My wife threatens to put a knife in my butt?

tell her to get back in the kitchen!

Well I don't know about this one. The visual is a bit worrying; where does she get such ideas from? I mean, I could totally understand if she threatened to make you wear your dinner (when you come home late) or tip a bucket of water over your head (when you won't get out of bed), but anything about knives is just too much and never a joke. Legally, even if she thinks it is a joke, you could take her to Court for verbal (threatening) abuse; I don't think the Police would treat it like a joke. People seem to be reaching for knives as a way to settle domestic disputes too easily. I hope your (easily impressed) children were not listening to all this; very disturbing.

Tell her you want to take her to see some butt-sticking knives for her consideration.

Take her out to dinner at BeniHana or some hibachi restaurant where they do fancy knife work.

When they are doing the chopping, get on your knees and beg her that you want this to be the closest your butt ever gets to a knife. Smile real big.

If that doesn't work, definitely get the Kevlar.

You have a better understanding of how serious it is...Is she ever actually violent (hitting, shoving)

Why do we think its cute/ok for women to be violent to men but the other way around is reprehensible?

If she is truly joking then joke back (you wouldn't want to hurt my fine A** its plan B for bring home a pay cheque)

I'm always threatening to put things in my wife's butt.

Kevlar briefs

Sleep on your back and stop pis*ing off your wife.

Seriously.

LMAO....in the butt?? Ahahahahahahahahaha....

Sounds like a bit of a butt fetish personal issue to me....

is she really serious about that?

do you think she can do that?

always take it in your asshole...so that no harm should occur at the sides lol.

Well, sorry.

Try not to making her mad.

i think she will not do this...because she has never done this before. Did she?

LOL! Well it sounds like you two have some issues. Good luck with that!!!

well....umm...go to a marriage guidence counleling i guess..maybe she doesnt like you the way u like her. or shes just trying to be funny. but if i were u i would make CALMLY discuss it with her..dont be harsh

Hide the cutlery and try to remain seated as much as possible.