Third baby? Will it take away from my son w/ downsyndrome's attention? Very depressed... Please help.?

This an a question only you can truly answer. I think it is natural for all parents to worry about this to some degree. I was nervous just to have a second because at the time we decided to try again my son was soooo busy & I was afraid that it would be a huge adjustment for him not only after the baby arrived, but for me to be tired & sick & not feeling like doing all the things we normally did (as I am usually VERY active with him). That is why I waited. I was concerned about waiting, as I was getting older already & we had a number of miscarriages before we had him & we had three more before I got pregnant with my second - so it was realistic for me tobe concerned about the toll that takes as well....but I refuse to sacrifice any part of parenting for one child in pursuit of a child that isn't here yet - if that makes sense. So I waited until he was two. I still want another but I will wait again. I truly do believe our babies are meant to be babies for a while & when we get pregnant again soon, we cut that baby-hood short for them. I think at some point it will be good for you to have another, but I don't think right now is a great time likely if he isn't even crawling yet, as being pregnant will put a tax on you physically & it sounds like you still do a lot of hands-on care for him. As far as being depressed about it - I would look into seeing a counselor. Delaying having another baby shouldn't make anyone depressed honestly. It isn't' like saying "I had this dream of having "x" number of children & that will NEVER happen now" like maybe if you had a hysterectomy - we are just talking about delaying. Believe me, with all the miscarriages, etc I KNOW what it is like to have to come to terms with the idea that it may NEVER happen & THAT is difficult to swallow...but this isn't what you are saying I don't think...this is more about timing. As SOON as I had my first I wanted another. I told my husband this too. I had the same urge return since my youngest (4 months) has been a week old. My husband calls it my "baby molecule" and says it has infected my brain - LOL. I doooooo want more, but I also know that I am blessed even if that never happens. It does not & will not be something that I would allow to effect my enjoyment of the children I have or to make me feel unfulfilled. I started this journey thinking I wanted 6 kids...then I went to the place of thinking I would be unlikely to have any...and now I am at a place where I think it is a blessing to have whatever you have.... Believe me, counseling can help you immensely in working through these feelings, in deciding how you want to proceed & in feeling like you have gained some perspective & some insight into yourself & WHY you want another so badly that it would depress you to wait a little longer.

GL whatever you decide. You sound like an amazing momma & your children are blessed to have you in their life. I am SURE you will find the answer that will bring you peace with this. (((hugs)))

Having an child with special needs always adds to pregnancy concerns. But, I think that he will be happy to have a new baby brother or sister, and maybe as the new baby develops, he'll feel amazed at how he can help the baby learn new things or motivated to try new things.

However, I hope you will be able to feel more a peace about not being pregnant yet. The Lord loves you, though, and perhaps it just isn't time yet for your little boy to be a big brother. I know it can be hard to accept not being pregnant when you want to be. Maybe you need to talk with your doctor about how you're feeling. If you need a little medical help to overcome your depression, then use it for a while. Simply taking care of a special needs child can be draining, no matter how much you love them. Try taking one day at a time, thinking of all the good things about not yet being pregnant, but also looking forward to being pregnant in the future.

I hope this will help! I'm sure your daughter and son love you very much!

Your son will always be your sweet little gorgeous boy - even when you have another baby. I know it's hard to look after a child with special needs and a newborn - but I promise you that it's doable and that you will not regret it for one minute.

In fact - I think it would be good for your son to have a younger brother/sister to play with.

I personally think you should have another baby without feeling any guilt whatsoever. You are clearly a very good mother and you will continue to be so.

Wishing you the very best of luck.

I think deep down you know it's too soon for him. He still needs you all to himself at the moment. When the time is right I'm sure he'll love being a big brother but at the moment he's loving being a baby. My girl is ten months now and I'm gonna wait til she 2.5 to 3 to have another. It's just my personal opinion that while she's still a "baby" she needs my attention. Many people prefer to have them close together. Really, you need to make the decision yourself. If you choose to wait, how do you get over it? By realising you made the decision for the right reasons.

i don't think you should have another baby. having a child with down syndrome is a lot of work, and they require constant attention, probably even more as they get older. so in order to ensure your son is cared for entirely, wait a while for the next one, or don't have another at all.

It sounds to me like your instinct as a mother is directing you in the right direction....

It's too soon.