After the practice, how did you…… ?

I found out years ago that it was best to keep my dojo relationship with students and my personal relationship separate. After a few years even the best students begin to change the way they think about you and your rules, ...etc. I have had first hand experience with students that suddenly thought that they had the right to bend the rules or act in-appropriately. Those that I did not socialize with were far less likely to do the same. My experiences were that many of the problems with students came up suddenly after years of thinking that the students were OK. Then they suddenly will do something drastic and damaging to their training in the class. On two separate occasions senior students that i was also training suddenly broke away without permission to open their own dojo. I would never have been against them opening their own dojo. The problem is they don't ask. They just break away. Open their own school. They become so greedy that they do not want to be connected with my organization. They prefer to teach and promote their students on their own. not only do their students not have an organization backing their rank, the instructors themselves tend to stop training with someone. One of my old students broke away this way. He forgot or modified some things so that they had flaws in the way they were done. I visited him and offered to correct the flaws. (This was only offered because he was trained by me and his students reflect on me and what I am and teach.) Rather than take me up on the offer, he contacted my senior student and asked him to correct his technique, kata, ... I told my senior student not to correct it , but to tell him to call me. That was more than 10 years ago. to this day his ego will not let him come to me to fix the problems.

Do what you want with your students and your relationship with them. But be warned, it is only a matter of time before it comes back to haunt you. It always seems to be the students you think are the most dedicated and loyal.

But if you decide to pull back from social involvements not that you already have been hanging out with them, be ware........ If you pull back everyone will start acting strange because they will not understand why. It can and will cause problems too. You truly have placed yourself in a very volatile situation. I hope that you can resolve this with the least amount of damage....

Best of Luck!

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At my School, the Sifu and the senior students arrange social gatherings. Sometimes it is Dim Sum in Chinatown. Sometimes it is a movie. Sometimes it is watching UFC. Sometimes it is cookouts, etc. The important thing is to maintain the respect between sifu and the students, and between students. Once a class develops into a high school style social hierarchy, it will have a negative impact on the chemistry of the school.