My legs look like that of a Georgian grand piano what can I do to rectify this?

Tent skirts.

RScott

It'll all be better when you've spat that kid out honey

(((Hugs)))

...but in the meantime, take some celery extract tablets and drink LOTS of water. Oedaema in pregnancy can be really dangerous if it's associated with high blood pressure...so cut down your salt intake radically and have that checked very week till the swelling goes away.but otherwise it's just an unsightly pain in the rear end.

Try to put your feet up above the level of your heart for a least two-three hours a day (yeah I know...with a toddler and a part time job likes that's gonna happen...but you know...just do your best darling)

And get the fat slob to pamper you a bit...massages help eliminate fluids and wastes...warm baths, foot spas...

You're carrying his geneticfuckingmaterial...the prick owes you!!!

Probably not a whole lot. Just remember that personality is what really matters. My High School sweetheart always said she had "Legs by Steinway and Dishwater hair". None of that really mattered to me since her personality was so great she just came across as a beautiful person.

You can tan in the sun till you're as black as one and you can whiten your teeth and apply sugar to the edges between so you get localized cavities and then smile a lot. Also, gaining about 200 pounds would help....this shouldn't be a problem if you follow the same diet as your fatslobofa husband.

Put your feet up, darling, for at least a few hours a day, cut out the caffeine and cut down on your salt intake, and give birth to that puppy.

Absolutely take darling Eartha's advice!

That should do it...hang in there, girl!!!

(((Scuzzy)))

Practice!

Firm, chiseled and a nice Dutch oiled finish?

Sounds nice if just a little unresponsive.

Chopsticks off your legs, sweetheart. If that doesn't work I recommend overdosing on Tylenol Codine.

XO

You could marry Seamus from Family Guy, he'd prolly worship you ;)

Dress up your body as a keyboard.