Is this really how everyone feels out there?

That's not how I feel. I wish more couples/people were as strong as them. Sex shouldn't be the basis on choosing your spouse. Sex like any other activity is a learned trait and becomes better with time and practice. Sex is physical. A marriage is based (or should be) on love and trust, sex doesn't equate love and trust.

No, of course that isn't how EVERYONE feels, but that take is very rare, and generally limited to strictly religious people. There's nothing wrong with it. It works for many. It just isn't the norm. These people don't typically have very long courtships either. That said, not waiting until marriage for physical affection does not mean that a couple's relationship will be based on sex. I'm sure you know that however.

I see no reason to abstain from sex, or kissing, for that matter. Sex is natural, healthy and has many advantages and benefits that make you a happier, healthier person. To the contrary, abstaining from sex has disadvantages including increased tension levels and general frustration and stress.

Just because two people have sex, does not mean their relationship is based on sex, this seems an irrational fear. Almost all married couple have sex, and you wouldn't accuse them of marrying just to have sex. If you're not sure if your partner is with you just for sex or not, then you shouldn't be with them at all.

I believe in knowing everything about a person before making a commitment to them for life, you want to know what you;re signing up for, and this includes knowing your partner sexually. There is too much risk in holding off until marriage to get to know your partner. It is better to learn of any incompatibilities before the wedding date.

I actually think it is a really bad idea. And I'm speaking as someone who graduated from college as a virgin.

I can understand "no sex before marriage". But no kissing? How can you really tell if there is any chemistry? You are in danger of acidentally marrying a women who is completely "asexual" and living a life of frustration, with an important element of a great relationship missing. It also makes the line between "friend" and "something more" harder to define. And suppose you never meet that special someone?

Also, from experience I know that women SAY they want men to slow down, but don't really respect men who do. I made that mistake in my early relationships. One thing I've learned is to take things a little faster, because there is such a thing as momentum in relationships.

i personally think its weird.

i understand not having sex, but not kissing? just plain strange.

i also would not want to have my first kiss while everyone was watching. first kisses, whether its your first ever or just your first with a new person can be awkward, and i cant imagine doing it front of a bunch of people.

Practice uncontrollable desire only lead to worst thing later in life. What if the fresh desire between the couple dies down after marriage and a stunning guy/gal came along and ask for a kiss while alone by himself/herself? Will the couple by him/herself able to control his/her desire then? Will the excitement kicks to cause ruin or refraining kicks in because it was natural practice?

No one said waiting would harm the relationship. I said it was a big red flag that something was ALREADY unhealthy in that relationship.

And unless the poster was part of a culture in which arranged marriages are the norm, or a culture with many, many similarities to one of those cultures, I wholeheartedly stand by my answer.

But "everyone" was not saying that.

I don't know...it makes them sound very young and I don't mean it in the wrong way but sort of ignorant. By that I don't mean stupid, I just think they have not had any experience or know much about things that happily married couples should know. It just doesn't sound like they've lived and grown or they're whole human beings yet and without all of those things once they experience each other eventually they might be curious about what else is out there. I don't know, that is only my opinion.

Why limit your experience

because of some silly belief

that "waiting to kiss" will strengthen your relationship?

Kissing is fun and promotes happiness for both partners, so they shouldn't hold themselves back from this pure experience, all because of some belief system.

No!

The idea that 'tasting the marital due' before marriage leads to better relationships just does NOT hold any water. Such relationships have instead been found to fall apart more easily & quickly, because they were based on sexual compatibility instead of spiritual principles . . .

For example, Jehovah's Witnesses feel that marriage is Sacred,

& that it should be treated with Great Respect!

"Why View Marriage as Sacred?"

- Love and Respect

- - Time and Attention

- - - Avoid a Casual View!

http://www.watchtower.org/e/20040508a/article_01.h...

"Marriage Should Be a Permanent Bond!"

http://watchtower.org/e/20020208/article_03.htm

"A VERY SPECIAL Wedding"

http://watchtower.org/e/19980615/article_01.htm

2009 Worldwide Report of Jehovah's Witnesses (7m+)

http://watchtower.org/e/statistics/worldwide_repor...