Is this a good intro to a creative story?(This is for Sophmore English II Honors.)?

I still can recall what happened that day. It was the most sinister day of my life. I woke up that morning with an unsure feeling in my soul. I peered out the window and noticed the sky was an unusual shade of gray. I went to get dressed, but there were no clean clothes in sight, all except a white jumpsuit at the end of the closet rack. There was a note taped onto it that read “Good morning Brett. Sorry about not making you breakfast. Your father and I are at the store shopping for some groceries. See you soon. See you very, very soon. Love Mom and Dad.” Strange, very eccentric. Something about that note seemed very atypical. I couldn’t figure out what was puzzling me, until I realized that did not seem to be my Mom’s handwriting. I hiked downstairs in a bewildered fashion, gazed at the table and sure enough there was no breakfast at hand. So I looked in the pantry to try and formulate a ration of food. I grabbed a slice of bread and placed what was left of the cream cheese onto it. I imbibed some water and headed out the door to wait for the bus. At the bus stop my two friends Seth and Justin marched up to me with a nervous look on their faces. “Hey Brett, just out of curiosity, were your parent’s home this morning?” asked Justin in a calm yet frantic manor. “No. Why?” I replied. “Because everyone’s parents have gone missing this morning!” Yelled Seth with great anxiety. “Ok calm down bro, my parents are at the grocery store shopping,” I assured. “Do you know that for a fact?” questioned Justin in a mysterious tone. “Uh, ya they left me a note,” I explained. With his eyes watering Seth informed, “The grocery stores are closed, the movies are closed, the mall is closed, every Damn thing in this town is closed.” “Brett, open your eyes, every kid in town got the same phony saying their parents are at the store,” said Justin in a dark tone. Just as the heart pounding words escaped his mouth, a giant bus that read ARMY National Guard” speed up to our bus stop. A small militia of National Guard troops came storming out the bus armed with assault rifles. One of the men yelled, “Get in the bus! Get in the bus! Get in the bus now.” Now I was sincerely scared for my life. Three kids tried to make a run for it when two of the troops open fired. “Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang.” Several unnecessary rounds were fired at the three innocent kids. I watched them fall. They died before they even hit the floor. Justin, Seth, and I were covered with a mist of blood. My heart was pounding faster than their rifles had fired. “Anybody else wanna test us! Huh! Huh! This is not a rhetorical question!” yelled the commander as he fired two rounds into the air.” “No sir!” we all yelled. With the barrels of their guns aiming right at our backs, we marched right onto the military bus. The bus was silent, very silent. It was all noiseless until one brave soul yelled, “Where in the Hell are you taking us you savages!” The Commander signaled to three of the soldiers and they carried him into one of the rooms. Then I heard torturous screaming coming from the room. The funny thing was, there were no gunshots. The boy just kept screaming and screaming. Until just like that, the troops walked right out, empty handed and the screaming had silenced. What happened to the boy? I don’t know. Your guess is as good as mine. Looking out the window, I observed we were headed to school. School? Why would we be heading to school in a situation like this? Is this the districts idea of preparing for the AIMS? At that time I did not know. All I knew is that my buddies and I were about to be involved in the most infamous government conspiracy in the history of mankind. Momentarily we pulled up the school. “What the Hell!” yelled Justin as he glanced at our school wide eyed. The school! Our place of education! No, it can’t be! Yes, it was. It was quarantined in a bubble just like you see in the movies. There were HAZMAT guys walking around school grounds. My mind was in a negative ecstasy . The soldiers unloaded us off the bus like we were livestock. We followed them into the school auditorium. There was an uproar of talking as we met up with the rest of the student body, when the commander started barking into the podium, “Silence, Silence you damn fools! We have a special message which will be played on the screen. We have a live message from the U.S. president. So all of you bastards give him the respect he deserves.” We eagerly awaited our fate as we watched the large screen roll down when our president of the United States appeared to us. Surely he would have a logical explanation for all this? Maybe a solution? He was here to save us right? Wrong! “Good morning my fellow youth of America. Today is an important day in your lives,or deaths I should say. Ha Ha! I’m sorry, that was not funny, not funny at all. Anyways, you will be making the ultimate sacrifice, dying for your country. Our government has come to a conclusion that the economy has become t