Let's list why the Twilight novels suck?

Twilight, ****-light, The Super Gay Adventures of Sparkles the Vampire, The Worst Book Ever Written or Why Mormons Shouldn't Write Vampire Fiction, along with its cash-cow sequels New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn are a four novel long, vampire romance series that appeals to the tiny minds of 16 year old girls and represent in their entirety some of the worst and most ******* abysmal "literature" ever conceived of.

Full of one-dimensional characters and completely devoid of originality, the series is comparable to reading the scribblings and **** stains of an epileptic downie coloring while a strobe light is being shone in its face. Avoid reading it at all costs.

The book series is easily the worst thing to hit the werewolf genre since furries, and the worst thing to happen to vampires ever. The entire series of books and movies has no redeeming value to speak of as either literature or cinema, and should be avoided like The Black Plague.

If you want to know just how horrible Twilight is, it's worse than Tara Gilesbie's masterpiece My Immortal, because My Immortal was funny. Twilight just makes small children cry. The maddening thing is that Twilight isn't rotting on fanfiction.net like it should be, but making shitloads of cash which funds its author's lard *** with twinkies and ho ho's. The author is listed in Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential People for catering to the fantasies of 16 year old girls who wouldn't know a good book if it raped them in the ***. Twilight also supports pedophilia, necrophilia, bestiality and babyfuck.

yes i did copy and paste that. it is not my original work. i just wanted everyone to see how hilarious those paragraphs were.