I think I can't go on with this job without this guy?

We’ve been officemates for 2 years now in a call center as Customer Service. I felt that I just found my soul mate.

However, he seem to have more of a feminine side which maybe the reason why we seem to be so compatible..But he does not dress like a girl or wear any makeup..lolz.. For me, he is tall, dark and good-looking..We share similar likes in food, music, laugh at the silliest jokes..

He said he was never into a relationship before. I just broke up with my ex last year..(sob)..But bec. of the friendship I found with this guy.. joy came back to my life.. But our job now is really stressing us out esp. we work graveyard..You have to face the computer and talk on the phone almost nonstop for 8 straight hours..it's like chewing gum for the entire shift..haha.

I find the job difficult now esp when dealing irate callers and meeting our metrics.

But the salary is really way above-average so the fat paycheck is what really keeps us going..

But one day, he finally said that he is tired and will be leaving to find another job by March next year.. I tried to ignore the sadness but when I got home and I’m alone, I couldn't help but breakdown and cry..

I realize i just can't go on with this difficult job without him. There was a time he went on a leave for 2 days and I was really sad even though I know he will still come back.

And now, I don't know what to do. It seems he is the main and only inspiration that keeps me holding on to the job. But I still keep praying to God that I won't get too attach with this guy and that He will take away my feelings for him.

But still weak as I am , I am really going to miss him really really bad..I will missing share the same locker with him, I will missing our breakfast and lunches together..I will hanging out, shopping and watching movies with our friends but without all those kissing and romantic stuff..

I already miss him even if he has not yet filed his resignation..Is it bec.I am in love with him?

But even if I have feelings for him..I know he only sees me as a friend.. Sometimes I keep assuming he might like me too more than a friend. But he never courted until now so i guess i'm out of luck.

Now I am also thinking of finding another job.but I’m scared I have to start at the bottom. I graduated Business Admin so I am thinking of a getting day job maybe at the bank or restaurant but I am scared I might not able to adapt to the change sor with lesser salary.

I don't want to regret leaving. But staying without him is causing me more than the stress and depression I can already handle..

I have some friends but it will never be the same without him.. I don't want to stop him if that's what makes him happy..

But what about me?? I feel so alone and depressed in this job that I am having so much difficulty . I am enduring the stress always worrying what type of calls I will be receiving everyday but I just don't have any choice right now because I need to save more money so I can’t start my own business someday.

I also have bad memories breaking up at work with my ex who was also my colleague before but was transferred to another department. What’s so painful was that it was Valentine's Day when he announced to me he has someone new. But now I am trying to move on.

And now I have to relive the pain of being left and abandoned by my closest friend.

It seems I cannot take this any longer. They said that my fear of abandonment is because my mom left me when I was 6 and I live with my dad but we are not so close. And that is the reason I crave so much for love and attention and letting go with the people I love is so so difficult for me…

Please help me..What should I do?? I keep getting brokenhearted..Will I ever move on and be happy even without the person I learned to love? Should I risk and find another job? Will that help me cope with my depression?