My wife has a serious internet addiction that dates to before she met me, is there hope?

In answer to your question, no, it is not smothering your wife to expect more out of your marriage. This sounds like a major problem.

Your problem is that your wife does not seem to realize she even has a problem. It is hard enough to deal with someone who knows he/she has a bad habit. Your first step needs to be getting your wife to recognize she has a problem!

I agree with Chase, who already commented. You need to have a very serious conversation with your wife. So far you've suggested taking a vacation from technology, but I don't think that will work... It's like telling an overweight person to go on a crash diet. Crash diets usually don't work because the dieter immediately goes back to old habits once the diet is over. Your wife needs to change her lifestyle forever.

In this conversation, like Chase said, you are going to need to explain three things to your wife: (1) that you think she has a bad internet habit and that it is affecting your marriage/making you unhappy, that (2) you are willing to help her change her ways, and (3) what the consequences will be if she is not willing to change.

Before the conversation, you are going to need to think about what to say. As far as (3), what are you are going to do if she won't change. Are you willing to leave? If so, you need to explain that to your wife so that she can make an informed decision about whether or not to change. You need to make the seriousness of this situation clear to her. You should also think about (2)... It would help if you could suggest solutions to your wife for changing. Don't suggest going cold turkey and giving up the internet altogether; maybe negotiate on a schedule/given amount of time that is acceptable to both of you for her to be online each day. The thing is, you can't change your wife. All you can do is explain what your problem is and leave it to her to decide whether or not to change.

Because this situation is so serious, I suggest that you approach a counsellor about what exactly to say to your wife before the conversation. You're frustrated and a counsellor might be able to help figure out how to say things in a way that will best help the situation. Good luck.

They did a study (my brother is a marriage counselor / psychiatrist) and most couples - believe it or not - spend 15 minutes or less with each other every day.

That is the medium amount of time - some spend less.

Remember, a lot of people are having the same issue with their spouse. My husband is addicted to the internet also. Sometimes, I can go 10 - 12 hours without hearing from him - even though we are only 1 room apart in out house.

I feel for you.

Tell her that her family needs her. Tell her she is going to need to get some help, and that there is more to life then the internet.

Your children are growing and they are going to need her more - to participate in their lives.

I think she sounds like she is addicted and needs to go to counseling. Ask her to go.

If she won't go, go by yourself so that you can find some coping skills and get some ideas on how to improve the life of your family.

Peace.

You need to have a serious talk with your wife. Tell her that it's the Internet or me, make your choice sweetheart..! Cos I am walking .!!!!!! She needs to get a life and grow up.

who are you to judge? you are on the computer too. I have family and friends far away and we go on e mails to chat with each other. My husband does the same. We have old friends and new ones too.

NOPE there is not hope look at me, sitting in the computer while my husband sleeps ha ha ha

Take her out or a holiday when you are free, maybe go

for a picnic, excersise, walk somethign to get her away ok :)

Anything is possible with God.

Ill be praying for you two but you have to do your part also. pray, trust and have faith.