I love my best friend, and we are both guys. What should I do?

Wow, I can relate to your story, although I am far from 16. "I am 70% sure he isn't gay". You already know what to do or, what not to do. I would not initiate anything. You know how you feel about him and, if you really love him, you will love him forever, regardless of how many years go by or how many lovers you and him have separately from each other. Love is the best possible emotion you can feel - although I know that it must drive you absolutely nuts at times. If you do tell him how you feel, you are running the risk of putting something between you that is not pleasant. You've been friends for years and he may already have some inkling of how you feel, or even be up for some fooling around with you. But does he love you that way, or more like a brother? You won't know this until he says or does something special to indicate it. You don't want to take advantage of this by having just a horny moment with him. If he's primarily straight, he may go along with it and then be so embarrassed that he would have a hard time facing you again - no matter how you feel about him.

So, bottom line, I think you should leave things as they are and start spending time with more and different friends. Don't cut him off exactly, but maybe start by inviting his girlfriend along on some outing. If he seems unsure about it, or doesn't want to include her, then he may be feeling some things about you, too. But, again, it is difficult to gauge this without coming out to him. I am so afraid that you will be hurt by this, but it is a risk that you sound like you are willing to take.

I did take the step and tell my best friend that I loved him and he never spoke to me again. It broke my heart and taught me a valuable lesson.

I am not saying that this will happen to you, but admitting something so deep - he may not be ready for it. Why don't you keep things as they are for now and just see how things go. You are secure in your feelings for him, but he may not understand it and not be ready to hear it himself. Just take it easy and see where things go. If you do tell him, be prepared for the emotional rejection, but also be prepared for him to say that he still wants to be your friend - no matter what!

The love you have for him is called "unrequieted" love. It means that right now, it's all one-sided. You will never be happy unless you both feel the same way. You probably are only happy when you are with him, right? Imagine not having him around. Just be careful and guard your heart. Be prepared for the worst - that way you won't be so upset if something other than what you wish should happen.

Good luck and let us know how things go,

Bret

We'll that's super sweet and I can relate in the exact same way a few days ago I went on a trip with him and we had to sleep on the floor next to each other and I never really though of it until he got really close and I loved it he's my best friend and I'm personally a very touchy/freely kind of person I love being near someone specially him and I have almost the same exact problom except he is pretty homophobic although I think he only acts that way so I don't think he's gay... My answer to you is to just tell him nomatter how it turns out if he's your real best friend he won't tell anyone else and maybe he will like like you back... :) good luck

You sound like such a sweet guy! If hes honestly saying he loves you but not in front of other people, I think maybe you should tell him. If hes that good a friend, even if he doesn't like you he should still be your friend and even though it will hurt you sound like such a great guy and you would accept it and be grateful he's still your friend. You sound like you really love him, and your story sounds a lot like how me and my gf were, before we had a problem and split (but we still love each other). You should tell him, because I told my friend and a month later we got together, and it was the happiest time of my life. We're only 14 though, so it was more difficult and the school found out, so we had lots of problems and were only together for a little while.

But you sound so sweet, so tell him, and if hes not like that, just say thats ok, and you want to still be his friend and stuff and you'll control yourself, because you're so sweet!!! Honestly I really wanna hug you right now. :)

So good luck, and I really hope everything goes well for you :) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

honestly... if u guys tell each other everything.. i would say tell him how u feel about him... tell him that u wanted to just get it out of ur chest, and that u do'nt want ur friendship to become awkward or that he starts hating u or something.. tell him he's the first guy u ever felt this way about, and that no other guy, nor girl has ever made u feel this way... tell him that u needed to get it out of ur system, and that whether he accepts ur feelings or not, u still wanna be friends with him... and that u hope he will remain ur friend

i am pretty sure that he won't judge u or hate u.. cuz u guys love each other (at least as friends)... and well whether h e likes u as more than friend or not... at least u will be able to know ... and u will be able to move on, and deal with the situation accordingly... if u don't tell him.. u will never know how he feels about u, the way u have described ur relationship with him, makes me think that u r both into each other... he might be scared to tell u, just like u... but he might just see u as a friend... but regardless... even if that's the case...at least u will know whether he likes u or not...and u can move on...

i wish u the best, ohpe that that helped... and ithink that honesty is the best way to go

First off, I'm a hopeless romantic and this story is soooo sweet!!! The whole time I was reading I was thinking "Awwwwww!".

Anyway, yeah I would talk to him as suggested above. Ask what he thinks of you and how he feels about you.

BUT there's a game that comes to mind that may be more fun. It's the Too Gay Game. What you do is since yall are both "straight" ask him if hes ever heard of that game and challenge him to play. So when yall are alone sitting on the couch or whatever you start and do something small like put your hand on his thigh or something. Then you ask, "Is that too gay for you? Do you give up?" Ideally he would say no and then its his turn to do something "gay" and ask you the same thing. Other things to do as you build up would be something like take your shirt off, get really close to his face like your about to kiss etc. and slowly get more physical. If he gives in and whatever your doing is "too gay" for him, stop and hold it over his head that you won. Give him hell about it and say stuff like hes a wuss and cant take the heat. If he challenges your sexuality, just say your comfortable enough with your sexuality and with him to actually play the game and its no big deal to you. But you still won. Just give him hell about losing and hopefully he will want to challenge you just so youll shut up about it.

This can be very fun and can open some dialogue along the way....

i only read this and am taking the time to comment because i was in the same situation a few months back. i am a girl, and i was in love with my best friend who is also a girl. i didn't realize it until towards the end of our friendship, before she started dating this total douchebag. what really made me want to comment is when you said "ever since I met him I knew that I would never meet anyone like him again"... that's exactly how i feel about this person. but she is completely straight, so when she started dating this guy she changed and dropped me as a friend. i was depressed for many months, but i have gotten over it. i know what you felt and i know it seems like this is the love of your life, but if you come out with your feelings and he rejects them, just know that with time you can grow and things WILL move on. its beautiful you could find someone like this in your life but i am thinking he is most likely straight so thats why i am trying not to get your hopes up. but the best idea here is to come out clean with him, have a talk, sort things out. if he was really a true friend and he didn't love you in that way, he would understand and you guys will hopefully continue to be friends. i wish you the best of luck and i am so glad someone out there is in the same boat as i am!

well i would say you are obviously gay or bisexual there is no denying that..but i think your friend sounds straight :/...i think this becuz i am a girl and i have a BEST friend that is a girl 2...she is awesome and we have a similar relashonship 2 the one u and your friend have...the only difference is im straight and so is my friend..the reason why i think your friend is straight is becuz my friend and i often joke about being lezbo but we are straight as an arrow....think logically if your friend is joking about gayness do u really think he is? he sounds like a typical boy...the good news is you can enjoy your time with him as friends and no one is forcing you to make a decsision now..u have all the time in the world :)...also there is NOTHING wrong w/ being gay its just as normal as being straight..but my ultimate advice is dont tell him..u r only 16 that will complicate the situation and the risk is not worth the benifit TRUST ME!

best of luck,

plain jane

Hey, I love my bestfriend too. We're both straight and we're sure about that even some people think that there's something between us, still we dont get affected by their opinions because we dont give sh*t about them. As long as your comfortable with yourselves, dont let other narrow minded people affect your relationship. I love my bestfriend and I care about him so much. He's like a brother to me and my family and his know each other. So, technically, we're like one big family. We always hug and kiss eachother on the cheek if we have a chance and call each other "bestfriend''

Umm well I wouldn't tell him because he has a girlfriend, you friendship may be at risk, and you said you were 70% sure he's not gay.

Continue to be his friend and look at his reactions..

If you are serious about this and have a strong feeling that he may like you then go for it.

i know people say this all the time..but listen to your heart. The times that have happened between you two aren't just a coincidence, there is definatley something going on, but just try to find a little more about it...while joking around about being gay or watever..just b lik r u sure ur not gay..or something lik that...and then watever his answer is yes or no...and then i think it wuld b a good idea first to try to find out ur sexuality...so then that could come out with you asking him...and dont just ask him..b creative...mayb wen u two r just hanging out or watever you can grab his hand...or watch a movie and at a romantic part...quickly lean over and peck him on the cheek...dont hide your desires :)