My parents found out about my suicide attempt/cutting. (Sorta long, serious answers only please)?

A lot of people don't understand what goes on in the mind of a suicidal person. A lot of people will just tell you to stop trying to get attention, and go get some help.

But I know exactly how you're feeling, believe it or not. And I'm not here to judge you.

Your mom took the wrong approach reacting the way she did. She's putting a lot of guilt on you, making you feel worse. And even though it feels like you're the one hurting her, she's putting a lot of pressure on you right now.

But that's not your fault, and I want you to know that.

I know how it feels to finally open up to somebody, tell them about what's really been going on with you and getting a negative reaction like that. It makes you feel like you're f*cking with everything you touch, and that you have no positive impact on anybodys life. But that's not true.

Your mom should've handled it in a more calm manner,

but honestly she just loves you, and she hates about the possible fact that her Son wants to take his own life.

Killing yourself is an extreme; and even though you don't see it yet, but there's a lot to live for.

You're not hurting anybody right now. And I know it feels like you're hurting everybody slowly, but you're not. They're worried about you, and would hate to see anything bad happen. The only person you're hurting right now by accusing yourself of these things, is yourself. You're putting too much pressure on yourself, and I know how that feels as well. I used to blame myself for everybody's problems. I'd pile it up, until I just couldn't take it anymore.

I know it's hard right now, and I know it feels like you have nothing left. But somewhere in there, there's something. Don't give up hope, okay? Try to keep your head up.

If you need someone to talk to, you can e-mail me if you like.

I have gone through similar stuff as you have; which I won't post here for all oh Y!A to see.

It seems like right now you just need somebody to listen to what you have to say, and not freak out or judge you.

I'm here if you need me :]

~ Fey

First of all, suicide is not selfish. It means you have tried so hard and you just are falling apart. I won't pretend to know what it's like because I don't know. But a few months ago, I found out my little sister had cut a time or two. It destroyed me inside, I cried myself to sleep for days and didn't talk or pay attention in school the rest of that week. However I never let her see it because I knew I needed to be strong for her, and I needed to show her that yes I know, but I won't say anything because I know how embarrassed she was. So before I go on talking about my crisis, I just felt like saying, if all these people you've never met care about you, keep pushing. I don't know what it feels like to be that down, but I can promise you that I'll always be telling you in my head to keep on pushing, because you are worth it, and you can fight this. I'll end there before I start bawling.

Ps. Have you tried simple over the counter medications such as tums or white foods and ginger ale?

You have to be strong I know you are young and in pain, you are right suicide if selfish I use to do the same started at 16 stop at age 21 I'm 22 now, It's a hard thing to stop doing when you have you're mind so wrapped around it and life isn't helping. There is a chance one day you will find the right doctor and all of you're pain will be gone. And think of it this way I use to tell myself this. Something if better than nothing meaning after I die there will be nothing blank nothing no thinking no seeing. This is hard to explain sorry. Its like I would rather have the pain and all the bad I had than to not exist.You only live the most 90yrs then after that you are gone forever. And to you're mother who spent 9mths carrying you and messing up her body and 15yrs taking care of you loving you, never think to you're self she rather you dead because you will be killing her if you do that, its not fare! I am a mother of a 2yrs old girl only 2 yrs and all the effort and though and emotion I have out into her I hope she never feels the way I did the way you do, forget about suicide its not the answer, years from now you are going to have these scars and you're going to think to you're self I wish I didn't have these and I'm so glad I didn't kill myself, You need to try you're best at researching what is wrong with you on line try to see what you can ask you're doctors to test you for its part of you're job to do this there have been any times patients diagnose themselves. Here try starting with webmd.com Put you're effort into helping you're self.

I'm not here to judge you, and you wouldn't care if I did anyway.

You said don't bring up religion. I would love to respect your wishes, but I am telling you from all of my experience that religion puts meaning into even the most messed up lives, and if you are really unhappy enough to kill yourself, you should be willing to give religion another chance before you even consider suicide anymore.

On to the seeking attention thing, yeah, I don't buy that you would make up this whole depressing story for attention, and if you were, that's sad. But you aren't.

Your parents love you, so they are going to be upset, but I know how you feel, smothered and alone at the same time. I would recommend going somewhere, not to the Micky D's down the street, but drive out as far as you can and look for shapes in the clouds, cry, feel the wind on your skin, the sun on your back, water under your toes... always makes me feel better.

Stop saying that your sick of hurting your family and friends so you want to commit suicide. What do you think suicide will do? Help your mom's wounds heal? Hell no. It will make them one thousand times worse, don't kid yourself. And if you did commit suicide, no one would be there to make your mom feel better. Your mom raised you, and she loves you. No mother is ever prepared to leave there kids. Don't tell yourself your helping her by killing your self, because you aren't. Fully accept that your presence makes her life a million times brighter, and don't reason with yourself anything else.

That being said, if your mom is the only reason you are not dead right now, you need some serious change, you need to value yourself. I recommend charity work, traveling, and changing scenery. You are in a rut right now, so you need to start working your way out of a hole.

I hope your life gets a lot brighter. E-mail me if you have any questions.

=)

^Oh, and smile at strangers. Really fixes a crappy day.

BQ- They need to value themselves more. They aren't bad people.

You stupid jesus freaks need to learn how to help people instead of pushing your stupid, antiquated ideas on the kid. IT DOESN"T help him. (EDIT: that wasn't my place to say but that's how I feel). Anyway J.D. I think your father is either a jerk or cracking under the stress, either way ignore him as best you can. You can't win arguments with the 'rents. Your physical problems seem to be your body's way of saying that it doesn't like what's going in it, so diet modification is #1-no soda o.j , fried foods. There is a name for pretty much every disease, it's just a matter of the right doc diagnosing it, so don't give up. Also, I think you should find a good therapist-you are very ill and it's NOT your fault, yet here you are calling yourself a scumbag. That means you have poor self esteem (even without knowing about the cutting). You just have to keep trying till you find the right therapist, and keep trying different doctors. Yeah, hard to do when you are depressed, and lost a friend too, but that's all you can do. I don't think you really want to kill yourself either, you just want the pain to end (we all do). Just hang in there.

Hi there! I'm really sorry that you're going through all of this, but death is permanent. There's no coming back. You seem like a really intelligent person with a bright future ahead of you and I'm sure the doctors will find some way to help you. How long have you been sick if you don't mind me asking?

I have tons of health problems too. Not as bad as yours though. I can't say I know how you feel since I'm not you, but I will say I understand how it feels to be sick, suicidal, and hopeless. Your mother cares about you quite a bit and her life and feelings are important too. Think about the things you DO have in life. The good things.

Instead of cutting try expressing your emotions in a different way. Keep a journal. Listen to music that relates to how you're feeling. Take a cold shower. Play with a pet (If you don't have one- I suggest getting one) Find out what's triggering it. Distract yourself. Drawing is a really good distraction. Find something you love to do. Find a hobby. Set goals. I know it's hard to think that your life is gonna get anywhere because of your health problems, but what if it does? You'd be missing all of that. Self harm can actually cause infections which will make your health even worse.

I'm sorry that your friends don't want to be around you. They're not real friends then. Have you ever tried joining a club or something? Or can you not do that because of the health problem? If you can get out, try volunteering for something. It will make you feel good.

Please don't blame yourself for anything. This isn't your fault at all. I don't understand why your mom is always crying. That's probably making it worse. Talk to her about it. Tell her that she needs to stop. As for your father I think it would help if you formed a better relationship with him. Try talking to him more. Don't be afraid to show your emotions.

It's good that you're getting counseling. Keep it that way. Stay strong. Easier said than done. I know, but what if your life gets better? If you don't kill yourself I can assure you that 10 years from now you'll be saying to yourself "Thank God I didn't do it". I really hope the doctors can find a way to help you.

Another thing...Movies. Movies are a really good way to escape your own life for 2 hours. They put you into someone else's life. If you get really into the movie it's like you become them. You feel what they feel. Try watching a lot of funny movies. You should also know it's ok to cry. It's good for you sometimes, but try not to do it too much. Sometimes that can make you think of more and more things to be upset about. You seem like such a sweet kid and you don't deserve this. You could make such a difference in this world. If the doctors find a diagnosis/cure for you it could really help people in the future who have the same problem.

Good luck with everything and email me if you need more advice. -hugs- <3

I know your going through a rough time right now, but death is a very selfish fix for something that might not be permanent. They could find out what's wrong with you tomorrow or in a year from now, my point is don't give up. If your friends don't have time for you EFF them, they were never true to begin with.

One of my mom's friend, lost a child she was 14 or 15 to an overdose and she died two years later, from "natural causes," which I assume was a broken heart. She was only 45 I think. My point is, why put your parents and sibling through this, they're messed up enough because of your illness.

I know it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel but keep the faith, one day everything will be clear and you will be so thankful you never did kill yourself.

Also, I think cutting is horrible, quit it, it's not helping you or anyone else.

BQ: I think it's sad that people cut, it's an easy way out to me but then again I don't know anyone who cuts so I can't really talk from experience.

THAT WHICH DOESN'T KILL YOU ONLY MAKES YOU STRONGER.

Also, if you want a friend, even though we don't know each other, you can email me! I'll listen! Just don't do anything rash. Think it through take it one day at a time.

Edit: Good, just keep thinking of her :] She loves you so much and it's evident from your post. Don't let her down!

My email is Edenxxde@yahoo.com if you want to talk - not forcing you, just realized I didn't type it!

Your Answer:

Ok well I read your P.S's and nice for posting them. Listen Im 17 and from Nebraska I have a friend that is suicidal and i have to check and pray every night that one night she doesn't really do it and im scared. Your parents love you as much as you dont think they do they truley do. Your going to have to give your parent a week or so to get it together. I promise they will find out what is wrong. You say that you are sick of hurting everyone what would your mom and dad do if they found you in your room dead really... they would feel so much worst. They would blame everything on them. Your friends would be ashamed at what they did. I have lost enough friends to know. When times get rough friends go running. Everyone is beautiful no matter what you do in life. You can fight the pain of your illness if you can cut... My cousin hung himself not to long ago because he had no friends his parents lost track of him and know one knew what was going on. I wish we would of talked more and i would of know what i do know but i dont and thats something i have to live with do you want your parents to go through losing a child. NOOOO.... I promise you have a whole life ahead of you. Just be strong its ok to cry heck i do it all the time. Fight til the end it will be worth it I wanna talk more so if you do need a friend im here @ yahoo email Rachel_Pinkerton11@yahoo.com

aww :( this is really sad.

well absolutely don't you dare kill yourself. you may think that you are putting people out of pain but you aren't. your mom would be so torn apart for a really long time, you see how she has been because you attempted suicide, imagine if you really did. and trust me other people would too.

also every time i hear someone say they want to kill herself it makes me sad because my moms mom had cancer. she had 11 kids (yeah i know its a lot) that were just starting families and really wanted to see them all grow up but she didn't get to because she died. i never got to meet her :( the same thing happened with my dads mom, i was only 4. someone would purposely take their life when all my grandmas wanted to do was live. that is just horrible.

also you are kind of like my best friend. she has some mysterious illness that they don't know what it is. she has to go to the hospital an hour away once a week. she is always weak, tired, clod, and in pain. even if it may feel like it, you aren't the only person with problems.

okay im almost done. if you get anything from this its don't kill yourself. its stupid and selfish. and if you feel really alone email me (you can get to it on my page) <33.

After reading this, i have gained a lot of respect for you.

Being a former cutter, i understand the angle you are coming from. But don't let these serious health problems get to your head too much. I understand how hard it may be, i have a personality disorder, that is very hard to push past sometimes. But listen to all these people giving you great advice. They could find out whats wrong with you, and fix it. Patience is key. Because of the fact that you are going to therapy and asking random strangers online, its your cry for help. You want to live, just not so miserably. I fully believe that everyone was put on this planet for a reason and if god brought you to this obstacle he will bring you through it. It may not seem fair now, but when your alive and well days, months, and years from now, you will thank us and everyone who has helped you. If your friends tell you there going to see you and don't, i agree that they are not your true friends to begin with. they would stay by your side. But there are plenty of good people in the world, people that want to help you and are trying. Like your family. Its hard for them right now to take all of this in, but as your parents they are trying there best to help you, weather it seems that way or not. I don't know you, but i have sympathy for you and i don't want you to die. It is one of lifes bad challenges. But you are strong, and again, you may not see it but you are. and thats why you were put on earth. Keep your head up, try your best to stop hurting yourself because you don't want it to escalade into something worse. Stay strong, and keep your head up. Soon enough, you will get through it. Hope I helped<3