A relationship can not be successful without this one thing, what is it?

being compatible

(that results in them being truly interested in each other)

After 20 years of happy marriage to the same women, I would have to say that honesty IS the most important thing to ANY relationship. When I was young I focused on beauty like a lot of my friends. Once the initial physical attraction had worn off, I soon found myself in a miserable situation if the person was dishonest because I never knew when they were telling the truth.

The reason my marriage is a success is because when my wife tells me she is going somewhere I know for a FACT that is where she will be. If I ask her a question, no matter how much my feelings might get hurt in the process, I WILL get a true answer.

Sure, communication is very important. But if the person is dishonest whatever they communicate is suspect to begin with. Physical attraction is important too but if my wife were in a car accident and horribly disfigured, I would still love her deeply. Sharing the same faith is important as well. But how many times have you heard of a woman who believes in God and her new husband doesn't, only to hear that through their marriage he has come around? Financial security is necessary but money can't buy love and there have been millions of couples who have had successful relationships with little money to thier name. But the moment your partner lies to you is the moment it all comes to a screeching stop. You may forgive them but in the back of your mind you will always have your doubts.

There's no limit to how successful your relationship can become as long as you keep in mind one essential point - you can't do it alone. Without a serious and sincere commitment from each partner, relationships cannot grow and become successful. Relationships can't grow with the effort of only one partner - when that's the case, count on seeing the relationship dissolve shortly. Don't forget - it takes two to tango! Even though there are going to be issues in any relationship, the strength of its foundation will help determine if it can withstand them. Here are some tested techniques for establishing such a strong foundation.

Don't lie

The first essential foundation of any relationship is honesty. People in a relationship share their innermost thoughts and feelings with each other, but how can you do that if your partner lies and cannot be trusted? The things you tell her make up a tapestry that symbolizes not only your life, but your relationship together. Each lie is like a huge hole - meaning that the relationship is weak and incomplete. A relationship's future is based on the quality of the foundation that's built for it. If the foundation is made up of lies, then there's little hope for any future because the relationship will collapse the first time it's put to the test.

Relationships thrive on integrity

Someone who lies lacks integrity, but it goes deeper - integrity has to do with matching your words to your deeds as well. Thus, you show that you've got a problem with integrity when you break promises or don't live up to other commitments. Your integrity is reflected in your actions every day, and how those actions match your words. Don't think that just attending to the major commitments you make will convince people you've got integrity. If you display poor integrity in minor issues, sooner or later you're going to jeopardize the relationship because she's going to wonder if you can be trusted with something as important as her heart. The faith that's so important to a relationship doesn't just spring up - it's nurtured by your constant attention to keeping your commitments large and small. As you keep on doing this as time goes on, she will trust you more and more and the two of you will grow ever closer.

Attend to her feelings

Part of the "work" of making a relationship thrive is paying attention to your partner even when you'd rather be doing something else. When she's talking to you, it's because she wants you to know something. How will you learn it if you stare at her and nod your head without actually processing what she's saying, and thinking about it? She may be upset about what she's telling you, but don't get excited - remain collected, but if it's appropriate, comfort her.

Cool, calm and collected is always the best way to be

If your objective is to win on those (hopefully rare) occasions when you fight, rather than to settle the differences you're experiencing, you're going to damage your relationship. What's more important - winning the argument or strengthening your relationship? Proving you're better, or understanding her point of view and why she's upset? If you concentrate on solving the problem instead of victory at all costs, the relationship will strengthen and grow.

One last thing: it may seem trite, but tell her you love her. Tell her often, and while you're at it, tell her how beautiful she is - especially after she's spent a lot of time making herself look just right to go out somewhere with you. Make sure she always knows that she's loved and she'll never want to risk that love by walking out!

Shokat Saifi enjoys helping men improve their relationship and manage the problems that they may experience in relating with and dating women.

Teamwork. No one individual can hold up a relationship more than the other, it's a two-way street all the way. Both persons need one another (both active & willing to WORK for something worthwhile) to have a strong & successful relationship. Sure there are plenty of couples out there where one person is not pulling their weight as they should, so the other picks up the slack but eventually that person will get extremely tired and fed up and the relationship then begins to crumble. Both individuals have their own individual purpose only to have something so beautiful & valuable emerge when joined forces.

Well, I hear that you think there is one key answer, but I don't think it's really as simple as that. I'll describe the range of things that I think are essential, but which is the most important depends on how you're looking at the issue AND the individuality of the people concerned.

1. Loving and respecting oneself. Without this, one spends all the time trying to be who you think the other person wants you to be, so nothing really 'meets'.

2. The capacity for empathy, being able to get a real sense of how someone else is feeling without having to experience that as a criticism or praise of oneself

3. Feeling capable of surviving alone - so you do not NEED the other person but are choosing to be with them

EDIT: I'm really curious about the thumbs-downs. Almost every answer has tried to answer the question from their own viewpoint, and I can't think what the TDs are meant to indicate. Should any of those responsible care to enlighten us, I'm sure most of us would like to know.

Communication

Communication

2 people

Friendship. Friendship enhances the comfort level between two people and doesn't let communication gaps to arise. It can provide a sound basis to your relationship. As the tense liking & attraction you have for each other may not survive for long, but friendship does. No matter how much you love each other, your differences can pull you apart (trust me, i know all too well). Friendship ensures that you like each others company forever.

Often reminding each other how much you care about each other and how much you love each other! Definitely! You can't be gone all day and come home and be abusive! Most americans today have a better chance of winning the lottery, instead of keeping a healthy and good relationship. The answer is definitely this.

Two People