How do you encourage someone who is battling cancer?

This is a tough one. I am a cancer survivor. I had stage 3 and I was only 36 years old. My chances were very high for survival. Well....tell her that 40% is a good number. Also that these are guesses. Please tell her that I had a co-worker that was suppose to not make it past the age 10. My co-worker was in her 50's when she told me about this story. Please tell her that people are surviving and living longer with cancer and that her attiude is a big part of the battle. Talk to her often and try not to treat her funny or mention it over and over. The goal is to live as positive as possible. Please tell her to stay busy if her energy is good and have some good fun, laugh and . Do not focus on dying, tell her to focus on living. Keep God first and have extreme faith. Faith that she will beat it. I am praying for your friend and sending good thoughts her way.

Her pessimism or otherwise will make no difference at all to the progress of her cancer or to its outcome.

II know you mean well, but I'll tell you something, as someone who's been where your friend is: People who do not have cancer urging a cancer patient to fight, to be positive, to have the right attitude etc is not helpful and can be counter productive.

It made me feel guilty, and therefore worse, because I just COULDN'T be as positive as everyone was urging me to be.

And there is no evidence that a positive attitude has any effect on cancer, and plenty of evidence that it has no effect at all.

This report in the British Medical Journal explodes the theory that a 'fighting spirit' is associated with longer survival from cancer or that 'hopelessness and helplessness' means poorer outcomes. The researchers analysed existing studies from1979 onwards; their conclusion is:

'There is little consistent evidence that psychological coping styles play an important part in survival from or recurrence of cancer. People with cancer should not feel pressured into adopting particular coping styles to improve survival or reduce the risk of recurrence.'

http://www.bmj.com/content/325/7372/1066.1.full

More:

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/5780.php

http://www.abc.net.au/pm/content/2007/s2068180.htm

I have known people who fought, who would have given anything to live a little longer or to see their children grow up, who died of cancer.

I was severely depressed during cancer treatment; I felt as if my life was over, and sometimes wished it was. And here I am, almost 7 years after being diagnosed with stage 3 grade 3 breast cancer - fit and well, in complete remission with no sign of cancer

If you want to be a good friend, don't try to encourage your friend into behaviour that doesn't come naturally. Allow her to be depressed, to be frightened, to talk about her feelings and her fears, and don't dismiss those fears. The worst thing you can do is tell her she's going to be fine - she knows you don't know that, since her doctors don't. Listen to her - being a good listener is the most important thing you can do.

Best wishes to you both.

These odds don't really mean anything. If she has the will to live and is ready to fight for her chances are much better. You can't instill those things in any one who doesn't want it but just being there for her to lean on is a big help. Don't tell her that everything will be fine or any thing along those lines as you just cant promise that, but be supportive and give her strength. A quote by the philosopher Nietche goes "He who has a "why" to live can put up with any 'how.' "

You must be complimented for your concern.You be with her and try to keep her upbeat.Her Husband should take all care as data shows it helps maximum.

Anxiety and depression are the 2 main psychological complaints of women with breast cancer. In this study, it was observed that most of the patients (65.2% in group A and 54.9% in group B) suffer from very high levels of anxiety , but moderate levels of stress and borderline depression were observed in group A and group B (39.4% and 38.7%, respectively). This finding is consistent with the others in the literature, which shows that anxiety and depression are major problems in women with breast cancer. It is said that the experience of the adjuvant chemotherapy of breast cancer is a stressful event in women's life and causes a range of distressing symptoms, such as anxiety, stress, and depression. Although these symptoms are likely to be transient, they may pose various demands and difficulties. Manifestation of fear of pain and malignancy were mainly psychological morbidities in group A and group B (21% and 23%, respectively), not doing any work, inability to concentrate, anorexia, and looking for somebody's support. Therefore, discussion with the patient's husband is always useful to meet his wife's real needs, her emotional problems, treatment, and rehabilitation plan. Some investigators have demonstrated the efficacy of counseling in improving psychosocial morbidity. However, counseling does not seem to have an impact on the ability to provide reassurance, and also it failed to demonstrate any improvement in psychosocial morbidity. This may be due to a small sample size of the study. Its efficacy, however, needs to be explored in a larger sample size with longer duration counseling. Although supportive-expressive counseling revealed a positive impact on the duration of adjustment, the finding suggests that an appropriate intervention, including psychoeducation and emotional support are needed for patients with breast cancer in order to detect and manage psychological distress.

Last year, my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer with a 5% chance of survival. We gave it to God, trusted Him, and a pastor friend shared the verse "This sickness was not meant to end in death, but so the Son of God may be glorified through it." John 11:4

Sometimes, cancer is meant to end in death, but we felt really strongly that this cancer wasn't. We kept the faith and even through the worst times (like when she was dying in ICU), I knew it was all going to be okay. Sure enough...she's cancer free and recovering in the next room.

My mom kept asking my stepdad to let her die so he called my grandma who was a nurse. When she flew in to stay for a year, she noticed my mom looked very sick. She looked like a skeleton...really pale and skinny. So she fed her every hour on the hour. Ice cream with protein mix blended in. Every hour she went in and made my mom eat it. After a while, she didn't look so sick and she had more good days.

Some foods that are supposed to help against cancer are grapes and asparagus.

Its been proven eating some magic mushrooms gives people a better outlook on a small life span.