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Do adult girl-friends constantly text their boyfriends when they have a guys night out these days?
My husband went out with his friendly last night, and they both told him how lucky he is to have me. I'm 33 and my husband, 34, is a stay-at-home dad with a 5yr old child. I'm a strong, argumentative person most men wouldn't date, much less marry, because as one of his friends said, i have an "ego". I know science and history and it's hard for me to shut up and pretend to agree with men just save their "ego". Also, while i make less money than other men in my field - computer science -- i make more money than most men. So I'm not a desirable female to date by any stretch of the imagination, and feel lucky to have a husband that can take me as I am and likes me because i'm not stupid and weak -- not despite of that fact -- and who's career was already screwed up so he didn't mind quitting his job to stay home while i work.
But apparently, now that i'm married, I'm the envy of the other men and "proof the universe still makes sense". Why? because i told my husband he needed to go out with his friends (I can't be his only source of adult conversation! I'd go nuts if I was the only adult he ever talked to! He needs to go out!) and then when he was out, i didn't text him even once.
One of the other guy's girlfriend kept texting him with "why aren't you not responding to my texts" all night. Now i know that girl and she's a Spanish-American (they text a lot as a culture) who's own friends tell her "stop texting when you're hanging out with your friends." She needs to be told by her boyfriend "I'm not replying because I'm having a guys night out, I'll reply to all your texts when it's over." But of course, men being men, he doesn't say a word, just assumes that's all part of the dating experience and probably thinks less of "girls" due to her behavior and his inability to speak up about it.
The other one's girlfriend thought he was cheating on her the whole night and emo-raged at him over text. Now, there is a reason for this: he had caught her cheating on him. So having cheated, it's natural she's jealous and afraid he will cheat back.
But do you really need to *text* to check up on a boyfriend? if you really thought he was cheating, wouldn't you pick up the phone and call? What does a text tell you, really? A guy can text in any position or place, like from a bed. And what cheating man was ever rehabilitated by a endless stream of emo-texts?
But given how everyone is texting all the time these days, i began to wonder: is this normal now? Do adult women really text / call their men non-stop? Do they really think this creates "closeness" and leads to a happy marriage -- or any marriage at all? Or anything positive at all? is this just what women do to "keep in touch" with men these days?
So if you're dating and you're not in high school or college -- do you text (female) or receive texts (male) during a guy's night out with other guys? Is this normal behavior you observe with your friends? Or is it just that one of my husband's friends is dating a texting addict and the other a stupid cheating crazy-woman and i shouldn't pay attention to those two?
Given that i managed with great luck to live life my own way -- with a stay-at-home-dad and all that -- i find it hard to tell what's normal these days so I'm asking here -- is it now normal for a adult female (not a 12yr old or a college student) to constantly text her boyfriend and demand instant replies from him? is this really the way most people do it these days?
How do men cope with that?
Had i given up my career, i'd end up either not working (and probably insecure and texting -- come to think of it -- because I wouldnt' want to be homeless) or I'd end up losing my skills and doing Excel for a living.
As for the rest of it, he's the decision maker about the house including child-care and discipline. Often i'd be softer on the kid than he is, but i respect his sphere and male way of teaching - that reminds of a karate sensie teaching.
Other than that, he really is a man who "challenges you,doesnt back down,doesnt let you walk all over him,and grabs you and throws you on the beds and takes control during love making".
You see, men like you are, I would have to tip-toe around. I can never prove you wrong using science or evidence because that would crush your ego and make your little dick deflate, so I'd sit there quietly looking at you thinking you're an idiot. So yes, I want a man like him that challenges me and doesn't back down or wilt like you would.
2 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
yes couples do a lot of texting nowadays.women are very jealous and insecure because of being hurt so many times in past relationships.
u think since you have such a big ego you like the fact that your hubby lets you be dominant.lets you be the bread winner,decision maker, and lets you be control during sex.when deep down inside what you really want is a man that challenges you,doesnt back down,doesnt let you walk all over him,and grabs you and throws you on the beds and takes control during love making?
- 5 years ago
Look, in your life, your BOUND to make mistakes. That's the first thing you have to acknowledge right off the bat. Secondly, nobody nor any relationship in this world is perfect, every single relationship has its imperfections, but as people, we strive to try and make our relationships work, otherwise we'd end up being lonely people. Now, I can't say whether or not you'll be completely healed of his wrongdoing, but I can say that, in order for the relationship to work, you have to be able to trust that person. Trust requires intamicy and a genuine vulnerability you have with the other person. No matter HOW much you love that person, you have to be willing to fogive that person and be wiling to forgive yourself. There is no easy answer to it, except you guys are going to have to talk it out and be real with one another. Say how you really felt, how it made you angry that he cheated and vice versa he might say the same thing, but be ready and willing to listen. After you talk it out, maybe it might be best to get some counseling together to see if you can work out these issues. Ultimately, the relationsihp is going to be bulit on love, so if you truly do love the man and your willing to let go, then start from there and see where it takes you.