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This is just a draft. How is it?
Bam!!! "Oww." I groaned and sat up from where I had falled in the floor. I stood up and straightened my tank top from where it rode up my waist while I was asleep. Throwing the blanket on the bed I checked my phone for the time. "****!" It was ten thirty which meant I has overslept and missed school. Oh well, one day this week, no big deal. I trudged to the bathroom to take a nice hot shower.
I got out and wrapped a towel around my body. On my way to my closet I hit the play button on my radio and the speakers immediatly began playing 'Punk Rock 101' by Bowling for Soup. I pulled a strapless, black minidress from my closet and a par of wased out ripped skinny jeans from a drawer and hastily put them on. My phone vibrated from where I had set it back down. I checked it as it vibrated again. It was my ever so wonderful boyfriend, Ryan. I pressed the talk button and smushed the phone to my ear. "Hey baby!"
"So I take it you not a school?" He chuckled.
"Overslept. You wanna meet?"
"Be at your place if twenty." He hung up and I slipped on some black stilettos and proceeded to dry and tousel my hair which took exactly twenty minutes.
I'm only 13 so please be as harsh as needed. Covering up the truth will get me nowhere.
"Be at your place if twenty." He hung up and I slipped on some black stilettos and proceeded to dry and tousel my hair which took exactly twenty minutes.
There was a knock at the door and I ran to get it. Behond the door was Ryan. His dirty blond hair was fasionably messy, just the way I liked it. he wrapped his arms around my waist and bent down slightly to give me a kiss. I felt him smile. "Hey." I whispered.
"You ready?" His hazel eyes had a mysterious glint to them.
"Let me just grab my phone." I went to grab my phone but turned around when he followed. "Unless you want to stay here." I wrapped my arms securely around his neck. "My dad won't be home 'till one."
His answer was pushing me up against the nearest wall and kissing down my neck. I enclosed my legs around his waist and began to pull his shirt up. His kisses kept going lower until there was no bare skin left to kiss that wasn't obscured by my top. Slowly, he pulled it down letting some of his finger brush agai
4 Answers
- SOSLv 61 decade agoFavorite Answer
Pretty short. Too short to tell much, except you write something like "par" when you mean "pair" and "a" when you mean "at" a little; read it and you'll see what I mean.
No big flaws. Write more.
- 5 years ago
So the draft is at four 2day? Well four is not a well time four me 2morrow...I say at five:30 is a well time....four me is that cool? I say five da earliest I have Track Practice after institution & I do not get the complete week off like plenty of u men... Only Thursday & Friday off... So is five a groovy time...I cud prolly be on four:30 perhaps we see...
- Anonymous1 decade ago
The beginning doesn't really grab me. Waking up and getting ready is a boring way to start it. I have no idea where this story goes, but I think it would be more interesting if I knew the plot.
Answer mine?
