How to get a man to open up?

Question

I am looking for ways to encourage my boyfriend to open up to me. I understand that men are a little less likely to want to sit and discuss their feelings. I know this is a common problem for a lot of guys because they have been told their whole lives to 'suck it up' and 'be a man', etc... Nevertheless, we are at a critical point in our relationship and I need help being supportive of my boyfriend while he tries to figure out a balance. I feel that communication is a crucial factor when it comes to long-lasting relationships.

I have talked to him about expressing himself more and opening up to me, but I need actual 'actions' I can do, or ways that I can phrase what I want to say to him so that he would be more apt to open up.

For example, I will ask him questions (even things that I feel as simple, basic questions, but not to him I guess!) and will receive no answer. Like, "Do you want to watch a movie with me?" or "You want to take the kids on a walk?" Or he will say he does not care or shrug  his shoulders. I want him to care! Or at least respond to me in some way, shape or form!

I would appreciate any helpful answers.

AintNoSunshine · Answer

He sounds like kind of a slug if he doesn't even know if he wants to watch a movie or not but  #1 - stop suggesting things to do. If you're always like - let's do this, let's do that, he probably feels bullied and emasculated. Do your own thing and see what he suggests. Stop trying to draw him out.  Also realize that you are doing some major projecting onto him. I can guarantee he is not trying to "figure out a balance".  Men don't do that, they just live.  That's what's awesome about guys.

Anonymous · Answer

i don't think there is nothing wrong with it. if a man does not want to open up, he doesn't have to. Maybe it was just the way he is? ever think about that? can't change the way a man regardless the cause. Also, when he shrugs or does not care, he literally means it doesn't matter. stop making a big deal out of nothing

EDIT- to girls, stop downing my answer because your sexist or been in the same situation, also, the girl who answered to answers below me. I think the lady was asking how to get a man to open up, not play with his head

once upon a time · Answer

talk to him about it.. i talked to my bf about it and it was frustrating to a point where i said i'd leave if he does not show affection towards me. he didnt change so i ended up leaving. but he came back and now hes the best man ever. good luck. sometimes men gotta realize what they lost before they can make changes.

ab · Answer

Red flag.  He is just not ready for a relationship plain and simple.

Anonymous · Answer

He doesn't care.
He'll do these things if it makes you happy.

If you want him to care it needs to involve sex, food, sleep, or money.

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How to get a man to open up?

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