my heart, it hurts (plz read the whole thing and help will you guys)?

Question

ok so my granma she is very old.we have to take care of her everything like even walk her. anways will try to make it short.

because of this economical problems my dad could not like keep her in the house for some time because my mother could not be there for her all the time as beck then even she started to work. so my uncles and aunts took her. but they could not always keep her (you know why). 

and after she had to leave from our house all the family and even my dad a little thought of her like a burden. but kept doing things like it was. but soon my sisters and mom and even dad were like totally like she is a burden. and slowly slowly changed behavior. although things are pretty much the same. just that now others sometimes ignore her.

but me, i never changed my way about her. i always stayed with her. did everything she said. never complained. even when the time came when my sisters started to say "oh ya well why dont you do that for her eh?" i just did things for her . and now that EVERYONE thinks of her as a burden just showing that she isnt .....sometimes even doing that (but i think she cant understand anyways LOL) i still kept my ways like they were.

i used to sit her besides me when i am on the comp or TV.and stuff like that you get the idea. i had in mind that if i be nice to my grandma then my grand kids wil be nice with me.


but today when she asked for food i did stood up and went to get it.  but my heart was like ............ not likening it.  i did not do it by my will. i was like wishing she just didnt asked me that.  before today i was just like when she asked i went to do that no feelings like that.  but today it happened.



and now my heart hurts. tell me guys what to do i really feel hurt for feeling like that. now i fear that maybe my grand kids would do the ame to me. what should i do to make it up? like i did the same thing from outside but not from the inside.  what to do?


PIECES!!!!

Mariam · Accepted Answer

wow .. that is really very sad :( 

i hope this doesnt happen to any of us :( 

how can kids be so un-grateful .. when they were small .. these very parents had SO much tolerance and patience with them and when they are older .. they just .. *sigh*

there is no need to blame yourself for anything .. you dont control what others feel and you were young, you didnt know. so dont blame yourself .... the reason why they think of her the way they do is of their own.

anyhow, brother, you are doing your best, masha'Allah, and your compassion towards her is really very nice. the fact that your heart is aching because of what you felt at one point makes you an even better person. 

we all are humans and we all slip once or the other ... i am sure you didnt mean what you felt ... because you did your duty. next time when such thought comes to you head ... just say "Audhubillah" and shake it off.

insha'Allah you are getting alot of reward for your kindness .. May Allah bless your beautiful heart. 

salam alaikum.

Maureen S · Answer

You do not say how old you are!  No matter - whatever young age you are, you are certainly thinking the right way.  I commend you for worrying about your grandma.  Of course you are going to feel like you did, sometimes, it is only natural.   As long as you realize that you are thinking the wrong way, and you correct it, no harm has been done.

You are correct in assuming that whatever way you live now, will strongly effect the kind of adult you will be later.  I suggest you keep thinking and acting the way you are now, positively and with love.  You will never regret it, because, as you say, then your grandchildren will have a wonderful grandpa and you will "get back what you give out".

How old is your grandma?    Is she disabled or forgetful, as many seniors are?   All you can do is do your best.  It sounds as if you have a conscience which some of your family have not.  This lady brought up her children the best that she could, but it sounds as if her children (now adults) never think of what she did for them when they were younger.

Forget about that negative thought you had, and continue to love her and look after her.  You are sure to feel good about yourself for doing so, and it sounds as if you ar

qc · Answer

Well now, it seems your heart is in the right place.
 I all ways hated your pompous boast full ways(In fact down right stupid lies you come out with)
 If this is not one more lie and you genuinely feel guilt, I guess there is hope for you and you may not be what you like to project your self as!
 BTW--You should not love your grandma just because you want to be treated well in your old age.
 I never thought I would say this to you but May God/Allah bless you. You have a good heart. Do not spoil it . This Dunia is dangerous if you choose to follow falsehood.

Anonymous · Answer

Omg, reeally? it's really sad the rest of ur family thinks of her as a burden... they might as well send her to  nursing home. 
But u're doing a good job mashallah, Allah(SWT) will reward u for that..
Even if u're grandma is 150 years old, she must have done a lot for ur dad, uncles n aunts when they were young.... that's really selfish.. i wanted to say more but i have to go now.

Anonymous · Answer

It doesn't sound like shell be living for that long anymore. Keep her in your house and take care of her while you still can. Otherwise your heart will hurt even more.

Anonymous · Answer

Ahmed bro, what ur parents did was wrong.. and I really apprehend this attitude and a soft corner for ur grandma. I'll tell u my incident but later in private.. not now..
Sala itna bara likha tha, light chali gaeee! Urgghh!
Jst be cool.. and happy!
Carpe Diem!
______________________________________________
Kismet donon key liye kharab kyun ho gi be?

Hope - أمل · Answer

Aww thats sweet of you about not changing your ways...Cool Fundamentalist gave you a great answer

Salaam

lil_miss · Answer

you sound young so i think what you are doing is great...shes not a burden..i think its so wrong that your family are being like that. I think you acted like that beacuse their pressuring you and making you think like them but your not like that. i dont think you have to make it up, just carry on helping her she needs you because she hasent got anyone else x x x x

Eren · Answer

Call a docter sorry i could'nt read this i was so bored

Anonymous · Answer

Me not understand what you say but will read again

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my heart, it hurts (plz read the whole thing and help will you guys)?

12 Answers