the sky has other plans.

Sometimes, I guess, its better to just move on.

I think the answer is yes if the friendship was unconditional

It all ends the same, party while your young

party when your old and Love!

Best Wishes.

Mars Mission.

14th Year Psychology Student.

its a horrible lie that saying a nice little cushion to the pain.