english english essay feel free to correct error thank you?

Question

All College Students should have a part time Job
	The truth is that college is getting costly, and if you don’t have financial help it’s going to be hard to get education and stay in college. For some students; that with low household incomes, taking a job is not a matter of choice, but necessity. So you need to work to save money for college tuitions fees or even books. In the current economy it is not such a bad thing for teens to understand the value of hard work, and what it takes to run a home under the current financial conditions. So all current college students should get a part time jobs.
	There are benefits for working as part time student is that you learn to develop sense of independence and responsibility which are difficult to develop without activities other than studying. Time management also play key roll it shows student that they are capable of keeping balance between their school work and job. Choose a job that you can enjoy and will help you in future career in which will be able to put all the skills you will learn into good practice. For example working eight hours at wal-mart packing and loading boxes in truck is quite different than working as bank taller for eight hours. You will still have enough energy to go home and do your schools work. Thus, you will get into good habit of putting in lots of effort to earn it, with extra money in your pocket you can pay for your college tuitions, books or even help in your family income.
	Money management skill will also be able to budget with ease. Majority of student at university always have problem in budgeting as it is apparent that all student have financial problem. Surely handling money from at this age will prepare you for this. Unemployed student often create a substantial amount of debt on their shoulders as its borrowed money from bank or government. Imagine not having any debt? However, if you had a job while being in school, you would have saved up your money knowing that it would lead you to community college or even university. You would continue to work, knowing the value of hard earned cash and spend it wisely to ensure that you do not land yourself in huge amounts of debt after graduating. Instead you would be able to enjoy moving from one job to the next with higher salary. You would be set for life!
	There are negative thing, but if student use their time management skill will ease you to balance. For example, full time student have negative impact on their academic performance, by working significant number of hours. But if the student’s just work limited number of hours 15 hours a week it will have positive impact on their  academic performance. Students who work more hours I suggests you that, if possible try to prudent to find other ways of financing college so you can complete your degree, and maintain their academic performance and reap long time benefits of college education.

? · Accepted Answer

get education  “Education” is a noun Nouns almost never stand alone. Depending on the context, you should have a word like an;this;that;some;the etc or it can stand independent of these words if it is plural “Educations” here I think you want “an education” since you are talking about education in general. and stay in college. For some students; that with low household incomes, “That” refers to one- example “That student”. You are referring to many students so you should use “those”- Those students- For some students, those with low….
taking a job is not a matter of choice, but necessity. Necessity is a noun and one that should not stand alone, it should read-a necessity
 So you need to work to save money for college tuitions fees If you are going to use “tuition” and “fees” together- You are using one as a noun and one as a description. “fees” is your noun-What kind of fees? Tuition Fees- Descriptions are never plural in English.
or even books. In the current economy it is not such a bad thing for teens to understand the value of hard work, and what it takes to run a home under the current financial conditions. So all current college students should get a part time jobs. Here you have an inconsistency “a” is being applied to “jobs”- “A” means 1—The “S” in Jobs means more than 1. Since you are talking about many students, I recommend eliminating the “a”—All students should get part-time jobs. 
There are benefits for working as part time student is Here you have another inconsistency and a little confusion. 1. Inconsistency- “1 benefit is”  “several benefits are” Suggestion-The benefits of working are. 2.Confusion - You could have said “There are benefits for working part-time” and then make a list A) develop a sense of… B) Learn time management…. Or you could have said “The benefits of working part-time are… “ and again make your list. It seems you have confused the two of them.
that you learn to develop sense of independence and responsibility which are This is inconsistent because you are confusing two things. The subject of your sentence is “sense” which is singular and it really doesn’t matter how many concepts you add on to it after the word “of” your verb must agree with “sense”  The sentence should read  You develop a sense of independence and responsibility which is difficult to…  difficult to develop without activities other than studying. Time management also play key roll Time management is one thing, you would replace “time management” with the pronoun“it”. I always remind my students that HE/SHE/IT =S it seems the best way to clear the confusion of when to use “S” in a verb (there are exceptions though) your sentence should read “Time management also plays a …”     There are two different types of “roll” and you are using the wrong one, you want to use the word “role”  
it shows student that they are capable You are being inconsistent “student” is singular “they” represents something plural. There are a couple of ways to fix this, here is the easiest way
“it shows students that they are…” of keeping balance between their school work and job. Choose a job that you can enjoy and will help you in future career in which will be able to put all the skills you will learn into good practice.
 
I corrected everything in red in MS word but I guess you can only use black on yahoo answers. Also I couldn't fit all of the corrections here,Im going to post this on my English grammar help blog  so you can see it with the comments in red

http://english-fluency.com/blog/
Whenever you have questions about grammar or writing, I'm always happy to answer them on my new Blog
Also visit www.english-fluency.com for very unique effective and free English fluency and listening comprehension exercises.

Anonymous · Answer

will you need to change "15" into words :)

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english english essay feel free to correct error thank you?

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