Where can I find on the internet a live streaming?

of a video that demonstrates to me all of the martial arts ever, explains the differences between them, and outlines all of their strengths and weaknesses. These videos should also demonstrate in excruciating detail how I can hurt someone badly in a school yard fight and make them cry. I need to know all of this before I watch UFC114 live on the interwebz so I can figure who would win a fight between Bruce Lee and Wilma Flintstone. Hopefully, if I can deduce the winner, I will know which martial art is the deadliest and which one I should take for deadly offensive ability.