What are some of the most effective ways to rid social anxiety, insecurity and obsessive thinking?

hi i use to have social anxiety so i can relate and am almost 25 btw too.ive always had it but didnt know what my issue was called but finally decided to fix myself on my own about 3 months ago. now my anxiety thank god is practically gone.well what i did was i got a journal and began doing CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) online.its good you dont have a job because thats what helped me and is still helping me just work on myself.anyways i went on youtube and this guys videos helped me get over it.basically i started from the intro and listened to every single one of his english videos and it helped me on more issues than i thought i had.just made me an overall wiser,confident, happier person.so on my journal i wrote down everything i learned and started writing down my thoughts and changing them to more rational thoughts which made my anxiety go away.anxiety/anger/fear comes from having control issues.to change this i just realized a i had to LET GO.you have to let go of the need to control people,places and things that are out of your control.you must let go in order to not care too much what people say,do or think of you.you know who you are so doesnt matter what bad things people may think of you because you will still be YOU no matter what they say of you.their opinions and negative thoughts are just that.they are thoughts..doesnt mean it is true and not everyone thinks the same way.people that think badly/negative of you dont love and accept you for YOU so they have nothing good to say anyways so there opinions dont really matter.what matters is what YOU think of yourself and what you know of yourself and what people that you know love and accept you think of you.remember that people that mind dont matter and the people that matter dont mind.so that means that people that mind you for YOU and your flaws,people that cant accept you DONT matter(their opinions dont matter). people that think good and positive of you matter though because they love and accept you just the way you are flaws and all.the way to be confident is to love yourself.you learn to love yourself by accepting yourself as a flawed human being.you must realize we are ALL flawed human beings so that mean nobody is above you or below you.we are all equal and so you shouldnt care what someone that ISNT better than you has to say or think of you.SO theres alot more to say..it seemed like i was never gonna get better and i wanted to give up but i didnt.improvement is very slow at first but eventually it speeds up so stay positive and be patient.remember that we are humans and as long as we are alive we were created to handle ANYTHING that comes our way so you can get through this obstacle in your life just like you have gotten through anything else in your past even if you feel like you cant it isnt true .things always DO get better and just know that everything happens for a reason so whenever something bad happens its always really like a blessing in disguise

heres the link http://www.youtube.com/user/mizike1122#p/u/111/WFJ...

if you have any questions or need to know more go ahead and email me :)

Go to: http://ecouch.anu.edu.au/welcome Select "social anxiety" for free Cognitive Behavio(u)ral Therapy. An exercise which may help you is called "Act as If." When you are in a social situation, act as if you are outgoing. Talk more; smile at people, ask questions, speak in a normal or excited tone, not a meek tone. Watch some of your more outgoing peers, and imitate the style of their social behavior. (PRETEND that you are an ACTOR, PLAYING a PART). Research shows that when you "act as if" continually, your image of yourself begins to conform to your new behavior. In this case, you will gain self-esteem and self-confidence, and begin to see yourself as socially normal, not shy. You will become more socially successful, and this will motivate you to continue your new social behavior until it becomes a habit. A form of therapy is to go somewhere that nobody knows you, and deliberately make an utter fool of yourself: put on a paper hat, and yell out: "I'm queen/king of America!", or something else ridiculous, (make up your own - have some fun, safely) then get back in the taxi, (warn the driver of your intentions, first) or car, and leave. People will point, and say: "Look at that idiot". Or, possibly in the company of a friend, or family member, on a different train, or bus route to your regular one, call out the names, or numbers of all the stops. It will teach you that, although it isn't actually pleasant, (EXPECT MODERATE DISCOMFORT/EMBARRASSMENT) you will survive; be stronger for the experience, and the next time (should you need to repeat this type of therapy) will be considerably easier. Remember: "A fear avoided is a fear strengthened; a fear faced is a fear reduced." Regard it as your final test: once you have accomplished it, the barrier will be broken; just don't go too far, the other way! Learn to laugh at yourself, and give a big, cheesy grin when others see you do something foolish, as we all do, occasionally. It is endearing, if you don't do it too often. Use positive affirmations: for example: "I am very likable and other people feel comfortable around me".

Write down all of your self limiting beliefs; then write down, or print, in large type/capitalisation, the positive counter of them, (exact opposite) and repeat them and imprint them into your mind. Put it in a prominent position, where you will see it regularly. Most importantly: Force yourself to approach somebody and initiate some sort of communication. Start out small by asking the time, or directions and gradually go bigger. Although there are anti-anxiety medications (anxiolytics) available, these come with risks, and the possibility of side effects, habituation, even addiction, and withdrawal problems, and are unsuitable for young people. Try having a cup of "Tension Tamer", (from supermarket tea, or health food aisles) or make some at home, and cool, then bottle, and drink as needed. C(h)amomile tea tastes better. As with all herbal/green teas, use lemon/lime, and/or a little sweetener (NOT ARTIFICIAL!!!) but no cream, or milk. Xylitol, or Stevia is preferable, from health food stores. Valerian has also been recommended, but some people experience "valerian hangovers". Ensure you know how you react to it, before doing something potentially dangerous, like going out on the roads. The idea is to use the above products like water wings, to provide initial, short term support, while you become proficient in those techniques. Use a relaxation method daily, like http://www.drcoxconsulting.com/managing-stress.htm... or http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/mindbody/a/Meditat... or http://www.wikihow.com/ Meditate or Tai Chi, Qi Gong, or yoga. Give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. It is free via the searchbar at http://www.mercola.com/ "EFT" & "EFT therapists" or www.tapping.com (13 free videos). Professional is best. - There is a version for use in public places, (if you want to, you can claim to have a headache, as you massage/lightly tap your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind: "Even though I suffer from social anxiety, I deeply and completely accept myself."

meds, man